Isn't it here yet....

Sarkattack

Why are people so shocked about the barclay brothers closing down and shipping out of sark?

Multi-billionaires, corporate giants, money machines have always attempted to subvert/bend/change governments to suit their ends.

The people of sark voted to keep their system of feudalism in place, for whatever reason they are happy with it or simply - after 400 years - just that little bit worried the prospect of potential change.

The brothers don't like it and have voted using the influence they have.  You could say they have elected to use their rights of expression. 

The co-operative don't invest in countries, companies  or regimes that goes against their ethical charter, should they be told they can't do that even though those millions might help people in poverty?  Aren't they expressing the rights of their members and beliefs?

Plenty of people complain about the lack of democracy in so many parts across the globe, yet right on the uks doorstep is an island which is only now taking faint faltering steps.  They made their choice to keep change at a minimum, and the brothers expressed their disappointment, perhaps it is just a case of nothing to see here.

But it's approaching that time of year, for feasting, dancing and song...

Pie at 6 o'clock... no, 2 o'clock... is it a pie? ...

... and there you have it, as good as a stodgy politician lumping around in sheep's clothing.

After three bites and meeting nothing but pastry - in this alleged meat pie.  I decided to keep the rest.  Take it home, and place it under closer scrutiny in a soup bowl.  Just to give it some depth.

But, as can be seen from the opposite of an already munched side, a reasonable amount had been gobbled without meeting any form of resistance, whether in juices, tantalising flavour let alone anything resembling tenderised meat.  Nothing but the same flabby bits of over sogged pastry. 

So here are pictures (quick sequence) of the pie, and the heaped teaspoon of filling that obviously went into it, followed by acres and acres of more lamentable pastry.  Meat pie?  More like "nasty pie surprise!"

Sadly it turned out to be a proverbial oh why did i bother.  And will teach me to pack a small horse of apples to munch on, and not to munch on anything whilst travelling through a strange part of town.  However tempting it might first appear - unless it happens to be first recommended by a local!

For those wishing not to indulge at this particular eatery or for those masochistic enough for an experience, it can be found here:

On a totally different and unrelated matter, is there a law against idiots driving through built up areas with exhausts rivaling blasting off shuttles?  I thought that sort of nonsense went out with the eighties?  If not shouldn't residents be given the right to buy rpg's or bazookas - for some peace and quiet?

What was that...?  There's a world outside?

 

 

And the countdown continues

Back to basics sweatshop

Fundapet

People are under the false impression that 100% fundamentals will take note of any life outside of their belief system has any importance.  As far as they are concerned, people who don't believe have as much legality to existence, as a petri dish of slime.

Not that any of this matters...

End of year thoughts - part II (the continuation - somewhat)

End of year thoughts should really encompass more than the worst or the best of what's happened, even if they're all the majority can remember - or those out there with a similar piss-poor memory.

The following few musings have drifted up through bubbling randomness, which needs to be given a waft of some type of freshening air; either that or it simply had me outraged, hawking up, and legless in stitches.

Best....

Advertisement: in my opinion is toshiba's upscaling (when over to their site click on the tv on the box, then the view ad tab on the top banner, and after a second of them showing off the flash effects it will start) advert, that's tickled all my bones and kept me going back for more feasting eye-fulls. 60 seconds of well-spent viewing. But i suppose after losing out in the hd wars, they had to come up with something redemptive, the advert mind, not sure about the upscaling nonsense.

Brief piece of music used in an advert: again toshiba's upscaling one does it for me, but honourable mention to the spot samsung f480 (yes that was the phones model number) at the time of the beijing olympics.

Movie trailer: the day the earth stood still, the trailer; did i mention anything about acting?

News: that bastion of capitalism (that's kept us all fed and safe for decades) has gone belly up, and had to have its carcass dragged out of the flood waters by the nasty liberal/socialist scum who hold such values as human rights, equality, fraternity in high regard. Brrrrrr!

Game: eve-online - naturally i'm biased.

Amateur spin off video of a game (or machinima to give it its correct title): must surely go to clear skies, from john rourke and gang. The full 450mb download is available from here, or a 26mb trailer here. Or go to the eve-online site and see what the hard-core nutters - sorry - fellow gamers, have been saying about it.

Anti-hate speech: to keith olbermann.

A brief glimpse in seven categories that have caught my vibrating eyes & ears this year. And the worst is yet to come!

Forgot about what? The uk government losing half its citizens data? Luckily that was last year. But this year, isn't quite yet finished. After the feasting there'll be plenty of time...

Potty brain

When younger, I used to enjoy pottering (yes even during those tender formative years, I enjoyed a good potter), growing plants, drawing plans which involved building small dams and irrigation systems.  All in a patch no bigger than 4ft by 1.5ft.  But it kept me enthralled for months.

Now, many years later, with less space than that assigned a dinner-ready rabbits hutch, i've found the delights of having plants nearby makes for calmer, healthier and more relaxed living quarters. 

I almost feel that i'm returning to harmonious beginnings, a long trek back to the welcoming heaving bosoms of nature, even whilst living in the depths of capital disposability and pollution.

So what plants are currently co-habiting my cramped space, swapping my obnoxious gasses for healthier ones?

First off, that old proverbial favourite the spider plant.  Next, albizia julibrissin (mimosa) which initially  required a lot of care and attention, but now appear to have settled in and zoomed off, followed by bucket loads of umbrellas.  These plants seem capable of growing in anything, anytime, anywhere; as long as they're swimming in it - water.  Which is always handy if you call  a canal your home.  A small but happy three pronged dracaena marginata.  Last but not least, two new additions; a lovely little four year old ficus retusa microcarpa (bonsai tree) and a somewhat spindly but vibrating guzmania - which is having re-orienteering settling in issues.

So how infectious is this growing affliction?  Extremely severe, would be a nice all encompassing phrase.

I've rediscovered the fine pleasure to be gained from pottering around tending plants, so it does seem that i have finally joined the potty-brained brigade!

Now, for matters more pressing...

Nothing to report here

Red eye

Fruit and veg luxury

In the uk a bastion of opportunity, fairness and democracy, it's telling how truly bad things are; when people start thinking of ordinary fruit and vegetables as an expensive luxury.

Tesco and the sausage factory

With venice sinking, cholera & anthrax rates practically doubling by the hour in sinkbabwe, parents running over each other to disregard the disregard mmr messages and have their children finally vaccinated against mmr, uproar over the police invading parliamentary privilege; i have a serious complaint about the fresh(?) cooked counter at tesco's!

In the past tesco was a favourite haunt.  A regular fix that ended once i parted with hundreds of pounds per month.  Even had home delivery's (admittedly they only managed 85% accuracy), until it became laborious, a pain and then a chore i could live without.

That aside, now and then I enjoy popping into the local store, as they're still the only place within an easy stroll which does a wonderful cooked sausage - and yes i know the rubbish and conditions that goes in to the making of them, but when breakfast has comprised of porridge made with water and honey (to cut cholesterol levels), the only thing my stomach and brain agreed on come shopping time, is that great big, curving, succulently juicy, calling my name - with a hint of spices about it - cumberland sausage!

One crafty sleight of hand carried out and which springs to mind in regard to tesco (which is why we should always keep receipts for moments like this), is the cooked foot and half long curvy cumberland sausages used to be 89p.  Now tescos have done away with those and plumped instead for a straight spicy sausage which is half the size of the previous monster, for - you've guessed it - 89p.

But on this particular occasion I popped in and made a bee-line for the counter (as that was the only thing I was going to buy) only to see a fellow customer there, not quite in an overjoyed frame.  After nearly a minute of  nothing happening or seeing any movement behind the counter, I asked him if he'd been served.  He said he'd been waiting there for ten minutes and hadn't been served yet. Okay, thought I, 10 minutes waiting...  Seeing a customer assistant to the right of me packing the shelves, i called him over and asked if there was anyone serving.  He said quite jocularly that as much as he would like to serve, he hadn't been trained in "not burning himself", with a wry smile, but he'd go to find someone.  And off he went.

By this time a fair little queue had built up, with people comparing the popping into tesco's experience as more akin to having teeth pulled and preferences been made for asda, as been far cheaper; lidl, for being a good bargain, and the odd trip to marks and spencers just to ensure there's still life kicking in those bargain basement corpses.

The upshot, the first customer had been standing there for nigh on 15 minutes, as the customer servicing agent that should have been there, was no-where to be seen.  The person who had 'temporarily' taken over didn't know where she was, and looked as if she really didn't want to be there anyway as no doubt an important mobile call was been missed.

The beginning of the end of tesco?  Lax, management?  Doubtful and they have enough clout to lop off the top heavy prices to become cheap enough so no-one'll care.  But there were five unhappy people at the counter, I wonder how many people they've spoken to, communicating miffed disgust?

That aside, how many days...?  Oh yes, 21.

End of year thoughts, part II

Ah, with each passing month that old saying fact is stranger than fiction, just can't help intruding its big nose into the virtual world of effluent froth.

Bah!

Only three  weeks to go before the elbow gouging, back stabbing, bunion crunching, present wailing time of year comes to its ultimate conclusion.  This year will be interesting, now that everyone - even those in numbers 10 & 11 - are aware that conurbations of people will avoid the annual round of spend and blubber. 

We may spend a bit more time thinking about what we (non-all-inclusive) can afford and what the presentee will be happy to receive, given the state of current financial straight-jackets.

If someone does decide to pop over offering buckets of mulled wine mixed with solace and kind words, you could just imagine them been greeted with a trebuchet full of warming pitch followed by sackful's of cards and a hearty clear off!

Sadly i digress.

End of year thoughts, will just have to wait until the end of the week and some poignant finishing touches.

In the meantime...

A matter of opinion

The best thing for rudolph?  Some might disagree.  The others?

Ofwho?

For those who thought ofgem was bad; ofcom makes that entity look like a staunch bastion of consumer hope and action, but enough about dinosaurs.

Ofcons charter has obviously been thrown out of the window, for been to problematic.  And why ofcon?  Because we have been so conned into believing this was an organisation set up for the benefit of the millions of people who use telephones, broadband, mobile services.  Those whose only sanction is to walk away and try to find a different provider.  But even that's beset with it's own problems. Want to port your number or port your broadband?  Tough!  Just come with us so we can make sure your options are encased in concrete before been weighed down by iron weights - like the good old days.  But, enough of smoke and mirrors.  Who needs good facts, when bad facts are twice as good for half the price.

So in honour of ofcom's inability to realise - or care, that consumers are been cheated, misled, taken round the houses on a mystery tour they're dearly paying for. In honour of ofcom (and the asa) like rabbits caught and blinded by the industry - it's supposed to regulate; it's time this useless guano was renamed something more appropriate, and my has there been many helpful (however questionable) names put forward already.

Sadly my t'penny ha'penny worth only came to, office of codswolloping odorous mange.

But onto more pleasing concerns...

Spidy do

The spider plants (given as a gift), as well as enjoying an ambient temperature of 15-17 degrees celsius, also appear to be enjoying my bodily expulsions and have thus grown by leaps and bounds.

A flower, with four more waiting in the wings, has burst open.  Which has surprised me.  As the only bit of colour I thought i'd see this side of spring/summer 2009, would be my face turning blue on cold & frosty mornings.

But the main reason for the shrubbery, is to help combat the never-ending pollution.  After waking in the morning (once the plants have switched from carbonising to oxygenating), the smell of heavy auto fumes hangs thick in the air.  Once the curtain and room's open to the world however, the fug only momentarily lasts before been replaced by a healthier brew.  No wonder i'm feeling high, so often. Obviously continual diesel/petrol fume inhalation isn't good for any extended period of time, but it certainly does open up a whole new view of the world!

   

The annual london tube fare rush

Seems a bit churlish mozzing on about the tube been like death and taxes, when people are been slaughtered, starving, raped and pillaged around the world.

But there it is.  My contribution to the stilted nonsense, furrowing through layers of mist.

Back onto the tube.  Shouldn't next years increase be in the travellers favour, sort of falling in line with inflation?  With january bringing the annual increase, it's fun to have a quick look back to a time before.  In this case january 1995 - or two years before the witch project began.  An ordinary 7 day, zones 1&2 travelcard, would have set you back a whopping £13.80p

In january 2009, the weekly travelcard will set customers back £25.80 and i'm sure, if memory serves correct, the zones are now smaller.  lt certainly loves their four-fifths of a pound, which considering how much everything else has shot up (although heading back down again); isn't to bad.  If you're disabled, under 16 or on a new deal, then (after stripping out inflation) it's cheaper to travel using public transport, today than in the last few heady days of the last discredited conservative party.  Oh how times feel eerily reminiscent, even if wafting different stripes.

And in a world of disasters, crimble catastrophes clingingly clamber...

Sack the claws

Nothing much in this one.  Crashes, murders, rapes, natural causes, a sharpened stone.

Hanging baubles

Murder, mayhem, mischievously mulch.

A tree is for life and not just for christmas

Each year the closing in of the days, are accompanied by scudding clouds wistfully skipping across grey distant horizons.  Tucked away, fast out of sight, a festive enclave waits in readiness.  Waits for the return of the christmas king - and his merry band of pixies.  Ready to watch in awe, the revered art of tree making.

Yes the lights are on, and it's a full throttle countdown.  Bugger the cost, its celebration time.

So without further ado, p'shop touch up jobs, or any fanfare. 

We proudly present, christmas 2008!

pictures © 2008 and courtesy of apa.

And now embodying christmas present...

 

A tree is for life and not just xmas

2.5% and a vat to nowhere

I've always wondered what it would be like to be up a creek without a paddle, or a boat. Now i know.

Weeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

"Let's cut 2.5% off vat and people will be doing cartwheels in the streets with joy, they'll be overjoyed," darling said turning to gordan in triumph. "Won't they?"

Gordon could see the euro signs tumbling down from mammon heaven. As by time he'd finished the economy would be in its own 6x2, and he'd be on the world circuit; bypassing flighty arse in the earnings league.  Oh yes, he could see it all.

The top working 1% will be hit with a new tax rate of 45% - if Labour wins the next election.  So this whole exercise will be heading straight into the ground.  As cameron and co. will be in power and trimming the fat, sinews, bone, and soul from everything not helpful to the swings and roundabout nation.

On the other end of the political spectrum, 1% of people will be clapping their hands in glee but wondering why a 70% tax hike wasn't imposed instead.

So after the hoopla, the nonsense been talked up over a weekend.  How does this wonderful gb giveaway affect me and those around me?

Those small business owners i know, are battening down hatches, a drop in vat of 2.5% will be kept and not passed onto consumers. 

Since many basic food items are zero rated, gas and electricity not applicable, most people who use their stores won't benefit anyway - whilst the poorest of the poor, will still  be left wondering when a party will come to power that will actually be of benefit to them. 

With unemployment following the lemming led plunge of the economy, they are now ever farther away from reaching that nirvanic goal of gainful employment.

And once more, the only westminsterarian talking sense is vince cable. Perhaps he should do a stint on strictly come dancing, before been elected president!

Pixie dust

Woke up this morning, pulled aside the curtains; and blinked.

Was that?

Could it be?

Yes! A sprinkling of snow was littering the rooftop of cars, sticking stubbornly to tables.  So i quickly whipped it out.  Took a few snaps,  before the white stuff melted.  As this is the second month in a row we've had snow in london; i don't remember (will have to look up or be told) the last time that's occurred - at this time of year.  Hopefully then, come xmas time, it'll be the third and a snowy xmas scene for one and all.

However, if that is the way things are going, stock up!  Start buying those cheap tins of corned beef, snow shoes or snowboards, small camping gas bottles...  Because if it's a heavy snow fall over the xmas season in the  capital, you know everything will simply grind to a halt - for days.

 

   

Aarggghhhh for shoddy rubbish

The benefits of keeping a receipt - regardless of the time frame - finally showed its worth today.

A while ago - well at the start of the year.  A lovely swivel chair with ample padding, was purchased from Argos (what do you mean serves me right!), and promptly put together with nary a problem until the past week.  

I don't jump on, bang shut, slam down, wrench open, kick, thump or slap any of my belongings whether they're working or not; i tend to find they work far better and usually for longer, that way.  So when the chair started to wobble, I just thought it was the carpet giving me grief, or my centre of gravity changing and i was now seriously one cheek heavier than the other!

But all that was folded away and put back into their boxes, as (see pictures attached), the top part of the chair, fell back and off to the side - luckily carrying me with it.  The bottom portion which contained the upright, now had a very sharp jagged circular remnant from the base of the top - which would by the look and feel have cut and sliced a substantial portion of whatever bit of me it would have caught; with hospitalisation soon after if i'd survived to make that call.

So after making a call to argos, and been very surprised when the representative said, "take it back with the receipt to any argos for a replacement."  But then, saying that would be far quicker than a law-suit.

   

Before that grievous attempt on my good person, I was in the process of observing natures interplay.

Forceful delights

Waking up, no more than ten minutes ago.  I swept aside the curtains to look out on a bit of scenery.  On the right (of my position) a clear blue sky.  To the left an approaching cloud mass, that - according to the weather folk - might herald (no pun) a few measurements of the pristine christmas stuff.

So in a moment of madness, my camera, woolly socks and I, ventured out of the prison (sorry, really must stop saying that), out of the flat with camera in tow and snapped a couple of pics for the memory and for am unusually happy blog - however relevant.

Gloomy washing

Just when I thought it was reasonable to stick my head above the parapet another wave of doom and gloom charges across the horizon. 

I'm big enough, ugly and old enough to remember the past two downturns, if its really bad it'll be a decade or two before most parts of the populace feel as if things are on the up - looking as though it's heading that way.  On the other hand, it might be all over by 2012; if everyone else can jump on that float...

But it probably won't matter anyway.  After all the save energy infommercialistas pumped out, there are still people in the carbon producing, gas guzzling leading democracies who decide to do a full wash, with only three small items in a washing machine; we're doomed!

And they came from a two-parent-opposite-sex-male-female-household!

Wonder if there are any statistics out there which actually monitors the parentage of criminals.

Does mass murderer tb come from family type a), b), c), d), or e)?

1. Happy and stable male and female pairing with no skeletons, no lies, taxes done on time, tithe the correct percentage, or hold up the tenets of humanism, look after their parents and grandparents, recycle, have a hippo in the loo,
2. Happy and stable same sex pairing with no skeletons, no lies, taxes done on time, tithe the correct percentage, or hold up the tenets of humanism, look after their parents and grandparents, recycle, have a hippo in the loo.
3. One parent with the other parent absent.
4. One parent with other parent visiting and everyone been on talking terms.
5. From the orphanage.

But of course, not just for a mass murderer, but for any type of felon!  Then you roll it out to the general population, including biometrics, blood and urine samples.

In the middle of grey dampness

Just a couple of pics taken the other day on a gray damp afternoon. 

But even amidst swathes of bland regularity, the odd burst of colour manages to poke through, truly bursting through when tweaked.

        

Up with the barricades

A gay couple caressing on a music video that'll be viewable by anybody?  Up with the barricades.  The revolting scene is in the boyzone's 'better' video, these particular clinchers can be viewed here and occur at the following times in the aforementioned linked clip:

1. 57 seconds
2. 1 min. 43 secs.,
3. 2 mins. 32 secs.,
4. 2 mins. 48 secs.,
5. 3 mins. 20 sexs.

Far better to bring back the cat-o-nine tails followed by a damned good birching.

Now, onto other parts.  The upstanding stalwarts of doctrine, almighty peace and love in afghanistan are at it again.  Keeping up the good fight by instilling fear into the heathen orientated backsliders by descending on the really good idea of squirting acid into female children's faces.  Children of parents who have dared send their offspring  to schools (single sexed mind) and who dare to remotely dream of them obtaining an education which might improve their, and eventually the country's, situation.  The cheek of it.  Far better those little ones watch their mothers in the kitchen and spend the time getting used to walking six feet behind, doing their duties five times a day and getting ready for the paradise hereafter where they can get down to the proper business of servicing the men folk, as proper virgins should.

Giving people an education indeed!  Next they'll want a shower once a week and use deodorant whilst harping on wanting you to decide whether they should buy frozen twizzlers from a cabinet or a punnet of strawberries and cream.

Do we really want people to think for themselves, and worse yet, have any say in what goes on. Absolute nonsense!

At least the russian premier has the right ideas, bring back fear, loathing and suspicion.  No need to step forward and grasp onto a new hope, after all hope's only there to be used for target practice.  More tanks, more planes, more military, divide the world into even more blocks, you know it'll be more profitable in the long run.

And it's so good seeing the religious heads finally getting it together.  This internet and free flow of information's been a total bind.  If they can only push the really progressive stuff - purges, flailing's, inquisitions, jihads - into the background for a while, they'd be able to divide up the infidels; with those who protest to much been put to the sword, or burnt alive if accused of been a witch or warlock (good to see a few parts of africa and asia still have the right idea), and their belongings gathered up for the benefit of the remainder, or given to the person in charge of moral righteousness.  Once the world's been nicely divided up, we can get down to the real nitty gritty of seeing which deity's top dog, by going at each other hammer and tongs!

In a universe, far far away...  Silly me, i forget we already are.

EU on the brink

Yes!  The eu is on the brink of showing it might not be a totally useless dinosaur of an institution, by rescinding the rules the shape of our favourite fruits and veg can be sold.

What this should eventually mean is that millions of tonnes of food will become available for the average eu consumer to purchase fruit and veg - which used to bring millions of the uks population to the brink of tears whilst watching esther rantzens that's life, back into the aisles and stalls of our everyday overpriced supermarkets. 

That is, naturally, if some of the more stubborn farmer orientated countries (i.e. france), are unable to put a late minute spanner in the spokes.

Although the relaxing of the rules will only apply to 26 everyday food items, it will be 26 types which should shave a few more pennies/cents off household  expenditure; should  sellers pass the savings on.

But one side development.  This would seem to reduce the size of the plank been used by those clamouring for the withdrawal of the uk from the eu. 

Oh happy day.

Prop 8

Financial daubing

It's good, once more, to turn a page watch the tv or  listen to the news, without hysterical arm waving alarms about an impending financial meltdown; which could have brought the global economy crashing down, to the dawning days of wattle and daub and people using tallow candles for lighting.

At times, it somewhat felt that as ordinary citizens, we'd been mugged by the banks.  Then arrested and brought before a judge, who'd ordered us to pay the said mugger for the stress and heartache the poor mugger had been put through. 

Then having a supplementary sentence added on top, as the mugger had failed to lift as much from our persons as they had initially hoped.

But perhaps it's that skewed, cynical side of me that's been inhaling to much passing diesel fumes.

Balance of fairness

For equilibrium, fairness and balance, and nothing to do with wondering where the lines on humour or poking fun are drawn.  It's becoming more enjoyable travelling on a perambulating conveyance, as people say the funniest things when they're in a small group and nattering back and forth.

"...if obama's an even tan, does berlusconi have a little wop?"

Sadly the response slightly put a spoiler on it all,

"berli-who?"

The 44th president - Barack Obama

It's wonderful staying up until the late hours of the morning, watching an historic moment occur in the most powerful democracy on the globe.

The last time something this memorable happened was the sad day of 9/11, when i initially thought it was a trailer for a new movie. 

It seems the species is capable of climbing out of narrow confines, of causing a surprise. Perhaps there is hope.

A somewhat generous (would have gone up a notch if he'd turned on those who'd actually booed) and good, if rather late return of form concession speech by john mccain.  Whose shock and disappointment was palpable.  Maybe he will play a part, of newly refreshed optimism, that people of vision can grasp the thorny prize of breaching party line constraints. 

What can be said about sarah palin! Someone who is even further to the right than uk conservatives, would always be problematic when the majority of voters wanted something different to the previous years.

Oh yes, there's these little things to consider doing for the future.

1. 1st manned mission to mars.
2. 50% carbon emission reductions for the globe.
3. Cleaner oceans.
4. Getting rid of the trillions of dollars poisoned chalice left by your predecessor.
5. Sending pairs of rose-tinted glasses to those republicans who'll never like you, just because of who you are.

Congratulations to president elect obama, and may his tenure be a successful and memorable one.

Some of the better voting attempts

Well here's one of five encouraging images of the usa 2008 elections so far.

Five moving things

Well with unenviable task of moving house soon to be undertaken by so many people, here's a few things that need to be checked before allowing someone new into your home.

1. If they don't have butlers or cleaning staff, when they pop over for a chat and you appear over taxed, ask them to quickly wash a couple of dishes and maybe a pot or two.  If you (or your staff) have to clean anything again then don't let them anywhere near your pristine and clean belongings and certainly nowhere near the hearth.
2. Do they know how to use hot water and what it's good for?
3. Make sure you get a four year deposit, just in case they do a runner or they make a habit of inviting over unsavoury characters who you'd not wish to meet in a bright alley, let alone a dark one; and end up having parties every other week ransacking the place.
4. Test they don't enjoy playing with buttons by giving them a tv remote.
5. If their ideal of a gourmet meal is stuffing their face with hamburgers, then once again it's a no-no.

And that's the five point plan to ensuring you have someone reliable and house proud moving into your lovely abode.

Let rip the slavering dogs of presidential war

And no, the heading is not a swiping reference to any of the candidates over the pond.  It is just briefly touching upon the negativity and bile, which although not reported in many of the national pages are, with a bit of digging merrily bubbling away within some parts of the american zeitgeist.  Somewhat reminiscent of the victorians yes we know it's shit but do we have to talk about it, attitude.

Reading, watching, listening to the election of the next us president; events that have many (still waiting for the statistics on that one), people around the globe intently firing off their salvos on viewed proceedings.  From the downright misanthropic racist to the non-apologist humanitarian.

So i'm now setting the clock and counting down.  Because regardless of what transpires this will be (to borrow a phrase) a once in a generation, memorable presidential election.

A wastebin for ofgem

So what's the ofgem regulators tough talking, no nonsense approach, to the greedy energy companies?

Give them until the 1st December to come up with something, then refer them to another talking shop after a suitable period of time.  If they don't come up with something that “sorts this out”, the regulator will penalise them, “we can fine them.”

Whoop, springs to mind.

Good he can shop around though.  What about those who can't shop around, who are penalised because they are in arrears or have a pre-payment meter so are unable (due to them been held in a vice-like grip by their suppliers) to switch. 

So when the lights go out in 2015 as we run out of capacity, the many aging plants give up the ghost, and we can't afford to import, at least there'll be a swathe of the current crop of parliamentarians around, on whom blame can firmly, very firmly be attached.

In the meantime i think this firmly sums up most peoples thoughts on the subject.

Tinpot dictatorship

"Coffman was sued by Common Cause of Colorado and two other groups who claimed the state violated the National Voter Registration Act by illegally purging some 20,000 voters from its registration list within 90 days of the general election.  The plaintiffs wanted a preliminary injunction that would reinstate the purged voters and prevent the state from purging anyone else before the election."

http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2008/10/colorado-judge.html

If you'd read the above anywhere else in the world, you'd have presumed it was describing a corrupt despot trying to rig an election in his favour.

But nope, this is from that bastion of democracy the good ol' usofa, and from the republican (no less) edge of the divide. 

Seems they're starting early with the rigging this year! 

Let's hope that in the end, the electronics, chads, floaters, wafters and (worst case scenario) supreme court judges are able to get it right.

A brouha in a tea-cup

The Ross and Brand nuclear fall-out continues unabated despite rolling heads, resignations and apologies of so many involved in this world shaking scandal. 

Perhaps people have forgotten the corporation (bbc) has to pander to the whims and whimsy's of all it's license fee payers and not just one particular segment.  When said corporation only had two tv channels and smattering of radio stations, with not much in the way of competition; then a one size fits all boot, was all we had to endure and look forward to, and let's hope we don't have to go back to that particular restricted diet again.

I'm a radio 4 listener by nature and enjoy all of it's output, as the majority of it fits in with my outlook, interests and views.  To many others it's a station to be avoided until they reach the slippers, cardi and bi-focal glasses stage.  If the bbc was providing everything everyone needed then bskyb wouldn't be topping over 9m subscribers.

But in today's world, with so many competing carriers out there, they have to tailor their output across various stations and channels to the particular segment of that market which tunes in. 

Surely the worst that can be described about the pairs outburst, is that it's nothing more than a soupcon of bad taste, deserving nothing more than a hearty rapping across knuckles, financial sanction and apology.  All of which have been provided - however late.

Let's not forget that after the program aired, only two listeners of the show complained, and nothing more happened until a week later when the daily mail (not a known fan of anything national, except perhaps the grand national) ran with the story.  Then we have the prime minister of the country dragged out of a meeting to comment, the opposition parties getting embroiled and over thirty thousand people up in arms at this affront to dignity and taste.  The mighty thud of a bandwagon pile-up, must have been heard halfway across the world.

How many of those thousands who wrote in to complain fully listened to the program and not just the repeated 20 second sound bite, or are ardent listeners of the program?  I doubt if its a hundredth of that number. 

As they've suddenly become busy bodies of the first order, I hope those very same people have written into the fsa and the government, to complain about those financiers costing the economy billions of pounds.  Or that those very same people have written in complaining about the millions of people around the world dying due to the lack of something as basic as a tetanus injection, dying for the lack of a few tumblers of clean drinking water.  Or the many thousands of homeless in this country, who remain so whilst properties remain unoccupied, the list could go on.

It's all well and good complaining about the lack of standards and morals been paraded before our eyes and ears, and blaming all of society's ills on it.  Sadly, the reality of falling levels of rudeness occurred long before it happened on tv, the paper press can hang their heads in shame here to.  Monkey see and monkey do, whilst films hand a mirror to society, society hoiks a mirror back.

But unless we want to live in a world where the only things watch-able, readable, or experienced are those which are allowed by the holding reigns of power.  then we have to accept some things outside of the norms we might agree with. 

A bit like the offended granddaughter taking her side of the kiss and tell story to the sun newspaper!

It's good and sensible having a moral compass, perhaps it would be beneficial if our compasses were capable of pointing in any direction where injustices occur and not just in a select direction or two.  But then we'd probably be an entirely different species.  There are more things happening in the world that people need to be concerned, heated, enraged about than the misguided mutterings of a couple of aging adolescents!

However, unlike some out there, i don't believe this particular tea storm presages the death of civilisation...

Although seeing a bus emblazoned with an advert for a new film called zach and miri make a porno, i do begin to wonder.

Slay bells an' all

Ah yes, it's soon that time of year, when goodwill and happiness pervade every pore and people throw up due to excess.

But reading a couple of polls showing a general growth in people's need to deny others their freedom, decided on a quick poll. In keeping with the general bare boned sentiments of utter dislike and nastiness which is seemingly - despite the wealth of knowledge and interactions that abounds, ingrained within so many of our cores.

So the new poll which is anonymous, non-tracked and ends at 11.59pm on the 24th december, is purely a momentary plummet into the sinewy shadows of madness, apparently.

Barclays two fingers to the uk

Could it get any riper. One of the uk's biggest banks has decided it would far better ensure that its overpaid directors continue to get the biggest bonuses they can get away with, without a french style revolution by shareholders and remnants of the corporate battlefield.

On one hand they are more than happy to continue gouging and charging exorbitant rates for overdrafts, authorised or otherwise, and go cap in hand to overseas sovereign funds than allow any sort of control, however temporary placed upon them by the government and the taxpayers.

In light of this barclays, once more, shows what it really thinks about the uk and where it feels its best interest lays. Perhaps in the current climate those people who still have any slight twinges of consciousness left, should rise up and show this corporate coward what they think about its actions, and swap to another bank. Somewhere like the co-operative bank which is also one of the few excellent ethical banks out there.

[update 31st October 2008, 19:13]

Knew this was missing something. Now where's that bit of imagery...

End of year thoughts, part I

This might be a bit premature, with just over two months to go before the end of the western worlds end of year celebrations.  But with this year been such a roller coaster tsunami of epic proportions; I might as well start early, as by the end of the year there'll be so much to go through, all of this will be past its smell by date and to coin an overheard term well footed in its grave.

So here's a pre-emptive look-back boot at 2008 and early glimpse of 2009, in easy digestible bite sized instalments.

1. Greed good universal altruism bad, according to a newly unearthed bankers bible found in the wreckage of a discarded filling cabinet atop the newly discovered office waste mountain.
2. Our god is god.  There is no other god, and we'll kill any [put expletive group name of non-believers here] who say otherwise.
3. New breakthrough in human cetacean communication means humanity, for the first time, is able to communicate on a like by like basis with dolphins.
4. The HIV virus could have been around for 100 years.
5. Pro-lifers call for the branding and salting of abortionists.  Always forgetting that nature/god is the biggest killer of the unborn via miscarriages, diseases etc., although if they miscarried that's obviously the work of [put name of any evil entity here])
6. Gays are an abomination and blight on the planet.  UN supremo tells the world, 'the way the global population and resources are going we probably need more of them not less of them!'.
7. South Africa lost a president and loony health minister.  Sadly, the replacement president is hours away from splitting the party and plunging the country into chaos.
8. And continuing on in that part of the world.  Huggable mugabe looked as if he was back to his old tricks, but an unforeseen end of year heart-attack finishes him off, leaving his party in disarray, demoralised and without a heart.
9. Surfers in californa say they'll strike if dolphins are given entry to the next mavericks annual surfing competition, citing unfair competition.
10. The northern hemisphere's gripped in another calamity, as temperatures plummet, and already scandalous energy prices really go through the roof - pensioners take the streets but have to picked out of meter sized snow drifts by the newly formed homefront brigade.
11. Bright lights of unknown origin in the night skies cause rioting in many parts of the world.  Religionists say it's the end of days and a sign of the apocalypse.  Secularists say, it's obviously little green/red/blue men and they're here to welcome us into galactic civilisation.  Cats look up, then get back to the important task of licking their bottoms.
12. Just in.  Taleban have retaken most of afghanistan, give inhabitants of Kabul seven days to surrender; puts newly elected us president to the test.
13. UK government has a day of mourning for the millions of dead pensioners.  Commissions a £15m commemorative statue for whitehall.
14. Inline with the continuing brown legacy of hiving off good bits of the economy to the highest bidder, it's confirmed that great britain shall from 2020 be re-branded little china (gb division).
15. In relation to the previous entry, it's also been announced that everywhere inbetween offa's dyke and the irish sea, or wi's dip, will be called new-kong-a-leeky; whilst everything north of hadrians wall [or the little wall of china] will be designated, a parking lot.  Haggisnest soup is the new spicy delicacy in upmarket chinese restaurants.

Who knows, with all that's happened so far they would all fit in perfectly.

Energy utilities

Perhaps when it comes down to it, it is me and I have missed all the news in relation to oil, energy, gas and electricity. Maybe my half asleep id has missed the huge onrush of ceo's from energy companies parading themselves before the nations press, spouting their concern for the hard-pressed consumer by cutting gas prices by 35-50% and electricity prices by 19-24% . And with immediate effect. I must have overlooked their concerned visages earnestly peering whilst their mouths trot through the latest prepared speech, that it's about either helping or investing; forgetting there are many out there living on a day by day basis, who find themselves having to choose between lighting, heating, or eating.

You can just imagine their voices crescendoing on, “with oil now more than half it's $146 value a year ago peak,” yes it even touched $68.57 for US light crude before closing slightly up. “We feel the time is right that our consumers are given a break and we're glad to announce a 5% cut in gas and 2% cut in electricity prices,” and just as people decide on how to react to such a statement, it's finished by, “which will take place on January 5th 2009.”

Has anyone heard or seen anything like that? Or is the deafening rush of silence, from the absent, off the field utility companies, the only answer needed?

We would like to believe that a brand new bunch of fat cat ceo's will be walking that gold plank of parting, but I somehow feel the public mob mentality for such a public drubbing has, with simmering largesse, snuffed itself out.

What we do have however, is ed miliband announcing that the government will increase their carbon reductions targets from 50% to 80% by 2050 - 42 years time.

If a day's a long time in politics, then 42 years must equate to the universal equivalent of four big bangs. A very long period of time where even the ideology of those holding the power stick will probably have been radically changed by unforeseen events and circumstances.

If they attempt to reach targets by slow-creep taxation, it will be those on the bottom and in the middle who will take the greatest hit – especially since two big polluting sectors (aviation and maritime), look like been strangely absent from the proceedings.

Alternatively the government could consider bringing in effective legislation ensuring that new builds or repairs to existing builds that require planning applications, incorporate some element of renewable's or energy efficiency within there design. Imagine, a whole new manufacturing sector could be opened up, then sold off before the next popping bubble. Not only for the manufacturing of wafer thin etaic cells, but new inspectors – just like the tax collectors of old – will incorporate the curbing of excessive emissions, clamping down with powers to immediately close a business down, to giving certificates to those households and businesses who effectively meet the required standards.

So government might bring its full weight down to bear on the energy companies, under the possibility of talks about legislation “if they don't play ball!” What the bloody heck does that mean? They need to remove their noses from the utilities brown stuff and work to ensure that those unfortunates stuck on prepayment meters don't pay an extra £200 above normal rates. When you consider that prepayment users are actually crediting companies for their usage as opposed to those on monthly or quarterly plans who pay in arrears, then no wonder they find the pp'ers a useful set of cows to milk and not to do anything to truly upset the cart.

A while ago marie-antoinette was made infamous for saying “let them eat cake!” This current government will be famous for so many things, but one of the worst will be their seeming attitude of, more money for heating? Don't they know its global warming out there?

The unfolding saga will probably come to nought but a grubby watery end.  As in 38 years time panic will be the order of the day, with the government attempting to ram-raid the law into enactment – to reach the target, or quietly bury it under the table.  Let's just hope that in 42 years time that table isn't floating off, somewhere down the thames!