Sunday, 30 May 2010


One observational swallow does not indicate a good summer; but it can (where's that hedge trimmer) indicate change!

Last night (saturday) i wondered whether this mythical swallow had made an appearance?  I was actually able to sleep, without being bounced around or woken up; perhaps a sign of the end to the may madness which struck the venue earlier in the month, or simply an indication that things are finally improving and they might have installed sound-proofing or a limiter.

Yes, it's another one of those three-nights-in-a-row, 'hey guys we're open till 4am.  Neighbours?  We see no neighbours? Yippiee, a freebie' events occurring less than a stones throw, skip and a jump away, at the venue.

Before i crashed at 1am saturday morning, there were moments when the sound would cycle through those deep bass pulsating peaks and troughs – just the sort of thing you should be playing in a field hundreds of metres from people who live there and, not 28ft from residents and certainly not until 1am let alone 4am on a morning. 

The music was audible, with beats and individual notes easily distinguishable more than 200ft away.  Even the bits of environmental law i’ve read (that stays floating around chasing after tumbleweeds), indicates that if individual notes can be heard (i just didn’t realise there was a clause saying heard from the moon, which must be the location lambeth’s using to gauge whether they should do anything), then it’s loud – especially if its penetrating through shut double-glazed windows/doors and earplugs at 2,3,4,5,6am in the morning.

So what's it like here? 

Who said hell? … Ah, the escapees!

Here's a quick rundown on living here with a, more or less, out of control nightclub on the one hand, bus drivers who seem to have lost the ability to switch off their engines when stationary for more than 2 minutes at at a time - think 9 tons of bus-rumbling vibrations through all your rooms, then multiply that by 100’s of terminations per day, on the other.  But a rundown would take far too long, so the fun happenings and goings on since 1930s to the present day, will be in a lovely pdf, produced by yours truly and will probably make an appearance at the same time as when the noise-chart’s completed.  

In the meantime, a very quick rundown comprises of: earplugs, earplugs, earplugs, headphones, earplugs, earplugs, headphones playing static noise, and noise-cancelling headphones which sadly don't stop the vibrations, and earplugs.

Even the governments (“we’ve run out of money – ha haha ha”) recent noise maps are inaccurate, as they don’t take into consideration the noise generated at night by the venue.  Which when that is taken into consideration and combined with other measurements and indicators  leave this as one of noisiest and most air polluted areas in london, and that's (pollution measurements especially) official!

To date, despite numerous requests from other residents, the council seem strangely un– but i’ll leave that for another time.

Unlike the 3am trio at the start of the month, this bank holiday 4am triptych started off less noisier, but soon raced up the noise chart, with penetrating deep pulsating, bone vibrating, brain shaking bass low-notes and slightly more annoying, slightly less bass low-notes. 

So, the 2nd night?

I can sum up by saying, BA²!  For those who haven’t already guessed, it’s short for brixton academy's backside

Problems? What problems
We see no problems!


Friday, 28 May 2010


Proof? Read?

Quite. The proof of anything is either in the eating, reading, seeing, doing or hearing over a period of tim-.

Oh, proof reading!

Yes, always viewed that as a potty-mouthed swear phrase.

Thursday, 27 May 2010

We would like to thank…

At the 2010 awards for most destructive socio-environmental incident, under the category: accidental or not. 

The four nominations are…
  1. the almighty for the flood – for causing the extinction of most of what was, apparently.
  2. the american military – for generating millions of kilograms of hazardous, toxic and radioactive waste – all around the word.
  3. bp – for way outstripping in volume alone and destroying more of the environment than any other spill - accidental or otherwise, in peace time or probably any other time.
  4. union carbides bhopal disaster – with an estimated (to this day) death toll of over 15,000 with more people still, apparently, succumbing to the effects.

And the winner is…


We would first like to thank the us government for giving us this time of grace time in which we’ve stopped… teaspoon or tablespoon boys?  To not really achieve much, and so by the time they do take over, at least we can say we tried. 

We would like to thank the northern shores of the gulf states for letting the oil beach there (snigger), and for giving us this period to potentially ruin their lives and livelihoods (if they depend on anything sea-worthy) for at least a month or two.

We would like to thank both haliburton and transocean for getting us into this wheeze (thanks dick), i’m sure there’s a remittance around somewhere.

We’d like to thank all of you who haven’t yet taken it out on the directors, despite it being obvious to a tapeworm that when it really comes down to it, we really believe in the environment, after all, what’s it there for, if not polluting!

We would, once more, love to applaud the us government for allowing these practises to take place not only in their own backyard, but all around the globe.

And last, but not least, we sincerely like to thank all of you suckers out there taking it up the ass for us, yet again!

We thank you.

Wednesday, 26 May 2010

What is it with conservatives and children?

First many years ago the blessed margaret cut milk that was given to children attending primary schools, now her milk-tooth offspring cut the child trust fund.

More?  Did you ask for more?

Tuesday, 25 May 2010

Birthing who?

This is a slightly strong post for me; i presume the strength of my position arrives from been forced, whilst young, to participate in the visitation of the holy church – viewed, as it was by my parents, as necessary for “ensuring salvation of your immortal soul”; which still now leaves - after sloughing off many ideas i still find odd, contradictory and bizarre, simply watching and listening (however frothy), to those who would deny a woman such basic fundamental control over her own body, for the sake of religiosity (yet again) - an unsatisfactory familial ringing note.

Of course i fully agree with all those out there who want to stop women from having abortions. As long as you fully sign up to taking control of the ensuing offspring, financially, emotionally and, if needs be, to also physically bring up those children whom the mother may not be attached to if, for example, she has been raped, or drunk one to many and thought she had seen that non-existent condom, or even just after nine months had a change of heart.

There, that’s my ten shillings done with... Let me just clamber off my box, pack it away, and attach the label: not to be taken out before 2015!

Oh, but before i do. If you were wondering why i said “strong post,” in the opening sentence, and after reading thought, “call that strong?”  The following regurgitation is the subsumed version... “why do all you sanctimonious sons of bitches who crap on about pro-life, kill doctors, blah de blah, apparently can’t, or won’t, in any appreciable number, save the many millions of children who are orphaned, children who are sick, children who have no-one to look after them? How many of you brain-dead cretins rise up in fury at your governments who cosy up to, and practically hero worship at the altar of weapons manufacturers, who produce more weapons of mass destruction that kill more children and babies on an annual basis than any abortion doctor ever has. Actually, how many of you concerned-for-the-jelly lifers, have shaken your fists in fury at the almighty omnipresent narcissist who (if you believe he/she/it is indeed all of everything) allows the natural termination of many more millions of foetuses and babies, than any doctor or even weapons manufacturer come to that, ever has?”

So, there you have it. That was the initial angry blurb i was going to spout, before realising that calling people cretins would leave myself on not only very shaky ground, but probably no ground at all. At least it helped me decide to go with the far more rational second take instead.

Finally, before the box is safely locked away, i would probably turn a blind eye if, as in minority report (can i say minority report without it being taken as copyright infringement?), it could be proven without any shadow of a doubt, or that someone's being set up, that future boy-racer’s - with a propensity to only race around town, cause annoyance and overall general nuisance (unless heading for olympic glory) would be first for the flushing, swiftly followed by those who continually whine - life’s just too short.

Monday, 24 May 2010

BA Strike

Are you bleating about ba workers going on strike?

Think of it like this.

The first ruling: you turn up five minutes late to work and due to that misdemeanour have your entire days pay stopped by a junior manager.

The second ruling: a senior manager tells the junior manager to "stop being such an ass," and reinstates your whole days pay.

Naturally all of this is from my non-reading of any actual court documents or hearing anything more tasty than a sound bite, assessment.  Which could be so far removed from what's actually gone on, as to render this particular utterance worse than that last bit of frayed toilet paper i had to struggle with, just after the long-life bathroom light decided to blow.

Sunday, 23 May 2010

Religiosity - part... sorry, lost count.

Yay, go malawi (of course this diatribe isn’t a swipe at the entire populace of malawi). 

So we see yet another example of how love really is conditional, when it comes to many of the fanatically unhinged taking matters into their own hands when something they disagree with, that no ones forcing them to participate in, or that physically affects them, or involve them in any way (apart from them sticking their noses into it) bang their breasts with pride at the meting out of 'justice'.   A jail sentence of 14 years for daring not to love who we (our society, our culture, our indoctrination) tells us, we should love.  Suppose it's better than been killed on a street in london.

It's still depressing, but not totally debilitatingly depressing: listening, watching, feeling the various ways so many are literally involuntarily brain-washed into "do the right thing!"

Perhaps someone can correct me, if i'm wrong; but, according to the dusty unabridged/watered down to suit the times tome, doesn't it say that judgement is the lords and lords alone?  Yet there we go.  A pick 'n' mix contingent flashing its barred and fanged skirt tails - with the bright light of many snuffed by the new-old same-world nonsense they're lapping up that springs from the mindswill that occupies religiosity.

Listening to those outside the courtroom in malawi, witter on about "we are christians in this country, we follow the bible." Yes just like the romans followed their whims and whimsy's and used to throw christians to the lions with happy abandon, or slave owners used passages to proffer validity for their actions - so various groups around the 'paper's-please'  globe continue the task of persecuting those who are different or don't believe their particular brand of electron scouring.

The one priceless bit of spouted logic which sputtered across the airwaves said "if you marry each other, who will marry us?"  If that's your logic madam, hopefully no-one.  The species  needs a better gene pool. 

After all… fuck turning that other cheek, where's my uzi? ... Uzi!  ... Are we still using uzi's, or have we moved on?

Saturday, 22 May 2010

Wee test

Last night, no the night before, i was tapping away and imbibing a little dry with my dinner: oven baked fish with steamed potatoes, whilst sitting down to listen to a podcast .

As player of choice, I use VLC – the main reason, I can change the speed up to 4x. 

Track to slow? I can speed it to a level that fits my listen/assimilate ratio.  Prior to the alcoholic imbibing i had vlc at 1.28x, but paused the track as i was on the phone and subconsciously imbibing even more.  After finishing the conversation I resumed the track and had to increase the speed to 1.7x to attain the same listen/assimilate feeling ratio.

So a quick, non-scientific, brain-was-working test, indicates that the perception of time does indeed speed up when your pissed - well mine does anyho.

Wonder how long before the loosing sense of time kicks in and everything?

Friday, 21 May 2010

Synthetic life

On hearing that synthetic life has been created and a new dawn expectantly flashing it's peepers over the horizon, it was depressing to read that as far as the creator's (dr. venter) concerned, it will usher in a brave new industrial revolutionary world.

So basically, more of what we've had since the last brave industrial dawn but more tetchy; which entails the same proportionate number of people on the bottom living like crap, those in the middle bobbing up and down, and the creamers on the pinnacle.

Yay. Oh joy of trickle down joy!

I can just see people bringing out the tambourines, as they realise they won't have to work 50+ hours a week, as an ever increasing quantity of production's done by increasingly advanced bots. Oh wait, that was just a science fantasy in the 60's; in the real world people will be laid off as more work's undertaken by fewer people, as that's just the way the system (if we take the last 2000+ years of precedence) has been tweaked as normal.

When dr. venter says "they could help wean us off oil and reverse some of the damage to the environment by capturing carbon dioxide." Will that be everyone, or just those who can pay with the rest using the same old crap?

What? Rubbish?

Just look around, just look around.

I do believe it goes something like… “i bow down before our new artificial synlords.”

Thursday, 20 May 2010


Dim and distant future…

“Here we are at an apple altar.  You’ll first notice the pair of apple shaped handcuffs - which were, according to historians, used by the faithful who believed they were possessed of a grandiose technologically aesthetically pleasing product; thus inferring a status of awehood.  Naturally  wildly overblown, but during the dark days of blue screens of death and the dark empire, this was one product which miraculously seemed to seamlessly work and work well and was viewed by many as the way forward.  Right, any questions?”

“Is it true they didn’t use solar-cell-motion energy or even replaceable batteries? …  Was it the beginning of the end of the oceans? …   What were the handcuffs for?”

“Well the last question is the easiest to answer; people purchased them, put them on when using the hardware, and waited for instructions from on high!”

Gag ball- sorry tar balls

So balls of tar reach a coastline, not far from where a million litre gusher’s happily gushing; and the coast guard says “the source of the tar balls remains unknown at this time,”  which i suppose is good to know that at least exhaustive tests have finally been carried out.

I’d like to suggest the tar balls are actually future tar balls, from future antartican drilling, and have just popped back a couple of years too soon; to help us get to grips with another strata of oceanic pollution, along with the dead zones, plastic zones, hormone replacement zones, as a possibility. 

Saturday, 15 May 2010

Light, in paradise

Just another day in paradise, although technically, this is occurring over stockwell, so that counts as hell.

I’m in a humorous mood, must be the extra inhalation of diesel fumes or the energy from next door.



Wednesday, 12 May 2010

The new dawning

“They died slumped over a keyboard,
they died happy.
Idioms of a new age;
bash, bash, bash...
privacy for the badger!”

Tuesday, 11 May 2010


Hold on, need to find a dictionary…


So obama comes down on the: don’t take the nutters on the web too seriously as there’s a lot of them out there spouting a lot of nonsense, which is just, well, nonsense!

Very true.

But lest we forget governments and official bodies, aren’t exactly renowned for their virgin whiteness and full halooutwiththetruth first-time rings.  Hand on heart all those who believe governments tell everything warts and all?  Indeed, we’re constantly not told things as there’s a belief that if we knew what was going on, all our heads would explode all in one go, or the vast majority would turn on them for holding onto so much for so long.  Instead we’re told that we’re not told for our own good, or the good of national security, or someone else’s good security, or for the benefit of someones over-swelling bank balance; or just in case a group of terrorists decide to swim up the thames, scale the thames barrier and plant slow-release h1n-something that decimates the entire population of the planet.

Sceptical?  You betcha, but open with it and always up for being proved wrong.

There are times when odd thoughts stray across my visual horizon, like when the fringe of any fundamental belief system undertakes thousands of suicide bombings against their own & other perceived enemies, do they really think “yippie, people will come flocking to us and we’ll show them”; or is it someone (dark and sinister) whispering a bit of nonsense in their ear, which they latched onto, which culminates in their demise, after all how much murder mayhem ministrations can people take, even if things are supposedly done for their benefit and all their lobes have been removed?

So the world turns and new things come along to keep everyone on their toes, never a moment to think, except for their hope it will be better in their child's or grandchild's lifetime, something which if we go back through annals of history seems to be just as old a hope as those looking for a good time involving someone from the oldest profession.

If you ask the vast majority of the globes population, whether they want to invade ‘x’, have war against ‘y’ they’ll probably ask ‘why’ and then go ‘hell-no,’ (probably one of the few times i’ll wholeheartedly agree with something said by one of those who rudely twinge the underpinnings of the nutty fringe), unless they’re attacked first. 

Even those who are suffering privations, generally don’t want war, yet war we continuously have, supplied by people and industries & country’s that have outsourced their arguments to those areas far (in the past at any rate) removed from the immediate outraged eye of their own citizens. 

How can they do that? What would they have to gain? When was the last time you saw a world beating major international weapons manufacturer producing the latest and greatest, in let’s say somalia?  The only thing coming from there now is a brief run on bottles of rum, and even that’s now being ransacked.

So why are we always suckered into it, when in the majority of cases these operations are run by people who have never been in war, never had first hand experience of war, who don’t have off-spring in war and if you said front-line would think first of the riots that occurred many decades ago wherever their nearest riot prone place happened to be, i.e., brixton.

It should be mandatory that if you want to call a war you need to have front-line experience, have lost colleagues and friends and experienced the bloodiness, the futility and the loss that war encompasses, unless of course the adversary is someone like hitler where strangely even that regime was funded by the same bankers who funded the other lots efforts - for many years; unless it was a war like that – and with proof – then it would be a no-go, not happening, not this time around, no way, whose name?

But what does this wandering have to do with the wild out-there theories and the net?  Well, it just seems that with various laws already passed enabling governments to pull the plug ‘in an emergency’ on the wildnet, the new copyright law attacks by media congloms and governments in secret, how long will it be, before the internet is just another version of terrestrial/satellite tv, where every click of the mouse produces more or less the same sanitised and censored guff, all the way up to an ‘approved for’ stamp on the porn channel.

At least with the current situation, we know there are those out there who would love to have their own section of the species as the only things inhabiting the planet, to those who believe people live in pebbles on the beach; whatever it is, whatever the belief, at least it can be found, people can see, people can judge, people can even participate; how much more beneficial is that than the sideshows they keep on pointing our attention to, when they could really use current laws to curb, but instead want more laws to simply neuter it.  Unless that is, they’re making millions, billions, trillions out of it.

Basically then, if it’s fun fun fun, you can watch it to your hearts content, go to sleep, work, enjoy some leisure time, procreate and bring up the next einstein or eye-out-tearaway, drool, and watch more fun fun fun, until the next terror-outing/calamity pops along to shake things up.

Fun? Happy watching.

Stopping Smoking Anniversary


The one year anniversary of quitting smoking (apart from one stressed out, abortive, puff and gag attempt around the latter part of 2009), arrived and passed two months ago today, and i’m still waiting to see/feel the benefits.

Since cold-turkey-ing, my skin now alternates between shades of grey and full colour, but that's probably more to do with my "vampiric" lifestyle (i.e. simply keeping out of the sunlight and not actually claiming to be “one of the night”), but  more likely it’s the 24/7 belching pollution that permeates this triangular patch of loveliness.

But for those that experience the quitting process, you know when (after abortive attempts) you have properly quit, as you don’t have that rabid and immediate ex-smoker response when someone around your does light up – karmic peace.  Indeed, when friends complain about smokers, i instantly poo-poo their negativity (see i can be positive and upbeat) and jump to the smokers defence. 

If people cared or knew that much about the harm particles were doing they would be more vociferous in wanting a cut in vehicle emissions (did someone say bloody buses?), and a hiking of tax onto air-travel.

I might disagree with what your spouting and actions your taking, but if your actions don’t harm another (without their mutual consent), or encourage the unaware to harm others, then off you pop;  in the meantime, go vitamin d deficiency!

Monday, 10 May 2010

Blatant lies of TfL, it can't be?

The following was the heading of a document in response to a public consultation about a new route number 324:

"Response to issues raised in public consultation for new route

And tucked away in the document is this little gem.

Noise, pollution and damage to buildings
We do not believe that the proposals will cause significant overall changes to traffic levels, noise, vibration or pollution. Overall, a well-used bus network will have a beneficial effect on the environment by providing an effective alternative to car use. All buses operating on TfL services comply with or exceed the latest European emissions standards. We will use new buses with modern engines on route 324.”

Not cause significant changes?

Hm, having your skull vibrate like a tuning fork  must be normal, wonder why I never noticed that before.  Or not been able to open a window for fear of 20 hours of breathing in belched out bus fumes'; hmm noise, always keen on having a bus driver use their horn 50 times a day – just when you’re trying to concentrate, just so they can say hello or goodbye to colleagues.  Residents? I see no residents.

Since the termini was plumped here we have been subject to practically 20+hours of vibration, pollution, and noise as drivers (enough to seriously make it noticeable) do not bother switching off their engines - despite continual re-assurances by TfL.

So beware.

If TfL want to put a stand in your area, be prepared, for regardless of what they say, due to driver action what you will end up with will be many times worse.

Saturday, 8 May 2010

Hm, gambling the fortune.

Sadly, still nothing concrete on the who’ll be holding the talking stick front, but it looks as though nick will eventually cosy up with david, and all that will happen is the lib-dems will be made to look incompetent, another election will be held in the autumn, and the conservatives will emerge triumphant.

And back to boom then bust, then riots in the streets.

However, if we look back to the last conservative administration, they did perfect the art of selling the family silver (better than brown at flogging  gold), so now they could have the perfect opportunity to go the whole hog and gamble with what's left of the family fortune... 'a' roads, ' b' roads, the unemployed (as a job-lot they must be worth a pound or two), flog the hospitals to the largest health providers, whilst in the ‘cutting cost for the public good’ bring in the american system of healthcare - every man/woman for themselves (with usa health companies who must be on the look out for pastures new to grow their caring considerate health sca- sorry schemes); or, the conservatives could really push the boat out and privatise the electoral system. 

No doubt if it was turned over to the market, just imagine how efficient and productive it would be?

Congratulations to the ferndale labour team for their re-election to office.

Thursday, 6 May 2010

Lecture day




Vote.... vote, vote. Vote...  Vote vote vote vote.

What?  Oh not again!

Tuesday, 4 May 2010


In the sleepless nights of yore, i knew there was something i’d forgotten – and it wasn’t the election after all.



Sleep, who needs sleep?

It's for the weak, for those who need to be subjugated, for those letting the sands of time run through their han-... why's that rabbit hopping across the ceiling...

Monday, 3 May 2010

… and it’s nearly over …

What a busy start to the month this has been, which will no doubt make up for the vast desert expanse of the remainder of the month – unless something else slimes onto the moan-o-meter.

I would have loved to have a gushing report about how, on the last night of merry-making there was no reasonableness and they played louder than ever. 

Actually, for a brief smidgeon of time, it appeared as though they were going to show a semblance and nod to the fact that residents exist.   And until 00:34hrs it seemed to be the case.

Then it hit 00:35hrs and up the levels went.

So I will stick withy my nothing, nada, nought, zilch consideration shown towards resident, shall though call the council but won’t bother asking for anyone to turn up, because by time they do, the volume will be back down again.

Now, where’s my little wheel…



Not another ‘they were so scared out of their wits they couldn’t remember how to park properly in time square (although not sure what the parking restrictions are so could be wittering nonsense), nor mix the correct densities of explosives, nor probably remember that more than one sugar is overkill in a porcelain cup of tea!’

It’s good that no-one was hurt and there was no fireball; but, really.

Sunday, 2 May 2010


Yes, the third night of “nightmare at may mass” is nearly over – queue gushing fountains of blood, screams, creaking undergrowth and a spooky tumbleweed bounding down the street.

So let’s take a spin of the new “wheel of misfortune” to see exactly where our focus lands, before delving into the entrails of the nights dystrophic twilight episode…


… never know, it as after all 22:39hrs and might be proved wrong; but the increasing frequency and loudness of the thud, thud, thuds look likely to disprove that.


Knew i forgot something – there’s an election on.

Well, more a continuation of the same that’s been happening for a few centuries, because regardless of who gets into power the civil servants will be the ones providing the information, the ones providing the collated data gathered from the interested industry pushers who will be munching ears over lunch, or dinner, or at the launch of a new initiative. 

Regardless of who gets in, barring some calamity that always looks as if its about to break and plunge us into headless chicken mode, we’ll continue living in an increasingly shrinking global village, regardless of whether we trade more with ‘a’ or ‘b’, we’ll still be trading with a block that has less concern about their citizen employees, or a bit more concern about their employee citizens; we’ll continue to travel (volcanoes' willing), travellers will arrive (volcanoes' willing), so what exactly will group ‘x’ do apart from tinker around the edges in an attempt to keep as many of us psychotic idiopaths occupied for as long as feasibly possible?

So with good political candor, let’s answer a different question.  What they probably won’t do (delete as appropriate) is:

  • Really pip the poor – there’s not enough prison places to put all the rioters who’ll be up in arms, going french,
  • Excessively pip the rich - and they’ll just snub a took and go elsewhere offering slightly less than zero tax,
  • Pip the middle who’ll boot them out as quickly as they can and not talk to their off-spring whilst waiting in the halls during a break from form c’s theatre evening with parents steaming to to see the master.

So whoever gets in, some group(s) going to get it and be mightily miffed.  In light of that, perhaps it’s time to do something for the planet; for instance have a no car driving week so it can breathe more easily, or not have another species go extinct for ten years for the sake of a pair of shoes or a drawer full of shirts, where light pollution in cities’ reduced to a level you can look up and see more than a dozen stars.  Where we don’t need to buy the latest and greatest “oh it’s so shiny” every six months just out of sheer slavish bored licking, of the hand of ad-dom.

Oh, that and cameron looking like bambi startled in oncoming headlights, brown really reminding everyone of bagpuss with each passing day, and clegg just has too much of that blair tinted colgateness – and look where that ended us; means it is indeed time for a parashift.

Ah there it is.  My wonderful, friendly, green, recyclable solar-powered veg-garden in a window-box, pen.

Two noisy, one more to go!

Yes, this is part two of the three nightmares of may.

Just when, up until 23:32hrs, it was looking so promising; sadly, it just wasn’t to be.  How can I describe it? It would be akin to heathrow throwing open a third & fourth runway, both opened especially for the night time with the loudest planes they could find, with all holding patterns full, all landing slots taken and a stream of buses reaching back to the centre of london, with engines revving fit to bust all the away.

So the club could (for a while at least) keep the noise within levels that didn’t have residents tearing their hair out in frustration, the question is why they don’t do so normally, and then why the council isn’t more proactive in finding out why people are so ticked.

Up until 23.32hrs it was tolerable, then it slowly increased to at 00:30hrs now have the pulsating thud, thud, thud, thudding away, like your own private tuning rave in your front cortex, where, strangely, each thudding tune emanating from those speakers is easily recognisable – something which is part of the environmental subjective “is it loud enough, do we really have to do something?” strategy; so either someone’s left and been seen driving away or it’s been saved specifically for after midnight and beyond, and someone has looked at their watch and gone “oops, time to whack it up”.

No, the whole thing really is a nonsense, they obviously have no consideration towards their neighbours; and just in case there’s a bit of doubt - they really don’t care, they (and this is from the evidence of sitting here and experiencing the noise, the vibrations) shows that really, when all is said and done, they have none, nada, zilch, zero consideration unless it’s the front facing face that’s twice facing backwards.

Screechy! Here screechy screechy.

One has to admire london buses when it comes to bus & station signage and display methodologies, they're a world-beater.

"...signs supplied are to satisfy all relevant European and British Standards and specify precisely the methods of quality control applied in all aspects of the production process...

...the surface finish of the material shall not be punctured by visible fixings, unless no alternative exists, and the panels are to be checked for warping and twist...

...that all product design is a successful blend of economics, aesthetics and functionality with the aim to meet the needs of both customer and operational staff..."

Everything's within a nano-whisker of dimensional perfection, then we have the drivers.

When the temperature hits -5c I can understand the need for engines to be kept ticking; and in the summer, when the temperature hits 40c, for the air-conditioning (although the times in summer when the heating’s on, yet in winter strangely not working’s always a worrying mystery) to be on for them to keep cool. I do understand; and not for a solitary moment am i envisioning sulphurous flames crisping their short & curlies as they’re been devoured from the inside out, over and over and over again, by a basket full of over voracious maggots. No, not thinking anything of the sort…

What I don't understand (apart for the bloody-mindedness part) is why they sit at the stand/terminal with their engines on (despite immaculate signage saying "switch off your engines whilst stationary at the stand", not for 5, or 15 or 30 seconds. But 3, 5, 10, even 20 minutes belching out pollution, and radiating mind jarring low frequency emissions; that is, when they’re not screeching the brakes or tooting horns 16 times per go.

What's that you say?

A dog with a bit between its teeth?

How dare you call bus-drivers dogs, I won't be having any of it. They're earning a living like everyone else, and some of my best friends are bus drivers… but perhaps they're right too, and some do need more training.

Saturday, 1 May 2010


Happy May day!

Picky about noise?

As international noise awareness week ends with the screeching start of a three night 3am ending “rave”, does having to wear ear plugs and headphones behind firmly closed double-glazed windows & doors, and still experiencing the thud, thud, thud reverberating through the cranium - classify the noise and frequencies as being too loud and a nuisance?

Or am i just one of those too sensitive and picky souls, and am actually tossing and turning at this very moment; dreaming that i’m living in a twilight borough, where a church can get hauled to court for playing drums too loudly during the day and is viewed as a greater assault  on the strictures of noise pollution than a club playing deep bass thudding tones that keeps its residential neighbours involuntarily bouncing into the early hours of the day?

What’s that? It’s not a dream?  Oh right, its the never-ending nightmare.

Effing beeps

Stuck in a hole, 
with holes on dryers, 
being eaten alive by moulding damp flies;
with the whistle of engines,
twisting blown cochlea's,
a few notches down,
from a killing spree line.

"But, ne'r mind,"
says the streak of red viscous rust, 
so closely matched,
to gaping wide throats - 
that bubble in bile - 
as the whistle of engines,
and holes on dryers,
convert havens
into tranquil beeps...