Government and "yeehaw" training

In this day and age you would think the governments "joined up thinking" would have a included the sensible approach to making sure the increasing millions soon to hit the dole queues, would be eligible to have training.

You know, to keep their skills up. To ensure that when the country pops out of the depression, we'll be in fighting fit form to take on the world and hold our own with a huge array of newly trained and qualified people champing at the bit with a new found vigour, highly toned skills and boundless reams of energy.

You would have thought!

Sadly, this government thinks otherwise and from september 2009 are bringing in a bizarre system, where they will provide funds for people to be trained. They will actually provide 100% of the funding. But with one small proviso. They will give the training providers 20% of the training costs up front. And then (and here's the kicker) they will fund the other 80% once (so making the magic sum of 100%), the unemployed person has found gainful employment within 6 months of them finishing the training course and been unemployed for 6 months.

So? I hear the cry go up, they're getting training, providers are getting paid?

Well imagine this scenario. You're at work and your bosses come up with a scheme, where instead of you getting paid your monthly salary all in one foul swoop, they give you 20%, and say that if you do a really good job and bring in outstanding results at the 1/2 yearly review stage they'll give you the other 80% of your salary in six months time, if you can keep it up.

Happy with it now?

The governments cack-handed approach to this has of course meant that meaningful providers who would have given the unemployed meaningful achievable training routes back into employment or self-employment, are now pulling out in droves. Leaving the really bad, or the ones who can use this now endless supply of even cheaper labour (as they'll get even more money into their coffers), as the only things left for those seriously unemployed; who could well end up to be a new underclass, permanently pinned on the spokes of poverty.

This might have worked when the economy was booming and bust defeated, and jobs were like confetti on ticker tape day. But in the current cooling clime, it is one of the worst ideas they have come up and stuck with.

Once people realise it, the ranks of the disaffected and jump-shippers could finally become a stampede.

Naturally when it is brought in and fails, they will blame the providers for not living up to the schemes expectations. Instead of them standing up, throwing their hands in the air and just going "yep, we cocked up."

This is nothing but a rear-guard action, by a rear-guard rump of a government, for which everyone else is to blame for everything's that happening, and they happily waft about losing the precious few tenuous grips on reality that they once had.

The one happy thought which trickles through peoples mind is, like dust in a storm, they'll be summarily kicked out of power come the prevailing electoral wind. Will things get any better afterwards? Oh where is my sick bag.

We are interconnected as never before. Our prioritise used to be small; the family, the village, the town, the city, the county, then the country states. But we've reached a stage where what happens on one side of the world, will in seconds impact the another. We have to think of ourselves as global citizens, and not the old insular back-biting, back stabbing, parochial entities of old. We have to go beyond the "every person for themselves" motto as that's plainly failed, in all its iterations.

"We are a species that goes beyond our limitations," says Ray Kurzweil. A shame governments religions, and fundamental fruitbats try to place so many restrictions hindering the pace of change, pace of development and pace of fairness for the whole of humankind.

And talking of wheels coming off wagons. Oh dear. Is this already the start of the end, of the obama love-in?

And in keeping with the time of diy, here's my wee little homage to the season of happiness.

The 44th president - Barack Obama

It's wonderful staying up until the late hours of the morning, watching an historic moment occur in the most powerful democracy on the globe.

The last time something this memorable happened was the sad day of 9/11, when i initially thought it was a trailer for a new movie. 

It seems the species is capable of climbing out of narrow confines, of causing a surprise. Perhaps there is hope.

A somewhat generous (would have gone up a notch if he'd turned on those who'd actually booed) and good, if rather late return of form concession speech by john mccain.  Whose shock and disappointment was palpable.  Maybe he will play a part, of newly refreshed optimism, that people of vision can grasp the thorny prize of breaching party line constraints. 

What can be said about sarah palin! Someone who is even further to the right than uk conservatives, would always be problematic when the majority of voters wanted something different to the previous years.

Oh yes, there's these little things to consider doing for the future.

1. 1st manned mission to mars.
2. 50% carbon emission reductions for the globe.
3. Cleaner oceans.
4. Getting rid of the trillions of dollars poisoned chalice left by your predecessor.
5. Sending pairs of rose-tinted glasses to those republicans who'll never like you, just because of who you are.

Congratulations to president elect obama, and may his tenure be a successful and memorable one.

End of year thoughts, part I

This might be a bit premature, with just over two months to go before the end of the western worlds end of year celebrations.  But with this year been such a roller coaster tsunami of epic proportions; I might as well start early, as by the end of the year there'll be so much to go through, all of this will be past its smell by date and to coin an overheard term well footed in its grave.

So here's a pre-emptive look-back boot at 2008 and early glimpse of 2009, in easy digestible bite sized instalments.

1. Greed good universal altruism bad, according to a newly unearthed bankers bible found in the wreckage of a discarded filling cabinet atop the newly discovered office waste mountain.
2. Our god is god.  There is no other god, and we'll kill any [put expletive group name of non-believers here] who say otherwise.
3. New breakthrough in human cetacean communication means humanity, for the first time, is able to communicate on a like by like basis with dolphins.
4. The HIV virus could have been around for 100 years.
5. Pro-lifers call for the branding and salting of abortionists.  Always forgetting that nature/god is the biggest killer of the unborn via miscarriages, diseases etc., although if they miscarried that's obviously the work of [put name of any evil entity here])
6. Gays are an abomination and blight on the planet.  UN supremo tells the world, 'the way the global population and resources are going we probably need more of them not less of them!'.
7. South Africa lost a president and loony health minister.  Sadly, the replacement president is hours away from splitting the party and plunging the country into chaos.
8. And continuing on in that part of the world.  Huggable mugabe looked as if he was back to his old tricks, but an unforeseen end of year heart-attack finishes him off, leaving his party in disarray, demoralised and without a heart.
9. Surfers in californa say they'll strike if dolphins are given entry to the next mavericks annual surfing competition, citing unfair competition.
10. The northern hemisphere's gripped in another calamity, as temperatures plummet, and already scandalous energy prices really go through the roof - pensioners take the streets but have to picked out of meter sized snow drifts by the newly formed homefront brigade.
11. Bright lights of unknown origin in the night skies cause rioting in many parts of the world.  Religionists say it's the end of days and a sign of the apocalypse.  Secularists say, it's obviously little green/red/blue men and they're here to welcome us into galactic civilisation.  Cats look up, then get back to the important task of licking their bottoms.
12. Just in.  Taleban have retaken most of afghanistan, give inhabitants of Kabul seven days to surrender; puts newly elected us president to the test.
13. UK government has a day of mourning for the millions of dead pensioners.  Commissions a £15m commemorative statue for whitehall.
14. Inline with the continuing brown legacy of hiving off good bits of the economy to the highest bidder, it's confirmed that great britain shall from 2020 be re-branded little china (gb division).
15. In relation to the previous entry, it's also been announced that everywhere inbetween offa's dyke and the irish sea, or wi's dip, will be called new-kong-a-leeky; whilst everything north of hadrians wall [or the little wall of china] will be designated, a parking lot.  Haggisnest soup is the new spicy delicacy in upmarket chinese restaurants.

Who knows, with all that's happened so far they would all fit in perfectly.