Tuesday, 29 December 2009

The one day...

No buses polluting the air with revs, vibrations or fumes, no queues for thudding ear-splitting events "tossing the casket" with split pressure bangs, no relations nor relatives nor dogs slippering the streets, no cooking nor been cooked for bent double in the eve, no music, no crackers, in fact nothing pulled at all, no rubbish tv, no presents to open and say "thank you," before taking them back, no watching presents being opened and seeing them thinking of taking them back, no hordes of boy/girl racers outdoors, christmas in its own strange way is the most perfect day of all.

For a hermit.

Monday, 28 December 2009

Spiriting future

Day rotates thru night and the quiet, sulkily departs,

but, before the frost begins,

a screech rents the air.

"Punta. You tart," splits the silent night in twain.

When did I start dreaming in Spanish?


And i'm aroused...

To find the windows slight crack's filtering sounds,

no longer braced by fully formed foam.

A girl/wife/missus in flagrante with a brother/father/son's been found?

Then, as the fallen plug's popped, the last few hours skid,

into a filed abyss late 20 10,

riding blossoming morning sun.

Sunday, 27 December 2009

Spiriting pasts

As 'mentalists in uganda pick up the cudgels and banners of hate, for the sake of "what is right", the ghost of amin past spins, if only half approvingly, in the knowledge a destructive legacy's still on the path.

Friday, 25 December 2009

Merrymass messages

In today's world you can't change your mind - changing your mind shows indecisiveness, caving in, being supine, falling under a guise, being a ditherer, neither martha nor arthur, in the air, air-head, wishful thinker; whilst going from birth to death in randomly different ways (even though on that final day our bodies slowly decay into worm food or take the quick flash-burn into energised atoms) is akin to a cardinal sin (to borrow from the floweriness of the rosary convention) unless, of course, you have the ability to snook-a-took at the mores, conventions and chains that tie you into our modern-cohesive-social-inequality prisons which dictate that you're doing okay, or will be okay, just as long as you put these blinkers on and don't deviate to far against the norms; sure make billions but don't obviously rip too many people off, or if you do (and get caught) don't look too smug; yes in the name of profit screw those far poorer just to cream that extra one tenth of a hundredth of a thousandth of a percent to show your competitor (or fellow presidents) who rules the roost, after all its only lip-service cutting the ribbon then adding an extra swiss zero: before flowing on to say things will get better as communities the world over cling to unending years of indentured hopefulness.

Oh, nearly forgot.

Merry cmas one and all.


Thursday, 24 December 2009

Taxing happiness

It's amazing how people are quick to accept the worst (when it concurs) with what they expect, yet you can talk till your blue in the face and they just won't believe - but tell them what it is they wish to hear (true or false) and they'll hang onto those slivering scintillas like words of laws etched in stone.
So it was with the failed copenhagen climate summit - no really it was a momentous failure. We can already see the next bubble finding its feet, testing its bonds, flexing its teeth, as it will (in time) be another global behemoth added to the bills that we pay through sites which will have passed the veterinary test of anodyne inanity especially when they come to fully opening for your loyal injection or compulsory patriotic voluntary vote.
But things really go down hill after you pick the wrong contestant to win in the national v-factor, and you only evade communal-sanction by correctly placing your "x" next to the "correct" overlord in the nepac elections. Not to worry. Everything will be hunky everything will be dory; but above all, everyone will be happy!


Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Passion and drama

A while ago, many years in fact, an advert used to run on terrestrial uk networks, in the papers, on the tube from a company whose brand has gone the way of many an old-world dinosaur institution (either been taken over or had a name change), saying “we never make a drama out of a crisis!”

It would seem that in the todays world things no longer need to be at crisis levels, before baby, bathwater, entire bathroom's pitched into the event horizon of despair by a misheard word, a misunderstood phrase, or just an "i" that haplessly wanders out of place.

Now though, we're conditioned upon hearing the words "terrorist" or "pedo" or (for those across the pond) "socialist", for the terms "no smoke without fire" or "they wouldn't go after anyone with proof" or "didn't know him/her/them well, they kept themselves to themselves" and so on, into mistakenly believing the kitty litter we're fed as being the only truth, the total truth and so true that nothing else can ever be true that contradicts what we've been told; otherwi- beepbeepbeepbeep...


Sunday, 13 December 2009

Stools of wrath

The uk government's recently (couple of days ago) been accused of treating religions like a problem?

  • Pilgrim fathers
  • Catholics vs. protestants
  • Missionaries (destroying other people beliefs and ways of life)
  • Jihads
  • Crusades (for bits of parched land)
  • Dunking stools
  • Stonings
  • Cutting off of hands
  • Human sacrifices
  • Inquisitions (of which the current pope b has more in common with the fourth innocent pope than with one leg of the trinity)

Maybe the government should tag the belief in religions as a form of delusional insanity, which like drugs (ecstacy, prozac, ritilin, cocaine) help to keep people happy and wide swathes of populations contentedly subdued until they need to be roused to a wrath for the next cause.

And yes the "secular" (global grouping) side has had its fair share of over-exuberant proponents, but they tend not to keep hostilities going millenia in, millenia out.


Monday, 30 November 2009

Blasting the cobwebs of history?

The saying goes; "those who forget history are bound to repeat it," and i know there's something at the edge of my consciousness that just refuses to go away or clarify!

Something various parties (judging by the amount of column/pixel inch coverage) due the rapidly approaching election seem to have forgotten - even when those inches refuse to add anything towards a good sound-bite. Whichever hue of government comes in there'll be a surprising development (whether home or abroad) that will mean a sharp decrease in our security and so our already harshly trammeled privacy, more regulation adding to the over burdened law books, more (but at least greener) taxes to ensure that the children's children children might have a hope of staring up at a clear cloudless blue sky without the fear of been burnt to death by the combination centuries concentration of pollution and more activity from our star.

But there'll be so many laws that the conservatives (barring a major upset in the prediction stakes) will have to repeal in relation to the few the labour government actually allowed that it will be the 3rd to 4th year sitting that we'll see how "fundist" the righters will be once they finally oust the young pretender in favour of someone more frightening than tebbers ever was in his prime!

Ah yes, the one thing history teaches us is that regardless if there's the poll-upset to unseat all poll-upsets and either the liberals or greens manage to get their hands on the mace, in the end we'll still be at the whim of global trade routes, traders and financial centres - otherwise known as jungles.


Saturday, 28 November 2009

Blagging the hack

It would appear that the us is conducting two differing types of reactions to unauthorised intrusions from unauthorised personnel into sensitive areas of power.

On the one hand we have gary mckinnon with (all those years ago) his search for ufo's and those hiding them, who has been hounded by the american justice department for peeking (and hence showing up the lack of security) into the drawers of nasa the pentagon..., and on the second hand two people (tareq and michaele salahi) who fooled security to enter (what should have been) the most secure conscious dinner/party room on the planet, well perhaps apart from the one surrounding laden.

Maybe we'll see if the same or similar rules apply and with so many of the "great and good" gathered in one place providing such a security target, to show how dim a view such behaviour is viewed in, whether the pair will be dragged into the spotlight of incarceration until admitting their "obvious guilt" and showing up the general incompetencies surrounding the security involved with the protection of vips for the next decade or two will probably slip into the "whatever happened to" department.

Friday, 27 November 2009


The ability to predict, like alchemy, is something of a holy grail which has been sought all throughout the recorded mists and depths of hoary time; after all he (or she) who could predict the future as well as changing crabby dirt into the most precious of gold, would control the reins of power and have an easy life - even if having to watch your back for the knife.

Sadly, the ability to predict the winner at the 15.10 race at kempton by taking a wild guess based on whether a horse has a particular letter in its names; but you have never seen a race, let alone any of the horses in the race is the same as predicting when/if/how/why you will fall in/over/out (whilst wondering what those effervescing electrons actually do whilst cascading down the pathway towards that ethereal social meme) of love and predicting (for a year) all of the world's lottery games lottery numbers correctly.

Now where did i put my 50 year predictions... oh bugger!

Thursday, 26 November 2009

All thoughts

All thoughts, whether skipping around a meadow under a lightning-tornado-rain sodden ridden sky or the thoughts/image of blood spewing from someone's decapitated head by a passing helicopter as they practice acrobatics helter-skelter down a skiing slope; are all images and thoughts which are put down and filed away for potential future use, under the headings of you never know.

But many of them are simply that, idle thoughts and will eventually dissipate to the back of a filing system, or (if you've got a dreadful memory like mine) dissipate from mind and may at some far flung time in the future when only a smidgen of a sliver of the original thought will remain, and be forever lost as to its relevance. In many respects having that occur i believe is a very good thing, at other times it could be viewed as bad. Imagine remembering everything you've ever thought about whether for a fleeting second to that opus taking chunks of years at a time.  It would be the equivalent of never deleting anything (files, programs, data) from a hard drive whilst adding to it daily and expecting it to still work flawlessly and as speedily as the first day you brought it, 20 years later.

As I always say though, wouldn't it be a dreadfully boring world if we were all the same, did all the same things, thought exactly the same, and all wore the same - well that's today's thought; attack of the clones, eat your heart out.

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Agreeing to disagree?

Has the art of discussion gone so far out the window that the ability of agreeing to disagree has swiftly flowed out with it?

It would appear so.

If you are constantly informed of another persons point of view, yet don't want to accept their point of view is true because it doesn't coincide with what you believe or want; it doesn't make their thoughts or views false. Just different to yours, and part of the agreeing to disagree process.

We can think of gorbachev and reagan, two past leaders who encompassed distinctly disagreeable extremes, yet managed to agree on many things whilst disagreeing on some fundamental ones.

I wonder if there would be far less hate and violence if more people, who didn't agree, acknowledged and were able to get on whilst still disagreeing?

Who knows, only time will tell.

Monday, 23 November 2009


Ah the hunt for the holy grail, of finding other planets we can go (well those wealthy enough and with a sense of frontierism) and colonise to — over time — turn into a dump similarly to the one we're currently forcing a bodged diy work over on.

Maybe, when are able of treating this planet with sufficient care and attention, and are capable of controlling our needs wants and desires, then perhaps (and only perhaps) we’ll be ready; as things stand now it would be a sad day for the universe if we ever made it to the stars without managing to restrict those needs. 

Eventually even a universe wouldn't be big enough.

Tuesday, 17 November 2009


"Bah-humbug, i'm sorry we can't select you."

"But why?  I'm qualified, tick all the boxes, in fact i’m overqualified!  Married!  Three beautiful children!  I-i-i don't understand!"

"Well we've gone through the records and, it appears, that your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather, called the chairman's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather an idiot, after he fell into a ditch whilst inspecting the village turnip patch!

Sunday, 15 November 2009


“Like dodgems, people bounce from one side of the track to the other, not really caring why, nor understanding why they continually become unstuck in bogged down topographical detritus.”

Saturday, 14 November 2009


In the age of pico-second trades, sound-seconds and the like, it's interesting watching a president take his time in making a decision, get it wrong in any way and it's another couple of nails in his presidential coffin; whilst the media circus continues its exorcist — or is that exocet — foaming.

Could this mean that we have to expect a little bit more than the usual knee-jerk rebound we have become so used to over the past couple of decades?

That would be nice.

But no matter what happens, barring total annihilation, people will do what they feel they have to do when they have been successfully brainwashed into a fervent blood-boiling-revenge-driven-rage.

Friday, 13 November 2009

Red brick, yellow brick

People have some land, bricks, a shack to worry about, too much clutter and the additional responsibility of leases, mortgages, long, short and free to think about without having to concern themselves about rebellion. 

Protest yes, but rebel? 

The courts would take away all their trinkets and leave them with nothing but sand and chalk.

Monday, 9 November 2009

Cut them off at the pass!

So the government (lord mandelson) has decided to stamp on more of the damned ungrateful illegally downloading unwashed, by blatant siding with big corporates (pushing for a non-exec at news corps perhaps) and forcing through legislation which will (eventually) penalise 560 million uk citizens — i am using government & industry methods of calculations here so just bear with me — who are thinking bad thoughts, to recant and think good thoughts; if they refuse, they will have their connections to the greater-net removed and they themselves cast into the outer rings-of-darkness until re-education is certified complete.

Oh dear, and yes i know it sounds as if too many c-movies have imprinted themselves on my impressionables.

Hands up all those (those who remember cassettes as the pinnacle of consumer audio technology) who spent time at college or university and tried out that tape your mate had wittily compiled of the best bits from last weeks top of the pops replete with tiny tv speakers hiss as the music warbled through, or they lent you a tape which had those precious fragments ready to speed into your spectrum where you hoped the head alignments would more or less match?  How many, over the years, found themselves on the hugely expensive upgrade path and stuck with it, and now own your own company, buy a huge number of licenses, and each year are told by your accountant it’d be cheaper going down the open-source route?   All because you had that hands-on positive playful experimental experience, all those years ago.

If I were to take the shirt off your back, that's not stealing that's daylight muggery, and would probably leave me with a heart attack and sever ticking off by the law.  If I take your car without permission, that's stealing mixed with daylight robbery, if I get my hands on your hard earned cash as commission or bonus's whilst my action brings down a financial institution, that's just good luck on my part, bad luck on yours. 

But we need public education, because we the public are stupid and never know what's right or wrong unless we have our faces forced into it.  Sort of like t–no i’ll stop right there.  But people are getting screwed because as a population we’re happy getting screwed, because so many of us are screwing everything left, right and centre — good thing for bayonet caps; as that’s where 30 years of me, me, me and markets know best have brought us. 

So as the country with the oldest democratic (sic) parliament goes down the great wall route, let’s hope that it isn’t too long before programmers rise to the challenge and create software that will truly blow a raspberry along with a great big hole through it and keep us out of orwellian brothers clutches, at least for a few more years!

Now where did i put that nice post…

Sunday, 8 November 2009

The bloomberg soft shoe shuffle

Michael bloomberg holds an impressive list, a large fortune, rapier insight into making money and is also very generous in his giving to charity.

Generous?  $207mn in giving.

Which works out at roughly a quarter of his annual interest of roughly $1.18bn, on his fortune of $17.5bn — in theory, since it seems I  know as much about his finances as I do about mine, thankfully very little.

But it wouldn’t surprise me he gets a good deal, after all he managed to get new york to change a two year maximum term mayoralty to three terms, a feat he shares with others who hunger after power in less savoury climes, so time will tell, if he not only wins, but how his extended reign benefits all new yorkers.

Saturday, 7 November 2009

Green credentials, ha... haha... hahahahaha....

I was so underwhelmed by my previous post on tfl i had to pay the topic another visit, and throw in the local council at the same time.

Over the past couple of days i have been mulling over the transport for londons 2008 environment report".  A report which opened up to reveal a beautifully put together, laden with all the proper buzz words, 30 page report about how green they have been, are being and will be, covering a fully-proofed 365°future.  So green and aware, they even disabled the pdf printing ability, so if you wanted a copy you had to whizz off and order and then wait for it to be delivered by carbon friendly post, hm ok. 

Millions have and will continue to be spent on greener buses, of coming up with wonderful new environmentally friendly ways of scratching their heads, working out how to reduce the impact on the coughing and choking land.

One way, which may save a few hundred or thousand tonnes of toxic emissions daily, would be to have bus drivers turn off their engines when using terminus’s.  Amazing, simple, even easy (you would have thought) to implement — if drivers can remember a whole route then you would have thought that the probability of remembering a command (from the non-driving higher ups) to switch off an engine when at a stand might stick for more than two trips around the route map, in a pavlovian kind of way — something that would, within days, start to improve their monstrous footprint and contribute to a reduction in the city’s level of noise and air pollution — apparently the 13th leading cause of death.

As the tfl energy pledge went on to say: “the initiative encouraged staff to make one simple change to their working lives to help reduce the amount of energy tfl uses…” which is all well and good for head office staff, but it might have proved far more useful had it been applied across the entire frontline operation of their buses division.

And the council?

“Nothing to hear here. Noise, I hear no noise ta-da-de-da.  Just your imagination.”

Hm, still underwhelmed, might have to put an illustration up the next visitation.

Wednesday, 4 November 2009


Well if mountain glaciers continue retreating, sea-levels rise and we're all punting everywhere, i do hope we get to use climate-deniers and energy company executives as ballast; and if they prove to be correct they can use those of us gullible enough, to fall for the line climate change, as benches.

Tsk, as if the climate would ever change to severely affect us.

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

The bad in everything?

Despite most posts pointing to the contrary, I don’t see horrible vileness around every corner or in every situation that flashes before my senses, there’s lots to be happy about, to smile at, to enjoy — despite the newly perched mongers: doom and gloom, even when i’m frothingly aiming at feralality & feralism, because we haven’t emerged (all of a sudden) out of misty depths, from a time that embodied everything that was wonderful and fantastic, a procession highlighted by aimless walks amongst avenues filled with soft-petaled roses, with nothing greater to tax than mind than whether to press — or not — on a grape; but, as any cursory glance through our history readily reveals, there has never been a period when utter peace and limpid harmony reigned over the globe, ever.

What was a cut-purse?  Nothing but a pickpocket with knife, whom we now label muggers that are now, sadly, just as happy confronting you whether you’re paying attention or not, in a general air of merry-making bloody-mindedness, ensuring you know that you’ve been done

A highwayman?  A man or men on horses who would hold up your carriage, shot your driver, rob your jewels, your mistress, and if your loot was heftier than a silver purse (or was that a sow) would use your carriage as the getaway vehicle and all with the use of pistols.  Today, we call them car-jackers, who’ll not only rob you of your car, but your shopping and if your unlucky enough to have baby onboard, then poor baby too.

You were also more likely to have your money fleeced in a local protection racket, a business deal, gambling, investing in tulips with scant recourse for any return except revenge on a field of valour in a duel that had already been tampered with, whilst sexual mores had the tendency of landing you with either a child or a pox.  People were likely to die if wounds became infected, of a childhood illness, women in childbirth, of a fever...

The explosion in population’s due, in no mean part, to the explosion of ‘biotics, better and varied foods, cleaner water all increasing the survival rates in many parts of the world of not only the young and the old but of everyone.

Don't forget it wasn't exactly hundreds of years ago that children were sent into mines or mills to work from the age of six.  The elderly would be shuffled off somewhere to die of malaria and those in-between caught in some continent waging war or off conquering lands by evicting the former tenants.  So despite things not been as "perfect" as we'd like, there’s only ever been a few, who have ever had life that easy, I suppose they would (by todays standards) be the multi-billionaires.  The multi-millionaires would be the scrooges and his peers, and those non-million anything would be the tiny tims, olivers, cooks and chimney sweeps coughing up their last bit of ragged bloodied sputum, before been slowly broiled after getting wedged and left forgotten, in some two-up during mid-swing.

Monday, 2 November 2009

Sunday, 1 November 2009

More funds

We need more funds to stop us becoming obese, to stop us over-eating and killing ourselves; please stop and think of the children, and donate your hard-earned money, so we can help prop up local candy stores and stop anyone else from gorging themselves on all those bad calories; which you know — in the end — will be better for us, better for them, but more importantly better for you!

Yes, carbon tax trading. 

Soon to be followed by a whole new raft of the-really-decent-thing-to-do-climate-bonus levies.  Of course it’s really nothing but a nonsense.  Another money making scam that ensures the only real change to the status quo, is the one leaving you lighter in the purse. 

At this very moment, every house or community could have solar, wind, geo, biomass energy systems installed that would cut their dependence on fossil fuels and so their emissions.  Not only that, it could even furnish stakeholders with a small steady profitable stream of income, as they pump any excess back into trimmed down national energy grids.  The acreage is available, people want it, efficiencies would improve over time. One glaring thing which could be a reason the full thrust into this land of energy independence is chugging away slower than a eurostar during a french farmers strike, is politicians and industrials haven't quite finalised how they are going to make the people & communities, who produce their own power and energy, pay "that damned levy" to make up for the global billions they stand to lose; as peoples shackled dependence on external energy sources, production, transmission routes start to diminish over months and years. 

I suppose its something that would be viewed with the same level of sneering as an uprising demanding the removal of vat on everything, with a clause inserted, insisting that moody recreationals be made mandatory — just to help us feel that little bit better about the whole thing.

But i'm sure somewhere along the line, they'll find a way.  Especially if a company like royal dutch shell, that made $3.2 billion (net profit mind not gross), still finds the need to cut 5,000 jobs for "productivity" sake, what hope will there be for small energy producing stakeholders once the fossil-giants and poketpols swivel benighted sights on them?

Saturday, 31 October 2009

Wonderful day

Such a wonderful day, i had to sit down after realising it was 16:15hrs and I hadn't complained, about anything!

Need a stiff drink— oh wait, i've stopped drinking...

Bloody binge drinking alcoholics ruining everything.  Throwing up in gutters, in bins on you.  If they can't handle their alcohol, they should go back to liquor drinking finishing school and start building up to teaspoon sized...

Friday, 30 October 2009

UK inflation — 35%

Ah yes the headline grabbing kicker, let met explain.

35% is how much the cost of a good nights sleep has increased by, if you’re dependent on a steady supply of earplugs to keep 22hr noise at bay.  So sadly nothing about hotel chains, or the H1 virus affecting the supply of geese or ducks, mortgages or rpi basket which contains most of the things lots of people don’t actually buy, but the simple local supply of earplugs. 

Yes that stalwart mainstay of many noise challenged whingers has increased in price by a whopping 35%, in one foul swoop, to an outrageous £2.29p.  Which means a years supply has increased from £87.88 to £118.64p.  Inflation busting indeed.

A years supply? 

Those living in noise blighted environs will know exactly what it is I’m muttering about.  The sort of place where no matter the time of morning, afternoon, evening, or night — strangely though excluding christmas day, the noise is sufficient to keep your nerves on permanent inflation-35pcentblood boiling saw meets freddy edge.  

So what should the headline kicker actually say?

Earplug inflation in a pharmacy somewhere in the uk’s sw2 postal area, is up by 35%.  As true and accurate as that is, it just doesn’t have the same bite.

Thursday, 29 October 2009



One day you get into a conversation with a complete stranger, and in passing mention that you believe there could be/has been/is/will be, life elsewhere in this universe; life that exists on at least one other planet circling amongst the trillions of stars, within the billions of galaxies expanding ever outwards, in this marvellous expanse of wonder we love to call home; then a high percentage of those complete strangers — on this particular spinning ball of blue-green luminescence which has (over the eons) contained a morass of life, will laugh at you and walk away shaking their heads in disbelief, wondering how anyone could be so foolish.

Very strange.

Before you dismiss their short-sightedness (or my stupid naivety) however, ask as many people as you feel comfortable asking, how many of them wholeheartedly believe in god(s), angels, demons, the devil, a higher force, a lower force or that crock with a pot of gold.  Then, once they nod or shout to the rafters that they indeed do believe, ask them how many times they have seen or heard or had two-way communication with 100% certainty, hand on heart, “yes it was” said entity!

If they don’t hesitate before hitting the affirmative, use that special speed-dial number for the sanatorium and watch as their surprise proudly transfigures into spluttering disbelief as they’re carted off for a good long cooling down stretch.

But with potential planets (whether habitable for us or not) probably numbering in the billions, I think there is something out there, whether at the mindless microbial level or the highly millions-of-years-more-advanced-than-us level and we’re actually in a part of the universe they’ve penned off and designated as a zoo; which, for some bizarre reason, is the one idea which fills me with the sort of desire that would have me wheeled off for my own safety, as I start to roll around banging on the floor in hysterics. 

Perhaps if more of us looked up at a clear night-time sky and managed to see the spectacular star strewn ribbon of stars that is our own milky-way backyard, maybe then we’d have a greater appreciation that there is more to experience, more to see, more to positively hope for than our normal isolistic, inwardly gazing, navel-centric point of view, usually allows!


Segway one.

If you were party to a nasty vicious attack on your home, your property, your loved ones and you had the money, wouldn’t you go as far as possible to not only find out who perpetuated the crime, but “why?”   Then fall savagely onto the next stage finding out what you could have done to prevent it and take action to the fullest extent ensuring it would never ever happen again? 

Of course you would.

So you would have have thought that a government would turn heaven and earth (I can see by that glazed expression starting to fog your forehead that you know where this is going), spend huge sums of money finding out exactly what went wrong and doing all the other things an individual would do?  Of course they would, except if that could expose to the light of day a potential dirty underside to 9/11.

enquiry costs plus or minus 100% accuracyAfter thousands died, with not one hijacked plane intercepted or shot down, with over 15 military exercises running on that day, how much was actually spent on finding out what went so tragically wrong?  About $15 million dollars.  How much did the  senate spend trying to find out why monica’s knees were dirty?  About $50 million.  How much was spent on the space shuttle columbia enquiry?  About $157 million. 

Let me say again.  The greatest act of terrorism ever to be perpetrated on the ‘land of liberty, the land of the free’, merited only $15 million for an open and shut enquiry. 

And, to add more petrol to the inferno (if any were needed), there has never in the entire history of recorded catastrophes, with so many mangled bits of wreckage and twisted pieces just waiting to be minutely poured over; been such a rapid dispersal to smeltering plants around the globe, of as much evidence as this.  In relative terms, it was quicker than a corpse been hoiked from a murder scene a second after the coroner’s arrived; in case the body decomposes to quickly.  Tell that to people and you’ll generally be met with a blank look zipping from one part of their insides to the other, just waiting to connect to a spare none pre-programmed thought, before they roundly denounce you as an agent of all that’s unholy and in league with socialist scum just waiting to bring everyone down to the levels of animals, after you’ve had your wicked way with them!   Which is just a little bit to harsh a reaction when all that’s required is full and frank openness.  But as we’ve learned over centuries let alone decades, the terms “full”, “frank” and “government” don’t usually inhabit the same orbits.

What about the uk?  We have more cctv’s dotted around taking videos and pictures than any other country on the planet — including the repressive, dictatorial ones.  You would have thought with all that surveillance, as well as beat walkers, car drivers, bike riders, special constable dispensers that the crime detection and arrest figures would have made dixon of dock green spin like a dynamo with pride and terrorists arrested within a whisper of breathing a few molecules of c4.  Strangely there’s been nothing of the sort.   Even on the 6th may 2009 when a question in parliament was asked…

Mr. Evans: To ask the Secretary of State for the Home Department how many (a) arrests, (b) prosecutions and(c) convictions have been made under the (i) Terrorism Act 2000 and (ii) Terrorism Act 2006 in each year since their implementation. [272196]”

the reply came back.

Mr. Coaker: The information requested is not currently available…”

hansard/uk parliament

Which for a government so caught up with league tables, spin tables, finding the best day to camouflage the worst news, is akin to finding out that one of your ancient school diner ladies, really doesn’t know how to cook lumpity custard!

Because you know that if they had 100% cast-iron, irrefutable evidence, it would have been cawed from the apex of parliaments rafters about how wonderfully successful the many rafted citizen reducing anti-terrorism barrage measures have been.  But it’s been somewhat silent on that general topic; either that or i have simply been looking in all the wrong pages. 

So what about other measures?

There are now over 500,000 communication (phone and email) intercepts by various uk authorities on the country’s citizens every year, just in case some of those bad apples are thinking disturbing and disruptive thoughts before putting a brick through a window, or stoop to nicking (thefting) a chocolate bar (worth 50p) so forcing the heavies to spend £20,000 in costs, bringing the case to court!

People who diddle the welfare state out of £2,000 are fined and given a record (as they should), diddle over £10,000 and they're more likely to be clamped in irons for half a year if not longer and their assets seized — as they should be.  But work in the city and cock something up in the name of trying to make a whopping profit, and not only are you more likely to keep your all-gotten gains (unless you really push the boat out and swindle for two-fingered billions), you'll be head-hunted to repeat the trick of bankrupting your company or at the very least working your way to a position of bringing the nation, the nation’s economy and if you can feasibly help it, the global financial system, crashing to the ground.  If that fails, and you just don’t have what it takes, there's always a post in a quango waiting to be filled, so cushioning the hardship of the feral world outside.

Population and global wealth division, plus or minus 100% accuracy

Segway two*!

In 2008, 1,125 people in the world were worth an estimated $4.4 trillion.  Of those, the top 50 had 18% of all those lovely noughts, or just a bit over $792 billion (with the top 3 at about $114 billion).  In comparison, the bottom 1,000,000,000 had a net worth of about $365 billion.  Or, to put it another way, 1 billion people on the planet were (by 2008 market valuations) worth less than half the accumulated wealth of the worlds richest 50 people.  Who said free markets don’t work?  They’ve been working perfectly and doing the job they were meant to, for years.

And so, onto… 


Segway three.

Hm, climate change!  Does it really matter if we've caused it or we’re just helping along a natural process?  At the end of the day we'll still be affected.  We'll still need some effective way to alleviate effect the entire gamut of change will have.  How many of us — apart from the tin-foilers — have food to last more than a week, who have enough food to last for years, let alone months?

When transportation systems, routes, food production areas, are severely disrupted or even TinFoilHatAreadestroyed through weather events, how long will food stocks last?  One week?  A month?  How long before rioting starts?  You only need to mention the possibility of oil refinery workers going on strike, or oil tanker drivers putting weights on brakes, for people to go mad on stocking up and fighting to get the last item on shelves.

The arctic is acidifying and is now (according to estimates from the university of alaska) 25% more acidic than 300 years ago, as coastal living inuits start abandoning villages as their land transforms into mushifrost.

Things are happening. 

Indeed things always happen, it just depends on the rate of change.  With this (so far) not been on the scale of the fictional piece “the day after tomorrow”, which if things were to occur at that pace would — for a while anyway — have lasered all our attention; but drip-by-drip, all around the world, lots of record-breaking weathery events just keep on occurring.  Whilst each and every minute of each and every passing day, we continue to generously pump more and more of the environment changing stuff into the atmosphere, worlds oceans and seas.

Yes things are changing, let’s hope our ability to adapt changes just as swiftly, so avoiding a seamless calamity of homosapien proportions.

For those whose knowledge of science is stretched by the “mint in a coke bottle” experiment, believe whatever you want to believe, but always try to ascertain evidence on your physical plane that bears it out, bearing in mind that experiencing something outside of your cumulative experience will immediately be coloured by what you know, what you think you know, your beliefs, your mindset and even by what your peers believe.

How many of us are going to visit alaska over a twenty year period to monitor and see the results for ourselves?  Or take out a trusty little chem-kit to test for changing ph levels of seawater, or even regularly monitor the air we breathe — freely flowing around our own back yards? 

Segway all over the place.

Maybe cod and haddock fish stocks aren't in major decline after all and we can continue fishing them like there is no tomorrow.  I’d so prefer that scenario, as after trying pollock, i’d rather eat slices of old shoe leather that had remained mouldering at the bottom of a compost heap for an epoch; before having another bite of those chewy offerings. 

Maybe buildings could incorporate tower high aquariums with 200m+ drops — full to the brim of lovely tasty fish, all ready for frying and eating — whilst acting as giant recycling & solar filtration facilities.

It seems the only other living things which appear to be adapting and contentedly thriving (from reports and statements), are seagulls, jellyfish, cockroaches, mice, rats, feral cats, feral dogs, mrsa, e-coli, salmonella, feral children and lastly cows, pigs, chickens or sheep because we eat or use them for food or clothing.

Many of us have forgotten that there really is more to life than the treadmill of the headlines.  We've been so successfully conditioned into what to believe that the treadmill is the only thing many of us accept as real, and will even willingly give our lives for.

Oh yes, tinilambliphobia – the fear of coming across a tin-foil wearing rambling nut case.

nb: all figures used in charts are accurate with a –100% to +100% range of deviation. 
* Some figures for segway two gleaned from forbes.com

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Marching productivity

When the last person on the planet becomes superfluous to employability, as machines capable of doing everything take over; what alternative will there be for the 9+ billion inhabitants of bipedal earth caught on the endless cusp of a commercial, political, go-getting, “work is your life” productivity mantra; when the last meaningful jigsaw of hour grabbing necessity is finally handed over to never-weary, 100% self-repairing, bio-mechanical ai’s, leaving the masses with nothing more concrete than a life of dreamful idleness; what will become of the species?

Easy, nannybot will not only take care of little jill & jo — without molesting them, but also look after the needs and welfare of grandpa jack & grandma josephine, whilst making dinner, vacuuming, ensuring the fridge is fully stocked, all home repairs don— damn those jetsons!

Tuesday, 27 October 2009


It’s been a while since last I put thought to fingers and onto keyboard, the realm of sleep kept accosting me and telling me it’s a good thing to enjoy, that and you’ll miss the utter madness that supposedly passes for city living.

It would have been wonderful to write and mean that, instead it’s been a nightmare of wakefulness tangoing with the latest heavy chemical induced beats, with bus drivers who seem to think it’s a good job to test how loud their horns are whilst revving their engines as they’ve obviously just started their shift after just watching saint clarky. Yes not impressed with the academy, or arriva bus drivers or arriva or tfl for that matter, in the slightest.

But now, at this precise moment i’m more sanguine, slightly less heated than normal, my blood pressure back down to only imminently-dangerous levels, i’ve even managed to put finishing touches to a slightly longer, more rambling bit of text that’ll be popping up later.

Till then, keep chuckling.


Friday, 18 September 2009


Lots of blundering ‘ofs’ with rheumy eyes, triple-calcified joints, and a short-sightedness that brings a whole new term to dystopic-malfunctioning.

Ofgem, that toothless parrot of quangos squawks again, and in response energy companies do their usual two fingered dance. 

Good to see markets are working. 

Friday, 11 September 2009


And a whole new range is born with the strap-line, "made, produced, delivered and consumed, free* of carbon - guaranteed!"

* ± 100% carbon removal efficiency

Wednesday, 2 September 2009

Rich poor divide? No way!

Research conducted by martin evans and lewis williams in the department of social policy and social work at the university of oxford that compares the effects of taxes & benefits over time from 1979, 1997 and 2008, has concluded that the rich are indeed richer, the middle class about the same, and the poor even with relatively (although not special) taken into consideration, poorer in 2008.

A summary can be viewed here.

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

Trailer trash

Tired of having shows trailed for new season airings, only to see that the "big-tits" have decided in their usual way that people in a different country/continent can't watch, as they’re still waiting for the electronic transfer from the highest bidder there to flag up. 

It’s so reminiscent of that region 0-5 thing that handicapped (for two weeks) dvd players, that worked out so well.  Sort of telling people for years that “of course dvd’s cost $20 to produce, it’s an expensive process.”  Yes, expensive on their livers.

Have they learnt?  Of course not, but despite the “trillions” they're losing every year due to global piracy and talent draining from the industry, they still have enough billions to spend on films, hundreds of millions on star salaries, have the most lavish parties, awards, hire teams of lawyers, teams of judges, even teams of politicians - scrub that last bit, as we know anything over 1,000 (put your denomination here) is enough to start rubbing that particular shaft of political jiggery-pokery.

So as they still decide that we can watch when they feel we can, or listen to things only when they deem fit, I and I'm sure many others have decided that once that "cannot be viewed or listened to in your country" caption pops up, then on the block list it goes.

"Aren't you just cutting off your nose to spite your face," I hear you ask.
If it's working for the media-tits then there must be something to it. 

So when not wasting my time no longer listening or watching much, where does it all go....


Now where have i mislaid my billions?

Monday, 24 August 2009


Why are we so happy in raising the flag of 'cracy, when all of them are happy allowing billions to be wasted on the growing, wastage and destruction of food, when billions in the world are starving?

Sunday, 23 August 2009


Perhaps the fbi director should look into the great big rendition waving, abuse documented, water-boarding beams that infested the denying eyes and ears of some of his collegial fellow organisations before moaning that not every one subscribes to his "execute them regardless" brand of humanity. 

Maybe the decision did have something to do with trade, or maybe, just maybe it was nothing more than a humanitarian gesture to a dying man who may have been the murderer of so many, if the latter then at least there are candles of hope left in the gathering dark after all.

You kill me, my relatives kill you, everyone hates everyone until the end of time.  A good thing that mentality's been working so well for the middle-east.

If we're supposed to be so much better, why is it so easy to stoop so low?

Saturday, 15 August 2009

Pumping crazy

"Boss its SP!"

"Crap, what does she want?"

"She's got a truckload of hooker moms carrying placards. One of them's even got one saying 'no to death pumps'."

"No, to what?"

"No to death pumps."

"Don't you mean death camps?"

"No, apparently her pumps are really killing her, and it's all your fault!"

Friday, 14 August 2009


"Let the poor go to the dogs!"

"Sorry sir, but the dogs have already eaten the poor."

"Well let dogs have the middle classes and once they've finished with them, we can take back their lands. The ones we haven't bankrupted!"

"Sorry sir, but the middle classes are now the new poor."

"Well, what do you want?"

"As all your assets chased the derivatives market - for the high factor return Sir, I'm here to give you to the dogs."

Tuesday, 21 July 2009

Renewable solar pains

Why, with all that’s sane are we told that once more we will be gouged, but as it happens to be aimed towards the wonderful rainbow of reducing greenhouse gases by embracing renewable boundless sources; we’re to accept it – or else!

Tax airline fuel.  That might help levelling out the carbon expenditure playing field; adding that little bit extra to the greenhouse-gases-plant-a-tree-reduction pot.

Subsidise self-generation by having long term (and that's greater than four years for politicians and one year for bankers) plans:

  • so as many buildings as possible have solar panelling, wind, water wheels installed,
  • sensible and meaningful energy conservation measures introduced,
  • improve the efficiency of industry, manufacturing and products produced,
  • retrofit older buildings to be more energy efficient beyond the silly mantra of “loft installation” and “fill those cavity walls” which have been treading the boards for more than 30 years. 

All those billions made by energy companies could instead be used by politicians to ensure their constituents (all of them) have life's which are contentedly happy, enjoyably fulfilled and fulsomely long.  Although after experiencing ‘hi-jinks’ on the way home from a good cinematic experience - but they’re poor kids so relabelled ‘ferals’, some would probably call for life shortening not extending.

Instead of spending trillions on armaments, governments could spend trillions on radically improving the education, the health, the well-being of their citizens.  Ensuring "everyone" is fed, educated, and housed; there'd be no need to see people on street corners homeless.  But that, no doubt, to the many unadulterated believers out there could be deemed to be the most cardinal of sins - socialism!  Gasp, horror, shock.  Where is that soft spot waiting to catch me should I fall!  Well if that's so, so be it.  Because unfettered capitalism's gotten us precisely where exactly? 

But it's neither socialism nor communism because they too have proven to be busted flushes – those leading the charge strangely having a remarkably materially contented lives whilst the many governed queued for hours for  loafs of mouldy bread, wizened carrots and if it happened to be their lucky day a slightly moist dried prune.  All 'isms' have proved wanting, as all ‘isms’ failed.

Now that little rant’s over, back to solar pains.

We should be well beyond that.  Most major cities - within seven years - should be able to produce as much energy as they consume, if it’s done correctly they could even be net exporters of energy.  30%+ food sufficiency - that'd help with jobs, cut down debt and make people feel more communal without the need to emigrate or immigrate.  Already companies around the world, have developed or close to independently developing thin film solar modules and constantly improving on the 10% conversion factor; which although poor is, considering the short time in production still quite a feat, which can only get better especially with current prices 30% cheaper than ordinary models in the wild.

After briefly hearing, whilst in the dozing position, about companies banding together to build solar power plants in the sahara which would provide all the power europe needed, my first thought was “what's taken you so long?”  My second was, “oh really?”  Then before i realised it, a timeline popped up.


Not long after a couple more thoughts drifted before finally deciding to coalesce.  This then set me wondering how the spatial availability of flat-roofs would look like over London.  So with the aid of google earth, and bits of shady green, a few ideas for further imagery dumped themselves into my cell.

Were to start?  How much space?  I quickly decided on a patch of london roof not to far away, drew a border with yellow lines & red squares and used that as my base roof. 

The measurement for that particular patch (not forgetting this is done using a satellite imagery, dodgy mouse and googles earth measurement tool) came out to 103.9 meters, which - with some bad basic mathematics – gives a potential coverable area of around 860m². 

I’m estimating 18 flats for this particular block.  Namely three floors, each comprising of six flats.  


(map images courtesy of google earth)

So far, not to bad. 

Before zooming out (and i’m sure that some clever person will write an algorithm that works out - in an instant, those areas which are flat or south-facing slanted roofs and not roads, nor parks, nor oceans, and create layers in either google or bing)  we can see how many flat roofs are in the image by giving them a slight green tint, like…


(map images courtesy of google earth, fizzy green bits me)

Which brings the flat surface area of the roofs of a small number of properties to a little over 3,472.5m².  If that 3,472m² was covered with panels of only 10% efficiency, it would provide about 138.88 kW/hr.  My average daily usage per month (with washing machine, dishwasher, fridge, computer etc.,) is  4.6321 kW/day.  Which means, that taking a potentially totally sunny blue-skied six hour period that the installation would be chugging away for, could provide 833.28 kW.  Or, using my usage as a benchmark, the installation could sluice through enough power to juice 180 flats, let alone the miserly 72 which are indicated in the picture above.  If, my sums are correct.

Things look even more amazing at a height of 488m,


(map images courtesy of google earth, fizzy green bits me)

at 805m,


(map images courtesy of google earth, fizzy green bits me)

at 1.63km,


(map images courtesy of google earth, fizzy green bits me)

and look at all those empty flat roofs, doing empty flat nothings, not even including slanted roofs with south facing exposures.  Just imagine whether its water or electricity how much could be saved.  But no, lets build really out of the way huge windmills at the cost of billions and not really bother about the estate immediately usable on our doorstep – well rooftops.

Then at 3.23km,


(map images courtesy of google earth, fizzy green bits me)

Finally way up and out there at the dizzying distance of 71.360km (or from here to calais), the little red dot is all that remains of those roof tops in the expanse that is greater london. 

Just imagine how much energy could be generated and how much money saved by residents and businesses alike, if a 10th of those roofs had some sort of solar, wind  or - if over westminster - hot air capture!


(map images courtesy of google earth, green bits me)


On a slightly different note, mid-july has now louched past, and all seven horse-chestnut saplings are still growing and growing strongly.  


With a couple hopefully headed for open prairies over the next few weeks, all that’s now required is to divide and replant the remainder into individual pots; some gift wrapping and the perfect instant environmental present that provides years of conkers or roasted fun is only four short months away, unless the blight finally gets them.

Pak Choi


The pak choi sliced top I saved and stuffed into water then soil, has brightly flowered (or bolted), and will hopefully produce some seeds since i undertook bee duty using a cocktail stick; and increase my self-sufficiency levels to a full 0.01% approx.  Sadly the thyme twig (which can just be seen on the far left) seems to have mimicked the bonsai, turning into a dead dried twig, which will see the bin in a couple of weeks  if its still minus growth shoots.

Monday, 20 July 2009


For those who find themselves in particular situations seemingly stuck, unable to put one step forward without retracting ten, it doesn’t last forever; nothing lasts forever!

So when this morning i found myself in an exceptionally foul mood, my thoughts alighted on a greg bear character from songs of earth & power - a damned good read. The one who sloughs off the nastiness bubbling through his being, onto as many of those susceptible all around him. This (with another missive waiting to fling itself from the wings) strangely lifted my sourness, leaving me in a slightly better mood after I whipped off a couple of emails in complaint.

Obviously, after three years living in an an area that has become disagreeable, its time to spread wings and soar to pastures that are new, relaxing, recuperative, relished by the conscience replacing dud batteries recharging the soul.

update 14:04 — perhaps a dose of hrt & laser precision probing might affect a similar rebalancing?

Friday, 3 July 2009

Another age




"You'll have to pull my eyes out first!"

"Eye puller.  Where is that dammed eye-puller!"

"I am here, your great-superfluousness," the eye puller breathes, slithering from the shadows and causing both men in the cell to jump.  "How can I help?"

"Don't pull my eyes out, I confess," the prisoner screams, shying away from the horror sliding into his field of vision, confronting all he held holy.  "I confess!"

Thursday, 2 July 2009

EDF energy: witless in the wind

It's wonderful having friends in differing economic strata's, cultures, faiths… walks of life; as there’s a sundry of differing obsessions, afflictions, things strange and quirky that affects them (and so many others) that I can’t help, rofl (rolling on the(it used to be rotfl but the ‘ttends to be silent in its abbreviated form and not mentioned, except by tits) floor laughing).

From one who's idea of happiness is to be up at 6am and finish working around 9pm, to another who is unable to jam a giant foot anywhere, without it first passing – and usually at speed, through his mouth.

So it was interesting listening to the travails of one of them, whose current energy supplier - edf (one of so many megalothipsaurs), was transferring them from a pre-payment “isn’t that going down faster than it should” meter, to a normal everyday happily whirring away to itself unit, the next.


The dawning age of computerisation promised paperless offices and a life of complex free ease! If they’d truly ever realised how things would have turned out, I wonder if they’d have smashed those initial transistors and chased the scientists out of town.

Every mechanic/engineer or, in todays five second buzz-wind, ‘customer presentable problem solver’; seems to be umbilically attached to a small electronic recorder come note-taker, especially when working for one of the aforementioned megas. This wonderful little device makes everything easy and straightforward. Ensuring every job is efficiently undertaken with laser smooth precision. Calls with queries to the mothership are made before, during and after installation. But in this current reality it firmly falls into the arena of comic cock-ups, and descends through the human half of the cybernetically twisted union into an epic fail.

But back to them.

Wishing to keep on top of things, they’ve gone down the path of automatically doing weekly readings, which are spreadsheet’d on and offline. So when they received a card requesting meter readings, it was with unbridled joy that they filled them in. Called. Only to find out that according to the computer, and rude representative, they apparently owed £500.

They assured the representative there must be some error, and that couldn't be the case. The representative assured them that was the case, as that is what computer said.

Not sure why but, images of little britain

A potential representative in training?
sprang through my mind as the growing stream of harrumphing continued from both ends.

Oh yes it does… Oh no it doesn’t…

But then, apparently, friends’ phone packed up and they had to reconnect. This time to a different representative. Who put them on hold.

Moments later the new representative was back on. Apparently, representative one had eventually gotten through and found out there was no debt.

I took a sip of tea.

“A what gesture,” my friend asked surprised. “Oh right, a goodwill gesture. You’ll credit my account, with one pound!”

Bubbling tea sputtered into my saucer. After which, despite my best efforts not to, I had to burst out laughing.

Well it's always nice to know what a big megalothipsaur thinks of its charges, when they have to admit to a right royal cock-up their end; and hence avoid.

Will friends’ change supplier?

Apparently, ohhhh yesssss!

Tuesday, 30 June 2009


Listening to some of the nonsense spouted by some of those who have watched Transformers 2, you'd think they were expecting to see something else. 

For those who don't remember the premise of  the Transformer cartoon series (and please feel free to correct me), if memory serves me correct its about;
a) a bunch of good robots, trying to defend/protect something/one from,
b) a bunch of bad nasty minded robots intent on domination.

Which - regardless how you skitter it, doesn’t really get beyond the series staple whilst faithfully hoisting aloft its spirit;  a staple encompassing (c) bad robots trying to take something over, destroy something and (d) good robots trying to stop them.  This invariably ended up in things been blown up and destroyed, seemingly with gleeful meaningless at regular and frequent intervals.

If they expected to see Transformabambi, or something really deep and meaningful, as I mentioned before, its (a) about a bunch of robots...

Monday, 29 June 2009

Tubby gnats

In a few months time many will and some wont be giving a hearty welcome to the new look tubbytory bench. Yes with as much experience as a newly formed winkytinky grasping after that bar of pure gold, you know they'll have rights and liberties at the forefront of their collective minds.

After they've checked the gold price, stock price and 2nd flipping house price. Laughing all the way with their newly found ex-new-labour-trough friends, and grategull fawning swanking city execs, to collect on their winnings from the accounts of sold-on-the-cheap high street casinos.

Aren't we back to burning bankers yet for plunging a few hundred million (global here) into the disquietude lap of impecunious?

Oh well, whilst we're at it, we might as well welcome in the age of the gnat.

Saturday, 27 June 2009

At last

At last, it’s been a while since i was actually there at the right time with a camera in hand; but this time, the camera was a couple of feet away when my eyes caught a sudden movement, an arrest?

Yes a possible arrest, with the guy appearing to be immobilised and one of the officers checking his hands every now and then.  But then another car appeared soon after this photo was taken with four other officers, a total of eight for one guy who hadn’t even twitched in the minutes i was looking.


Obviously all was well as soon after the newly arrived departed, but not before some kids just - out of nappies, gave the departing officers some sort of grief.  Birching’s too good for them.  But, strange how my mood soon started to lift, I just need a nearby lighting strike from the gathering darkening clouds, then i’ll be really happy.

The seven horse-chestnuts are thriving, apart from one which might soon be sucking on ethereal sap over the next couple of weeks.

nuts1  nuts2

And, although i’m hoping that its just in hibernation – even though it’s summer, the bonsai lost its last leaf and is looking a bit sparse.


And then, blow me down, the weeing of screeching sirens brought me careering back for this final snap…


Wednesday, 24 June 2009

Wet my drawers and hope for a re-run

After earlier seeing trek and sufficiently wetting myself with enjoyment, the next few flickers of scifans i’m looking forward to encompasses: harry potter, 2012 – clippy below, gi-joe, and that thing – scrubbers - with brucie in – scanners – that I can’t remember surrogates, which looks exceptionally good in an ai meets i-robot with with a twisting nod to a smithless ‘trix. 

So a fun filled cinemascopic 2nd half of 2009 is on order; filled with bumper dvd/blu-ray/next-tantalising-whoppingly-huge-storage-media winter and spring (northern hemisphere) viewing sensation’s.


Sunday, 21 June 2009

Democracy’s run

“Woofinate. Woofinate. Woofinate,” barks a strange roboticised voice hidden away from the prying eyes of the public.

“What’s happening, what’s going on,” asks the suitably breathless shadowy figure, just arriving and settling down within the lurking boundary.

“Oh it’s nothing,” comes the reply from the light. “Just the supreme one spinning and chasing own tail, whilst barking at the moon again.”

“Woofinate,” continues to drift in from the distance.

“Here democracy,” someone calls.  “Here boy.”

And the two burst out sniggering.

Saturday, 20 June 2009

Ed's a changing

Test this, test that, six tries or your out.

Change this test date.

Bring in an inept marking organisation.

Try another testing scheme, ditch that.

Suggest consultations for a different testing scheme, ditch that if governors grow a spine.

Pop over for a quick visit to the leader of the free world, get notes on how well there comprehensive-equivalents are doing.  Mental note of the metal detector company...

Prudence this, saviour of the free world that..., I couldn't take it any more. Had to kill him, for the benefit of everyone!”

“Don't worry Alistair,” V hisses. “Just sign this, everything will be okay.”

Thursday, 11 June 2009

A few strays

A few photos slipped past my naming conventions. 

Still working out whether they’re bits of a lung, egg carton box, or just some old dust.

bounty2 bounty1