Saturday, 25 January 2014


"Yes, we strike another body blow to the nonsense parading itself as democracy and freedom. From here on in we, the All-she-he-bees, ban all of that mixed shaking and passing on of sweat or bodily dna, between everyone everywhere which is of a physical nature. Indeed this strike is to the foundations of individualism, dictating that all procreation be carried out by turkey basters and a no-nonsense test-tube.

Naturally some of us have to be exempt from such conscription’s, as that is the will of the host on high.

However in the meantime:
  • No handshaking!
  • No looking in the same direction of anyone else for the purposes of sex! 
  • No eating in the same room! 
  • Actually, no living in the same town as anyone else, for the purposes of anything!

This pronouncement is the will of the most high - as divined by our balmy teacher.”

Thursday, 23 January 2014

Expert economist

Most economists never saw the 2007 crash and subsequent recession driving straight at them.

Most economists never saw uk unemployment reaching 7.1% by the start of 2014.

Indeed, when it comes to predictions economists track records are worse than attempting to win anything on a lottery.

In light of this please pick the activity you believe those using the label economistsare actually good for:
  1. The position of court jester.
  2. Filling hot air balloons.
  3. Been used in boiler rooms during the depths of a severe winter, or
  4. Chasing around the village square with very heavy sticks?

Sunday, 12 January 2014

Happy New...

What? It can't be 2050 already - i'm still in semi-hibernation mode!