Chesties

No, nothing to do with spare pork ribs, fried avian wings or bbq'd legs.  But, there is a lovely picture of bubbling beans.

Horse chesty seedlets, 30th April 2009

Bubbling beans

An extra, stray

In to the out

It's always funny listening to the arguments been used to keep the 48 hour opt out, and keeping it going come hell or high water.  

At one stroke - whilst blaming it on those lazy arsed european politicians - you could ensure that no one in the country has to work more than 48 hours per week.  

What better way of ensuring wealth, equality and increasingly scarce work is distributed amongst those who have been left out in the current cold clime.  I doubt - but naturally I could be wrong, whether it's the vast majority of employees scrambling to hoist the repel-all-borders-flag up a flag post, or going 'of course I want to work a 100 hours a week, I really really really love my job.' 

Those who enjoy ticking off the hours are usually the ones whose pension pots makes the income of a small city visibly pale in comparison.  Whose main thoughts lay on the side of accruing huge wealth simply for the sake of it. 

But spare a thought for those whose working hours miraculously merge into unpaid overtime hours, who believe they have no choice, and no option.  If they're lucky, they'll have seen that innocuous bit of paper hinting at the concept of loyal paternalism; of course you want to work more than 48 hours to make this the worlds greatest and successful company, don't you?

Indicating that you wish to keep your legal opt-in, immediately marks you out as a glass-ceilinged shirker.

But in the meantime they really should drop the name Working Time Limits and give it its proper title; let's work the buggers till they drop.

Now then, who mentioned flu sniffing?

Washing hands?

With the not yet pandemic scale of what's turning out to be an interesting outbreak of flu, It's a bit disturbing that people have to be told; don't sneeze on someone, and wash your hands.  Eew, eew, EEW!

Perhaps they should start teaching the basics in schools and religious institutions, before even bothering to wonder where the flu came from, how it evolved, unless of course its been created by some intelligent designer with a great big designer laboratory behind him or her.

Ban it

Ban everything, as we've finally discovered that everything - in one way or another - is bad for us.  We should, on that fact alone, ban everything!

Ban going outside.  As thunderous hailstones or lightning or a falling plane might put an end to a life.

Ban cars, and not only from the obvious the amount of pollution they exude, but for the cars habit of bursting into flames, careering into drivers, pedestrians, bollards and eventually ending up as scrap in a river somewhere poisoning a food source.

Ban watching tv.  As too much tv watching rots the brain and has it oozing out and down the dead persons double chin.

Ban food, due to its toxicity and the fact people only end up stuffing their face, and taking up more than one seat in economy.

Ban flying, just in case a toilet comes hurtling out the sky.

Ban anyone who wants to ban anything.

Parachutes ahoy

So those who are earning more than £150,000 are boo-hoo-ing that they'll have to pay an extra £2,900 per year, in tax.   Are they aware that that £2,900 they are paying is the equivalent of 87% just over two million people have to live on? 

So will the new 50% tax rate produce the threatened mass exodus of talent from the city of london?  Hopefully.  Just feel sorry for the next city the talent decide to land on and improve.

The real beneficiaries from this budget are the under 25's and those isa savers who are, or will be 50 by the time october 2009 comes around, and can take advantage of the higher saving levels. 

Oh yes and those who buy the gilts and bonds to pay for it.

22-04-09

 

for more

Prick that nutty bubble

As bubbles come and go, it's surely time for the fundamental bubble to be pricked before it pops and takes half the world with it. 

Did anyone really expect pres. mahmoud ahmadinejad to do or say anything else?  I'm sure he's one of the escaped spitting image puppets that's had some life breathed into it and and is running amok, wrecking revenge.  And then we have the unfolding debacle in pakistan, give us what we want and we'll think about giving up arms... ha, no we won't.  If they (fundis) believe those of their same delusional belief system who have no truck and wish to have no truck with their delusions should be eradicated, as well as those who believe in a different version of the same delusion should be eradicated; how did the authorities ever believe they could agree anything that didn't, at some stage, involve that time honoured tradition of having fingers crossed behind your backs.

Onto happier and more lighter moments.  The horse chestnuts are doing remarkably well.

Let's have a quick recap of the timeline so far...

2nd april 2009	12th april

... and now how they look today.

21st april 2009

Nails

"At what stage will you wake up to realise you no longer have any freedom?

Perhaps you never will, as you no longer know, what freedom is."

Ambassadorial duties

I wouldn't know a past participle from a split infinitive if it hit me over the head with a pa... damn, used that one already.

But moving on to other pointless things, its a bit of a slap in the face when your nominees are rebuffed by the representative of the word.  Perhaps pres o. is looking at it in the wrong way.  As the pontiff obviously only wishes to be surrounded by nodding ducks, then perhaps he (obama) should just send a sack-full of them.  Which should be more than sufficient for the amount of sense which would be exchanged anyway.

Oh yes, forgot to show my support in the previous poke at religious nuttery.

Well better 3 ¾ years late to show some free speech solidarity than not at all.

Colour views

Extremist views on racism strangely coalesce when you reach the edges of the debate. 

Regardless of the the colour of a persons skin, the more extreme their particular view on race (whichever race), the more in common they have with their counterparts.  Sort of a racist code of diametric agreement.  The extremes of the brotherhood feel they are, or have been, or will be the victims.  Both feel to have been oppressed or held back or overlooked by those in power.  Invaded, discriminated against and the interlopers should be kicked out. 

And luckily, the web allows us all to be on our guard.  To say no.  Things can be different. 

Three cheers?

The problem with waking up and starting to early...

“I have to kill the children and my wife and send them to heaven. I don’t care about killing myself and going to hell.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/13/nyregion/13shoot.html?ref=nyregion

and in another part of the globe...

"Shop warned for selling offensive shoes

The customer protection section (cps) recently seized shoes with the name of god printed on them.

The department announced that the shop was selling shoes in direct violation of rules and regulations and could not be tolerated. The acting head of the cps, said that the department's inspectors acted swiftly following a report from one of the customers [read busy body, curtain twitcher, righteous angry, or another shop owner getting rid of the competition].

The department investigated the report on the spot and concluded the complaint was genuine, and inspectors acted immediately.

Inspectors raided and seized huge quantities of shoes and summoned the shop owner to the the Department. He was ordered to sign a pledge never to import that type of shoes in future and the shop was issued an official warning, a copy of which was kept in the shop's file.

The shop was penalised as per article no. 10 of the penalty scheme, which stipulates that those who circulate products that directly harm islamic laws and the decency code, are penalised.

This was not the first time, the department's inspectors had seized shoes with the name of god printed on them, in a way which badly harms muslim feelings.

She called on the public to be extremely careful when they make purchases in the emirate and to contact the department in case of any possible doubts."

http://archive.gulfnews.com/nation/General/10303246.html

and elsewhere, but a different time...

"They tell me to burn in hell and good riddance,"

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7853325.stm

 

Reviewers noose

A reviewer (freelance mind) of Origins:Wolverine gets the chop by pasting a review, in which he also mentions, he'd seen it via the web. 

The actions of his erstwhile employer, fox, is to sack him.  The same fox which is now related to the old big daddy of usa news journalism, the new york times; yes incest's on the menu.  They and the film co's seem to have lathered an amount of free pre-fervour advertising for the film that, if otherwise conducted via usual channels, have added a good few extra zeros on top of an already large budget.  Maybe it's all part of the overall plan and he'll be back working for them in no time at all, or maybe he thought it would slip by unnoticed, especially with most of the industry snarling away in sweden barring - if only half - charges at the pirate bay.

But it jogged a memory. And I recalled the last time this occurred, admittedly only stargate sg1's final days - with way less budgetary requirements to claw back than origins will require.  But it was strange how and with it not happening before, the final two episodes (minus vfx or full sound fx) managed to escape carefully vetted security clutches and ping themselves online.  Surprisingly, the extra publicity pulled in more people than the studios expected, and - probably - helped to assist with the planned films.  Yes, all very strange.  And strangely to, that particular episode hasn't satisfactorily been solved to this day, well not that i've heard anything about.

So yes, x-men origins:wolverine is available for download via any p2p service - without the vfx.  Which, if it's any good, will wet peoples curious appetite ensuring the seed's successfully planted and ready for the films release.  And people will subconsciously prime themselves to experience the films huge sensation-numbing thx greatness.  After all, as tobacco companies have more or less been indicating publicly for years, "just because it's out there, and plastered on everything, of course people won't be influenced to buy."  If it's any good. 

Content producers will have to climb out of their bunkers and start engaging in a more meaningful way the very people they are supposedly producing the films, the books, music for.  Yes the consumers.  As opposed to just thinking "how much money can we make from the suckers." To engage them when they produce something that's really good, as well as admitting when they've produced a total dogs breakfast and not worth the popcorn squashed onto the cinema floor let alone cinema ticket, and give something back to those who have wasted good money.  But no doubt that would lead to another can of worms with people saying everything they've seen is crap and where's my next freebie!

The days when consumers were nose-led by old media dinosaurs is, hopefully, diminishing. But deep within darkened tunnels (golf courses) a rear guard action continues by those who want nothing more than to get back to the good old days of totally dictating how consumers can use a particular piece of media, then gouge them for as much as possible, all the while bringing out the most mediocre rubbish, minus the odd sparkling gem, as possible.

Silly mistake by roger friedman? Potentially, time will tell. 

Brilliant free advertising for the film?  Way beyond anything the companies probably hoped for. 

Will I see it when it's out?  Damn, should have booked front seat tickets.  x-men

Spring colours

Something natural, lighter and strangely hopeful.

Yes i'm growing horse chestnuts, but out of 12 planted only seven have poked heads above soil.

The first pic was taken on the 2nd of April, and the 2nd take a few moments before posting.  At this rate, barring a very bad frost, in a months time the horse chestnut seedlings will have to be given new homes.

Pic 1 2nd April 2009

Pic 2: 12th April 2009

And although the angle of capture's slightly different, in the 1st picture you can just see the second shoot popping up out of the soil on the right hand side, which in the second picture is the one just about to open its leaves, in the lower right hand side.

Ah yes before I forget and get totally carried away, here's the lovely spring climbing rose and yellow something which escapes me.

Pic 3: 2nd April 2009

So let it be

For the moments that have gone, and the moments that are.

Flapping through the breeze

Brings a different twist to it.

"It's hard to fathom and digest,

but I digress.

A world-wind flapping through the breeze,

stopping, making us think.

An alien's invaded,

1600 pennsylvania avenue.

Four more years?  An unbearable crutch.

Navigating craters, leaping superbowls of dust,

avoiding the on-rushing surge,

of apocalypses surrounded by armageddons.

But thankfully it's finally happened,

an alien's invaded 1600 pennsylvania avenue.

When that last drop of oil dribbled to a stop,

so, so long ago, and the world descended

into old fashioned mowing,

and killing and dicing, of lands anew.

Peace finally happened, when an alien landed,

and invaded 1600 pennsylvania avenue."

Nothing's ever perfect

So much to do, so little time and a quarter of the year's already slipped into the clutches of history, whoever records that history. 

But at least in the future, if bright sparks ensure the technical information regarding the plethora of codecs are kept, our descendents will be able to enjoy streaming hours of chortling fun wondering how we managed to survive and even more amazed at why we would watch knowing, directly into their cortex.

 

Us		Them
Kettling and the herding of dissenters, as all protesters are potential terrorists/anarchists and "deserve what they get."		The cafetiere's on and they're huddling around after the bust up (well except in metropolitan suburbs after inter-racial riots).
Bosses send out emails or sms's informing employees they're fired. Employees grumble, shout a few words then shuffle off to the dole queue.		Workers receive emails. Proceed to lock bosses in broom cupboards, dust off and put on scratched editions of la terreur blanche.
Police and strikers stand around, barracking, goading each other, exuding nothing but loathing and pure contempt.		Police and strikers barrack and goad each other, then afterwards get down to a good chin-wag, some decent lunch and talk about the shocking state of the world.
Renaissance in the home cooking of cabbage.		Wondering who in their right mind would eat bubble & squeak.
Starting to realise the thatcher & blair years might not have been quite so enjoyable, for the vast majority after all.		Trying to catch up to the thatcher & blair years.

And as the start of another good friday comes to an end, it's good to know that at least the weather is keeping to the wonderful tradition of providing a cold, rain-sodden, miserable bank holiday experience.

Easter

Wishing everyone a contented easter.

AOL contracts

My aol contract is up in two days time and I decided to give them a call to discover what they could offer someone who has been with them for (it transpires after been told) nearly nine years.

Yes, after nearly nine years of faithful dedication as all my peers shot by on the speed stakes and laughed at my paltry 2mb then 6.7mb instead of 8mb, I stuck and remained with them. Even after missing out on the laptop or ps3 offer the last time my contract was up, I remained a faithful and loyal customer.

The past week has been spent champing at the bit, waiting until a couple of days before the end to look around and seeing what else was available before making that call.

Nine long years.

When does loyalty pay off?

Apparently never if you're an aol customer. Even surgery's give you excellent treatment for been loyal nowadays. But not, it seems, aol.

hallelujah!

We talked and I was congratulated at been one of the lucky ones to receive nearly 7mb speeds as many get less than that.

hallelujah!

And we can throw in a free wireless router? I already have two.

hallelujah!

I notice you don't have a bundle, let me do a quick calculation... we can offer you a full package for £25 per month.

That's nice, but that's £5 more expensive than i'm paying now and I have my services with separate providers!

After nearly nine years as a loyal customer, the best they can offer (for me to receive the same service) is a price increase of 25%.

HALLELUJAH!

Hacking the light fantastic

After all the to-ing and fro-ing, by the us over the gary mckinnon case, it now comes out that most if not all the energy & utility networks are moled through by pesky spies of the commie persuasion!

With the scale of devastation any potential governmental hackers (unofficial or otherwise) might cause, shouldn't the government be bringing the same amount of disproportionate force down to bear on those infiltrating the life blood of the country, as it has and is currently undertaking against gary.   Who, let us not forget, was only looking for proof of ufo's.

Could this be the first salvos in the real life serialisation of Jericho?  Must dig out some popcorn.

The great unlimited debate

Well not really great, and not really a debate.  Perhaps the asa requires an up to date dictionary whilst returning the one they were forced to borrow from ofcom.

Today, well it was a while back - before i had a break, (and lo and behold they've popped along 'n snuck something in for a rescue), the british advertising standards authority (asa) allowed mobile companies to use the word unlimited in their advertising, regardless of the fact that an advert (which sparked the initial complaint) from carphone warehouse's spin-off - e2save; had in microscopic handy small print a clause stating unlimited meant, "data transfer that is limited to 250mb per month".

Now before i popped the word (unlimited) into a couple of online dictionaries, i wandered through the dusty reaches of the vast echoing emptiness that passes for my mind, searching for the accumulating morass of meanings i'd come to understand and associate with the term unlimited.

From everything i dredged up, i could only deduce one over arching meaning.  It meant without cap.  Endless.  Goes on and on and on and ... the antonym of limited.  You know, the full 180-about-faced-slap-reversing-two-sided turn.

The sort of scenario where if fund manager were to say "'i'm going to ensure your income returns are unlimited," you know to keep them talking whilst pressing the fed button.  But back to the definitions...

A quick brief clip from the free dictionary

un·lim·it·ed (n-lm-td) adj.

1. Having no restrictions or controls: an unlimited travel ticket. 2. Having or seeming to have no boundaries; infinite: an unlimited horizon. 3. Without qualification or exception; absolute: unlimited self-confidence.

Even if they'd utilised version number 2, who in their right mind then went on to suggest that 250mb was just peachy?

And just in case i've copypasted the wrong bits, here's another from merriam-webster

1 : lacking any controls : unrestricted <unlimited access> 2 : boundless , infinite <unlimited possibilities> 3 : not bounded by exceptions.

So a term and its meaning, which has more or less been agreed upon since the 15th century, the asa and ofcom have decided (seemingly) to hijack, for the benefit of... the industry.

Thoughts

Heartfelt condolences, thoughts and best wishes with the people of L'Aquila.

Sometimes governments are quick and speedy enough to get things done; other times lumbering bureaucracy and face saving get in the way of helping to rebuild.

There are many ways of keeping up to date with the current level of disasters occurring around the globe, and for more than a five minute hand wringing and further information:

• Relief Web  part of the United Nations Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs.
• International Committee of the Red Cross
• The Disasters Emergency Committee (DEC)

Make a difference, get involved.

Pension stakes bilious bile

Would the backlash and floggings so many fervently wish to heap up against the ex-masters of the universe have been so great, had the banks (retail) and bankers not been so adamant about the righteousness and moral certitude of the overdraft fees and interest charges, they said everyone who had the audacity should expect as a penalty for been lax with their money.

On that level, with the way they forecast this historic record breaking run, they should be put in stocks for at least two years and pelted on a regular basis with: turnips, offal, fed the weakest of gruel, and then have all their assets foreclosed on.

Good to see the shareholders of rbs, voting by a whopping 90% to register disapproval, a shame more didn't vote in previous years.  True the talent might have flown to other institutions, but then there still might have been an independent non-merged bank.  And with this sort of talent spotting, i'd rather try my luck winning the national-lottery jackpot prize four times in a row.

So, in the great unemployment banking stakes

poor average-pay sods: 29,999  vs.  really rich trouter: 1
(or put another way,
newly unemployed rbs employee: £3,343.60p pa.  vs.  ex-head-trout:  £702,000 pa.)

But, could the whole financial meltdown have a silver lining?

The very first paragraph of the first page of the executive summary of the ipcc climate change and water says:

"observational  records  and  climate  projections  provide  abundant  evidence  that  freshwater  resources are  vulnerable  and  have  the  potential  to  be  strongly  impacted  by  climate  change,  with  wide-ranging consequences for human societies and ecosystems."

executive summary, ipcc, climate change & water 2008.

With so much freshwater used for industrial/farming use, maybe this will allow us some breathing space to speed up alternative energy creation, improve energy use efficiency, and drastically reduce the waste we lax consumers in so many countries create.

... now where's that picture again ...

Quitting smoking?

I've given up smoking. 

Well I say given up.  I am on the cusp of the fifth week without lighting up or having the remotest inclination of inhaling one. 

Do I feel any better?

I've been smoking for the last 24 years.   Ranging anywhere from 10 cigs per day to over a 100 fags when socially stress-pressed.   And then one day, four weeks ago, I stopped.  Stopped without needing the usual cold, flu or other bodily ailment as an excuse to refrain from the mad morning scramble of opening a packet, lighting up and inhaling along with my first coffee of the day. 

Ate far less though, as breakfast all the way through till lunch simply comprised of cigarettes and large barrels of coffee.

I thought I'd look and see what health benefits would occur under this newly discovered additional bout of abstinence that's joined the ones of sex, recreational helpers, and the way its going - alcohol, all careering off into the distance, without a religious conversion anywhere in sight!

Time	The theory	The actual
20 minutes	Blood pressure and pulse returns to normal.	From all the blood pressure and pulse tests I have had done in the past, better than most non-smokers let alone smokers.	no
8 hours	Nicotine and carbon monoxide levels in blood reduce by ½, oxygen levels return to normal and circulation improves.	Oxygen and carbo levels were always very good.	no
24 hours	Carbon monoxide and nicotine levels are eliminated from the body.	Never noticed anything different here.	no
48 hours	Ability to taste and smell improves.	Well i can certainly begin to smell london. Didn't realise people bathed in cologne or perfume. Or seemingly nothing at all. Ewwww!	not sure
3 days	Breathing becomes easier as your bronchial tubes begin to relax.	Stopped sounding like a slightly old steam train first thing in the morning, so that's been a plus.	yes
Few days	Fingers lose their yellow stains and skin looks better.	Never ever had those yellow stained fingers. But could have been mistaken for one of the greys from roswell on a muggy dawn.	maybe
1 month	Appearance improves, skin loses greyish pallor and becomes less wrinkled.	A few days to go for this one, but the way the body's deciding to break out and looking more like a relief map of a rice pudding bowl, i'm starting to have my doubts.	starting to
3 – 9 months	Coughing and wheezing declines.	Shall wait and see.	tbc
1 year	Risk of heart attack reduces by half compared to that of a smoker.	As above.	tbc
10 years	Risk of lung cancer falls to about half that of a smoker.	As before.	tbc
15 years	Risk of coronary heart disease is the same as a non-smoker.	Aren't I dead or uploaded yet!	tbc

I do seem to need more sleep - if that were possible. But that would cut into the 16 hours I spend in front of the computer screen, anyway. 

Eating more, but have cut down on alcohol, down from 1818+units (and had to check a couple of times to make sure) a month to less than 15 units a month.   The upshot is that i will have to take up some form of exercise; there's only so much leeway hereditary genetics will allow the body, before it irrecoverably passes beyond pear shape. 

On this the turn of a cusp week i'm starting to feel something hinting of a beneficial turn, the skin is starting to feel as if its mine again. 

Along with that, the past few months have seen an increase in the flats population of greenery. Help combat the diesel/petrol fumes pouring in from the street as well as gaseous exhausts from my ever increasing bean-laden diet, by adding wonderful surplus amounts of oxygen into the air.  But just in case it does, I'll need to take more antioxidants (fruit/veg and vitamin/mineral supplementation) to combat the potential increase in free radical.

p45's

Amused by the increasing appearance on tv of people who have joined the lengthening unemployment queues. My advise?  Don't worry or panic. It will only become unmanageable if you really let it get to you.  Cut down what you can, cut out what you can sensibly cut out, ensure you eat properly.  As if you let that go, you could end up as a dreaded er statistic.

Liberty?

Sigh. The laudable cry of sovereignty once more rings out as new eu elections are set to take place, in less than three months time.

It's always worrying listening to people who are more intent of talking over and interrupting people to ensure their point is heard when cameras are rolling.  But who's interest does the multi-mill/billionaire business leaders serve, since very rarely does it appear to truly benefit the general populace?  Oh right theirs. No doubt someone somewhere will believe its a microsoft or chinese or russian plot to derail and destabilise the eu powerhouse from the inside.

There must be many people in constituent countries who are able to name ten members of their parliamentary betters and at least five of their eu reps. Why, here in the uk there's jacqs, gord, vince, dave (at least six of them), and for the eu, there's... er.... where's me list...

But when the time arrives i'll have read the blurbs, gone with me guts and scratched my green name; so later down the line I can say "I was robbed" and "that was a bloody wasted vote" with a modicum of self-righteous contentedness.

Yippee!  By 2018 every new built building in the eu will be required to produce as much energy as they consume.  2018?  Nine years time?  The rise in sea-level will probably have put paid to that, as the mad scramble to build-build-build to relocate coastline refugees picks up a soggy pace, and the last thing people will be thinking about is "does it have a pump!"  Just give everyone a windmill-hat and solar powered kinetic boots.

A europe any fundamental corporate fascist would be proud of

If that's not you, click below

"The European Parliament may be about to surrender absolute power over the Internet to the telecom operators.

Under the false premise that market and competition rules will solve all problems, MEPs are about to agree to "Net discrimination" in amendments pushed by AT&T, the UK and French governments..."

Oh blimey

Blimey, I can almost feel one coming.

But in the meantime here's a quick peek...

On other unrelated peeks...

"Right then, let's sort out these training schemes. Who first for a certificate learning how to open a newspaper and turn a page? What, no takers? Okay how about learning how to answer the telephone? No!!! You people are never satisfied."

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away and hours apart ...

"Who wants to do nanotechnology or bio-technology and xenotectonics before taking a break?"

And a happy new year

I would like to think that 2009 would bring a newly found level of inspired politics, hope and decision making.

But the past 2009 years (going from the christian calendar), haven't exactly brought much in the way of new year peace, happiness, contentedness or well being for the globes population.  Naturally such a sweeping statement doesn't affect a small minority, who will always be fine - regardless.  The vast majority however, will continue to be sidetracked by the petty existence of every day survival, higher loftier thoughts only mulled over by those with the time, the space, the wherewithal to contemplate and hopefully distill, nourishing nuggets down to the rest of us.

So, despite evidence to the contrary, here's to wishing everyone a wonderful and fantastic 2009.

Government and "yeehaw" training

In this day and age you would think the governments "joined up thinking" would have a included the sensible approach to making sure the increasing millions soon to hit the dole queues, would be eligible to have training.

You know, to keep their skills up. To ensure that when the country pops out of the depression, we'll be in fighting fit form to take on the world and hold our own with a huge array of newly trained and qualified people champing at the bit with a new found vigour, highly toned skills and boundless reams of energy.

You would have thought!

Sadly, this government thinks otherwise and from september 2009 are bringing in a bizarre system, where they will provide funds for people to be trained. They will actually provide 100% of the funding. But with one small proviso. They will give the training providers 20% of the training costs up front. And then (and here's the kicker) they will fund the other 80% once (so making the magic sum of 100%), the unemployed person has found gainful employment within 6 months of them finishing the training course and been unemployed for 6 months.

So? I hear the cry go up, they're getting training, providers are getting paid?

Well imagine this scenario. You're at work and your bosses come up with a scheme, where instead of you getting paid your monthly salary all in one foul swoop, they give you 20%, and say that if you do a really good job and bring in outstanding results at the 1/2 yearly review stage they'll give you the other 80% of your salary in six months time, if you can keep it up.

Happy with it now?

The governments cack-handed approach to this has of course meant that meaningful providers who would have given the unemployed meaningful achievable training routes back into employment or self-employment, are now pulling out in droves. Leaving the really bad, or the ones who can use this now endless supply of even cheaper labour (as they'll get even more money into their coffers), as the only things left for those seriously unemployed; who could well end up to be a new underclass, permanently pinned on the spokes of poverty.

This might have worked when the economy was booming and bust defeated, and jobs were like confetti on ticker tape day. But in the current cooling clime, it is one of the worst ideas they have come up and stuck with.

Once people realise it, the ranks of the disaffected and jump-shippers could finally become a stampede.

Naturally when it is brought in and fails, they will blame the providers for not living up to the schemes expectations. Instead of them standing up, throwing their hands in the air and just going "yep, we cocked up."

This is nothing but a rear-guard action, by a rear-guard rump of a government, for which everyone else is to blame for everything's that happening, and they happily waft about losing the precious few tenuous grips on reality that they once had.

The one happy thought which trickles through peoples mind is, like dust in a storm, they'll be summarily kicked out of power come the prevailing electoral wind. Will things get any better afterwards? Oh where is my sick bag.

We are interconnected as never before. Our prioritise used to be small; the family, the village, the town, the city, the county, then the country states. But we've reached a stage where what happens on one side of the world, will in seconds impact the another. We have to think of ourselves as global citizens, and not the old insular back-biting, back stabbing, parochial entities of old. We have to go beyond the "every person for themselves" motto as that's plainly failed, in all its iterations.

"We are a species that goes beyond our limitations," says Ray Kurzweil. A shame governments religions, and fundamental fruitbats try to place so many restrictions hindering the pace of change, pace of development and pace of fairness for the whole of humankind.

And talking of wheels coming off wagons. Oh dear. Is this already the start of the end, of the obama love-in?

And in keeping with the time of diy, here's my wee little homage to the season of happiness.

Another

With minutes to spare

Just when it looks as if the second brain cells died, it kicks back into life, and with minutes to spare.  So here it is...

Another look at the special christmas countdown; as doom and gloom is scattered around with more liberal abandonment, than anyone knows what to do with.

End of year thoughts - part iii

As good as seeing water turned to wine and world peace announced would be, things just won't be the same.

1. The few remaining doctors discover a new form of hallucinogenic mushroom growing in the dampness of reservoirs used by the ruling elite in zimbabwe for their drinking water; but are shot as traitors, when they try to administer detox programs.
   
2. England win a cricket series 5-0.  The hedgehog cricket series.
   
3. Sterling plunges to an all time low against a basket of currencies, as a journalist breaks a remarkable story.  Clambering down a beanstalk, the out of breath daring reporter babbled a story about gold reserves and egg shapes!
   
4. China, now the worlds cameras have gone, continues its rounding up of dissidents.  But unlike the old days, dissidents now have greater options under the march towards equality; to be used as canon shot, or as the target.
   
5. The un officially declares zimbabwe a dead zone and launches a scathing attack on some of its spineless neighbours.
   
6. During the christmas address, the queen experiences momentary confusion and recalls the good old days of blair, sorry thatcher, no atlee.
   
7. With the lack of after-office appointments, dinner invitations, or even publishing deals coming his way.  Ex-pres george does a 30 second television advert for clark's shoes.
   
8. Fat people are people, who simply have a medical problem - they can't keep their mouths shut.
   
9. On an unrelated note, a growing number of dentists have been spotted lurking outside the doors of the nations fast food joints, as a new points system for wiring peoples jaw shut, comes into force.
   
10. There is huge rejoicing in the union at the outlawing of slavery.  Sadly the british government blows hearty raspberries in the direction of the rest of the continent, and says it's their prerogative to ensure the peasants are flogged before work, flogged during work and flogged twice after work.  Just to make sure they're working.

But onto a more festive theme...

Ah where's my precious

After spending two days zombified mortified and petrified, with time zipping off into the sunset, the count continues.

Some currencies are up, some are down.  More murders, killings, rapes, pillaging, plots, stabbing's, charity, love and hope.  More nano, less nano, better medicines, more lawsuits.  There are now more people in the world with more time on their hands.  More time to relax and look back on those hectic years of madness they've wasted.  Some to enjoy the freedom of their gardens, some to spend the time idling behind firm barred doors pretending to be lucy, and yet others soldering on hoping for the time of change.

Think that about sums it up for the past couple of days.

 

Trips through twilight thrice

The journey through twilight land takes on an ever stranger twist.  As the minority, who take drugs, are vilified by the majority (according to figures plucked randomly from news headlines), but taking drugs (which have unspecified/mixed results) for the new application of boosting intelligence, instead of been branded as frankensteinian, for unnatural tampering with the natural processes, are welcomed for the potential helpful boosts that they engender, in uni-tasking capability.

Will these pills be made available for the destitute poor in any country?  You can almost hear thought processes whirring away, they don't even have proper nutrition or access to decent water facilities what do they need the pills for, they'll just be even more acutely aware of their dire circumstances?

Basically good is bad, and bad is good.  Cognitive enhancer's good.  Euphoric enhancer's bad.  Although i'm sure if governments started taxing all drugs, the illicit variety would lose its rebel allure.   More people might start talking more openly; apart, perhaps, from those interested in over familiarity with sheep.  Those who still insist upon there use, would at least be able to pop down to their local pharmacy (for a fee) for the obligatory one minute purity & dna compatibility test, on provision of a properly stamped and vated receipt from the ministry of homeland happiness.  Not only that, but with the tax from smoking and oil diminishing, the money we'll all need in the following years of hardship will have to come from somewhere - instead of our children's futures.

But at the end of the day, even if there's only a 5% chance of boosting brain power, I would more than happily pop such pills.  Why?  It might give the remaining two brain cells a bit more company in this tumbleweed infested carapace, and i'd finally be able to remember the end of...

 

 

Isn't it here yet....

Sarkattack

Why are people so shocked about the barclay brothers closing down and shipping out of sark?

Multi-billionaires, corporate giants, money machines have always attempted to subvert/bend/change governments to suit their ends.

The people of sark voted to keep their system of feudalism in place, for whatever reason they are happy with it or simply - after 400 years - just that little bit worried the prospect of potential change.

The brothers don't like it and have voted using the influence they have.  You could say they have elected to use their rights of expression. 

The co-operative don't invest in countries, companies  or regimes that goes against their ethical charter, should they be told they can't do that even though those millions might help people in poverty?  Aren't they expressing the rights of their members and beliefs?

Plenty of people complain about the lack of democracy in so many parts across the globe, yet right on the uks doorstep is an island which is only now taking faint faltering steps.  They made their choice to keep change at a minimum, and the brothers expressed their disappointment, perhaps it is just a case of nothing to see here.

But it's approaching that time of year, for feasting, dancing and song...

Pie at 6 o'clock... no, 2 o'clock... is it a pie? ...

... and there you have it, as good as a stodgy politician lumping around in sheep's clothing.

After three bites and meeting nothing but pastry - in this alleged meat pie.  I decided to keep the rest.  Take it home, and place it under closer scrutiny in a soup bowl.  Just to give it some depth.

But, as can be seen from the opposite of an already munched side, a reasonable amount had been gobbled without meeting any form of resistance, whether in juices, tantalising flavour let alone anything resembling tenderised meat.  Nothing but the same flabby bits of over sogged pastry. 

So here are pictures (quick sequence) of the pie, and the heaped teaspoon of filling that obviously went into it, followed by acres and acres of more lamentable pastry.  Meat pie?  More like "nasty pie surprise!"

Sadly it turned out to be a proverbial oh why did i bother.  And will teach me to pack a small horse of apples to munch on, and not to munch on anything whilst travelling through a strange part of town.  However tempting it might first appear - unless it happens to be first recommended by a local!

For those wishing not to indulge at this particular eatery or for those masochistic enough for an experience, it can be found here:

On a totally different and unrelated matter, is there a law against idiots driving through built up areas with exhausts rivaling blasting off shuttles?  I thought that sort of nonsense went out with the eighties?  If not shouldn't residents be given the right to buy rpg's or bazookas - for some peace and quiet?

What was that...?  There's a world outside?

 

 

And the countdown continues

Back to basics sweatshop

Fundapet

People are under the false impression that 100% fundamentals will take note of any life outside of their belief system has any importance.  As far as they are concerned, people who don't believe have as much legality to existence, as a petri dish of slime.

Not that any of this matters...

End of year thoughts - part II (the continuation - somewhat)

End of year thoughts should really encompass more than the worst or the best of what's happened, even if they're all the majority can remember - or those out there with a similar piss-poor memory.

The following few musings have drifted up through bubbling randomness, which needs to be given a waft of some type of freshening air; either that or it simply had me outraged, hawking up, and legless in stitches.

Best....

Advertisement: in my opinion is toshiba's upscaling (when over to their site click on the tv on the box, then the view ad tab on the top banner, and after a second of them showing off the flash effects it will start) advert, that's tickled all my bones and kept me going back for more feasting eye-fulls. 60 seconds of well-spent viewing. But i suppose after losing out in the hd wars, they had to come up with something redemptive, the advert mind, not sure about the upscaling nonsense.

Brief piece of music used in an advert: again toshiba's upscaling one does it for me, but honourable mention to the spot samsung f480 (yes that was the phones model number) at the time of the beijing olympics.

Movie trailer: the day the earth stood still, the trailer; did i mention anything about acting?

News: that bastion of capitalism (that's kept us all fed and safe for decades) has gone belly up, and had to have its carcass dragged out of the flood waters by the nasty liberal/socialist scum who hold such values as human rights, equality, fraternity in high regard. Brrrrrr!

Game: eve-online - naturally i'm biased.

Amateur spin off video of a game (or machinima to give it its correct title): must surely go to clear skies, from john rourke and gang. The full 450mb download is available from here, or a 26mb trailer here. Or go to the eve-online site and see what the hard-core nutters - sorry - fellow gamers, have been saying about it.

Anti-hate speech: to keith olbermann.

A brief glimpse in seven categories that have caught my vibrating eyes & ears this year. And the worst is yet to come!

Forgot about what? The uk government losing half its citizens data? Luckily that was last year. But this year, isn't quite yet finished. After the feasting there'll be plenty of time...

Potty brain

When younger, I used to enjoy pottering (yes even during those tender formative years, I enjoyed a good potter), growing plants, drawing plans which involved building small dams and irrigation systems.  All in a patch no bigger than 4ft by 1.5ft.  But it kept me enthralled for months.

Now, many years later, with less space than that assigned a dinner-ready rabbits hutch, i've found the delights of having plants nearby makes for calmer, healthier and more relaxed living quarters. 

I almost feel that i'm returning to harmonious beginnings, a long trek back to the welcoming heaving bosoms of nature, even whilst living in the depths of capital disposability and pollution.

So what plants are currently co-habiting my cramped space, swapping my obnoxious gasses for healthier ones?

First off, that old proverbial favourite the spider plant.  Next, albizia julibrissin (mimosa) which initially  required a lot of care and attention, but now appear to have settled in and zoomed off, followed by bucket loads of umbrellas.  These plants seem capable of growing in anything, anytime, anywhere; as long as they're swimming in it - water.  Which is always handy if you call  a canal your home.  A small but happy three pronged dracaena marginata.  Last but not least, two new additions; a lovely little four year old ficus retusa microcarpa (bonsai tree) and a somewhat spindly but vibrating guzmania - which is having re-orienteering settling in issues.

So how infectious is this growing affliction?  Extremely severe, would be a nice all encompassing phrase.

I've rediscovered the fine pleasure to be gained from pottering around tending plants, so it does seem that i have finally joined the potty-brained brigade!

Now, for matters more pressing...

Nothing to report here

Red eye

Fruit and veg luxury

In the uk a bastion of opportunity, fairness and democracy, it's telling how truly bad things are; when people start thinking of ordinary fruit and vegetables as an expensive luxury.

Tesco and the sausage factory

With venice sinking, cholera & anthrax rates practically doubling by the hour in sinkbabwe, parents running over each other to disregard the disregard mmr messages and have their children finally vaccinated against mmr, uproar over the police invading parliamentary privilege; i have a serious complaint about the fresh(?) cooked counter at tesco's!

In the past tesco was a favourite haunt.  A regular fix that ended once i parted with hundreds of pounds per month.  Even had home delivery's (admittedly they only managed 85% accuracy), until it became laborious, a pain and then a chore i could live without.

That aside, now and then I enjoy popping into the local store, as they're still the only place within an easy stroll which does a wonderful cooked sausage - and yes i know the rubbish and conditions that goes in to the making of them, but when breakfast has comprised of porridge made with water and honey (to cut cholesterol levels), the only thing my stomach and brain agreed on come shopping time, is that great big, curving, succulently juicy, calling my name - with a hint of spices about it - cumberland sausage!

One crafty sleight of hand carried out and which springs to mind in regard to tesco (which is why we should always keep receipts for moments like this), is the cooked foot and half long curvy cumberland sausages used to be 89p.  Now tescos have done away with those and plumped instead for a straight spicy sausage which is half the size of the previous monster, for - you've guessed it - 89p.

But on this particular occasion I popped in and made a bee-line for the counter (as that was the only thing I was going to buy) only to see a fellow customer there, not quite in an overjoyed frame.  After nearly a minute of  nothing happening or seeing any movement behind the counter, I asked him if he'd been served.  He said he'd been waiting there for ten minutes and hadn't been served yet. Okay, thought I, 10 minutes waiting...  Seeing a customer assistant to the right of me packing the shelves, i called him over and asked if there was anyone serving.  He said quite jocularly that as much as he would like to serve, he hadn't been trained in "not burning himself", with a wry smile, but he'd go to find someone.  And off he went.

By this time a fair little queue had built up, with people comparing the popping into tesco's experience as more akin to having teeth pulled and preferences been made for asda, as been far cheaper; lidl, for being a good bargain, and the odd trip to marks and spencers just to ensure there's still life kicking in those bargain basement corpses.

The upshot, the first customer had been standing there for nigh on 15 minutes, as the customer servicing agent that should have been there, was no-where to be seen.  The person who had 'temporarily' taken over didn't know where she was, and looked as if she really didn't want to be there anyway as no doubt an important mobile call was been missed.

The beginning of the end of tesco?  Lax, management?  Doubtful and they have enough clout to lop off the top heavy prices to become cheap enough so no-one'll care.  But there were five unhappy people at the counter, I wonder how many people they've spoken to, communicating miffed disgust?

That aside, how many days...?  Oh yes, 21.

End of year thoughts, part II

Ah, with each passing month that old saying fact is stranger than fiction, just can't help intruding its big nose into the virtual world of effluent froth.

Bah!

Only three  weeks to go before the elbow gouging, back stabbing, bunion crunching, present wailing time of year comes to its ultimate conclusion.  This year will be interesting, now that everyone - even those in numbers 10 & 11 - are aware that conurbations of people will avoid the annual round of spend and blubber. 

We may spend a bit more time thinking about what we (non-all-inclusive) can afford and what the presentee will be happy to receive, given the state of current financial straight-jackets.

If someone does decide to pop over offering buckets of mulled wine mixed with solace and kind words, you could just imagine them been greeted with a trebuchet full of warming pitch followed by sackful's of cards and a hearty clear off!

Sadly i digress.

End of year thoughts, will just have to wait until the end of the week and some poignant finishing touches.

In the meantime...

A matter of opinion

The best thing for rudolph?  Some might disagree.  The others?

Ofwho?

For those who thought ofgem was bad; ofcom makes that entity look like a staunch bastion of consumer hope and action, but enough about dinosaurs.

Ofcons charter has obviously been thrown out of the window, for been to problematic.  And why ofcon?  Because we have been so conned into believing this was an organisation set up for the benefit of the millions of people who use telephones, broadband, mobile services.  Those whose only sanction is to walk away and try to find a different provider.  But even that's beset with it's own problems. Want to port your number or port your broadband?  Tough!  Just come with us so we can make sure your options are encased in concrete before been weighed down by iron weights - like the good old days.  But, enough of smoke and mirrors.  Who needs good facts, when bad facts are twice as good for half the price.

So in honour of ofcom's inability to realise - or care, that consumers are been cheated, misled, taken round the houses on a mystery tour they're dearly paying for. In honour of ofcom (and the asa) like rabbits caught and blinded by the industry - it's supposed to regulate; it's time this useless guano was renamed something more appropriate, and my has there been many helpful (however questionable) names put forward already.

Sadly my t'penny ha'penny worth only came to, office of codswolloping odorous mange.

But onto more pleasing concerns...

Spidy do

The spider plants (given as a gift), as well as enjoying an ambient temperature of 15-17 degrees celsius, also appear to be enjoying my bodily expulsions and have thus grown by leaps and bounds.

A flower, with four more waiting in the wings, has burst open.  Which has surprised me.  As the only bit of colour I thought i'd see this side of spring/summer 2009, would be my face turning blue on cold & frosty mornings.

But the main reason for the shrubbery, is to help combat the never-ending pollution.  After waking in the morning (once the plants have switched from carbonising to oxygenating), the smell of heavy auto fumes hangs thick in the air.  Once the curtain and room's open to the world however, the fug only momentarily lasts before been replaced by a healthier brew.  No wonder i'm feeling high, so often. Obviously continual diesel/petrol fume inhalation isn't good for any extended period of time, but it certainly does open up a whole new view of the world!