Saturday, 20 June 2009

Ed's a changing

Test this, test that, six tries or your out.

Change this test date.

Bring in an inept marking organisation.

Try another testing scheme, ditch that.

Suggest consultations for a different testing scheme, ditch that if governors grow a spine.

Pop over for a quick visit to the leader of the free world, get notes on how well there comprehensive-equivalents are doing.  Mental note of the metal detector company...

Prudence this, saviour of the free world that..., I couldn't take it any more. Had to kill him, for the benefit of everyone!”

“Don't worry Alistair,” V hisses. “Just sign this, everything will be okay.”

Thursday, 11 June 2009

A few strays

A few photos slipped past my naming conventions. 

Still working out whether they’re bits of a lung, egg carton box, or just some old dust.

bounty2 bounty1

Wednesday, 10 June 2009

Quitting smoking II

Today is the beginning of the third month i have refrained from jumping back onto the smoking bandwagon, and a few weeks since I allowed a friend to smoke, in the flat, and didn't jump him in an attempt to pry his cigarette from his dead and mortifying grasping hands.

I feel i have made progress. 

Previous periodic attempts at stopping (not including those induced by the assistance of flu), somewhat failed when the slightest whiff would galvanise me into a frenzy, and scurrying for the nearest shop.  Now, nothing!  Things are so good (or bad)  my local newsagents taken on the roll of my own personal pusher.  Telling me (jokingly before anyone gets upset) how wonderful the cancer sticks are, and are you sure you don't need a pack?

The increasing greyness started to give me slight pause for concern, as it refused to go away.  But now that seems to have crashed into a plateau, and the itch for a full body transplant or at least donating myself for full body skin graft experimentation has passed.

Even more progress.

The other thing, which has not only hit a plateau but started a full retreat, was the need to constantly stuff my face during every waking moment; and the odd dream which, if i've correctly remembered, also included stuffing.

Progress.

Taking a look at my previous little table... oh, have months to go before the next momentous gp visit check.

Time

The theory

The actual

3 – 9 months

Coughing and wheezing declines.

Shall wait and see.

initially no - 6 mths to go

1 year

Risk of heart attack reduces by half compared to that of a smoker.

As above.

tbc

10 years

Risk of lung cancer falls to about half that of a smoker.

As before.

tbc

15 years

Risk of coronary heart disease is the same as a non-smoker.

Aren't I dead or uploaded yet!

tbc

Even aol/carphone warehouse have come up trumps, reduced my monthly subscription (obviously to retain a good customer) and sent a lovely shiny new router from which i promptly removed the wireless aerial and disabled the wireless connection.  Sorry but living on a main road with cars/lorries/coaches driving or parking less that 9ft away for hours on end, current wireless security just doesn't hack it.

And in the interest of keeping data flow going, here's a bit about me...

 A bit about me, up close and personal

Tuesday, 9 June 2009

Luckless

This sniffive is nothing concerning elections nor climate, in fact it’s replete purview solely rests with the sole about an iron, that i purchased from argos yesterday in an attempt to shuffle off the disreputable look and look slightly less street or ghetto, or as friends say, the bum look and walk around with a few less cresses peppering my carcass.

In the event i plumped for…

Argos Value Range ETA-21C Steam Iron 410 1572

a bog standard iron, to take out of its dusty corner once a month (or less) to do its job.

What i ended up with however was an iron that you poured the water in, tipped the iron up and the water poured out the bottom right hole of the soleplate onto all over the shirt i was de-creasing, turned the ironing board (whatever happened to xtreme ironing?), into paddling pool and what should have taken two minutes ended up taking 24 minutes and soon after the object packed and ready for shipping back.

Maybe it’s me, maybe my luck’s upped and deserted, or maybe something’s telling me stop been a cheapskate and stop shopping in that rubbish store.

The list so far:

  1. Glass top - chipped on delivery, and a palaver to get replaced.
  2. Gas assisted chair – broken after six months.
  3. Irrigating iron.

but on the opposite part of the equation; a kettle and toaster purchased five years ago, are still in fine working order.

Wonder what’s changed? Ah yes, my luck.

Monday, 8 June 2009

Good riddance?

Sadly yes monsieur purnell, i finger that label your way.

In this, the day of super-power like computing capabilities, the fact his old service is still unable to provide a honed and targeted individual package for someone to effectively get back into employment, is an indictment of the failure of his tenure in that post.

It’s surely not restricted to the realms of rocket science or polymaths to work out what needs to be done.  Or maybe it is, and i'm simply barking at a reflection of myself looking at the moon.  

Provide targeted training/courses to the growing ranks of the unemployed and not the mickey-mouse/happy-meal type schemes they're so fond of trotting out just to have a good sound bite come question time.

But that requires, oh, thinking!  Thinking of actually improving the lot of other people and not just trying to ensure their own tarnished pots of lucre are full to overflowing.

Over a quick couple of minutes even i popped up with this scatty list.

  1. What do people want to do?
  2. What jobs are available on the market?
  3. Are business willing to allow people who are on decent courses the time to work, learn & train?
  4. Will there be a decent level of payment (for employee/trainer and employer alike) or will it just turn into viewing a revolting new dole face every 6 months?
  5. At the end will the claimant gain that bit of essential paper, will they have the possibility of improving their skills, get into work, or simply thrown back on the pile?

New technology, new industries are growing whilst the vast majority of growing unemployed are missing out on the benefits these potential avenues could foster, as the country itself loses out, and all whilst the ferrets continue to fight amongst themselves.

It's time the country stopped relying on esoteric services and outsourcing its soul, to once more have another science/industrial renaissance capable of producing tangible decent goods that people can actually use, that has function, reduces our energy hostage value, cuts down our dependence on energy companies; and heaven forbid helps (however belatedly) our environment and makes people net exporters to the nation. 

So as the start of this rabid uttering of pitiful rubbish says. Good riddance!

Sunday, 7 June 2009

Resulting eu

The initial eu results are in, and apart from the dinosaur parties....  initial results indicate that people are more concerned about immigrants than the future of the planet.

Oh well.

Go humanity!

Friday, 5 June 2009

Faith & culture

When faith and culture stomps on human rights (and no not the right of a murderer to be released to murder again - that's just a nonsense argument) then faith & culture are no longer useful.

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

Drinking binge

Not long after the 24 hour drinking laws came into effect into the UK and long before the ban on drinking on public transport started, i stopped working nights. 

Working nights at the start of a weekend (beginning on a thursday) wasn’t fun, unless you were in a similar state to the drunks just kicked out of the nearest pub and making their way to a club.  Booze, well the smell of booze – whether from a can or regurgitated, packed the bloody-window-wont-open roasting cans as they filled up heaving from stop to stop.

That was the start. 

At the end of my working week, it would be 8am in the morning, and i’d been at it for 10 hours.   On the trip back there was nothing nicer and sweeter than taking out a can and watching those disgusted looks sweeping you up down, or a refined wrinkling of the nose from those still groggy from an early awakening.   Then the cogs would turn.

it’s 8am and he’s drinking!

Must be a wino!  Before our dear amy was even out of nappies. 

Tramp.

Dole scum.  Or just scum.

When it was nothing more harmful than relaxing after a hard nights work and enjoying a nice refreshing drink, so by time I reached home all that was left was a quick shower before slow unwinding and bed.

Monday, 1 June 2009

Sharing the pain

In secretive corners of the film, music, software, television industries around the globe; executives and their leaches - sorry lawyers, have finally come up with the perfect way of getting intellectual copyrights extended to not 150 years, but to infinity. 

The dinosaurs won't be happy until every last file sharer is incarcerated 'til the end of time.  And so with their mouths to whispering silky words into the ears of lawmakers they vilify the crooks, criminals, thieves and miscreants; without whom finances of their hallowed companies would be "immeasurably off the scale"!

Most other industries actually call the vast majority of those people customers, but who's quibbling. 

Yes, they've finally realised that if it's good for religions, con-artists, and politicians, it's also good for them.  Just keep banging out the same nonsensical message and eventually people will start to believe there must be something to it, and come around to their way of thinking.

Sadly, in today's interconnected, news in a nanosecond world, a growing number of people have realised what a crock of overpriced crap they've been peddled, and whilst a few of the artists get to share in the good times the majority don't, as money's dolled & drained way before it's spread too thin.  Leaving the disgusted masses to revolve with their feet or at least siphon with their mice.

Friday, 22 May 2009

Blousey blues

Not sure why, but today's found me in foul humours, the sort where you could readily rip the head from some offending person, tear out their spine, drink their blood and throw away the lifeless skin bag without a care in the world. 

Yes, not a good start to the morning!

Probably brought on by having my sleep half broken by remonstrating people.

After having a black coffee - no cigs, and then hearing a pimped up noise mobile screeching along and past the window, my thoughts turned to wondering whether double civic-loyalty points for lobbing a grenade through their open window, or laser/saser/tasering their brains out just before the car explodes or wondering just how far it would need to plummet before the sudden deceleration forced the stuff the law none seat-belt wearer to explode through the - hopefully, reinforced window screen; would ever be given!

Yes a very bad morning.

Started then stopped listening to the news, as a momentary chink in the event horizon of savagery dared flicker across my seething consciousness.  Oh yes, for a few brief moments i felt at one with major kong.

But as i noticed plants that needed watering, a red haze lifted, and all was once more well with the world.

Thursday, 21 May 2009

Never had it so bad

For the rich and the vast majority of wee poor, food - of what ever standard, is available without the onerous need to till the land, or travel to to far,  avoiding starvation able to fill ones belly.

We can travel, we can obtain medicine, even the generic basics to keep everything going - either paying or free at the point of need.

We're generally un-harassed regardless of our viewpoints, unless we point, jab and spit in our opponents eye, and despite the uk been the most surveillanced country in the world.

So pig snufflers have been caught.  Which one of us over the many years have truly believed that particular nest of vipers didn't contain any?  If the media were to begin considering what other public bodies or private companies (especially the heads of), get up to with their bonus', expenses, jaunts and yachts, they'd be printing expense details from now until the end of time.

With so many of the old snuffling guard not standing at the next election, there'll be a heck of a lot of new unknowns, whose agendas, affiliations and secret children won't really get the fully drilled tabloid treatment many of them might deserve; indeed many will slip through into battlefield ranks unskinned.  With a high probability landslide around the corner, I wonder what other freedoms we'll suddenly have to start fighting for all over again.

A perfect country?  No, far from it. But compared to quite a few others around the globe, it really aint to bad.

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Eat thyself future boy

My initial thoughts upon seeing the super-soldier of the future (2030) skirted the flippant nonsensical - bit like this particular post, to wondering why they were wasting so much money, time and unnecessary duplication; when a flash of perspiration dribbled down my chin.

Images and photo courtesy of newscientist  usarmy although for some strange reason the photo image from the usarmy only popped up after been accessed via google, and not direct - so had to do a bit of shopping... eek!

mg20227094.000-3_750  army.mil-26425-2008-12-03-081215s 

Someone had solved all those particular problems (if in a slightly less hi-tech way) thousands of years ago. Just point a stick and say your cause is just and true.  Voilà! Before you know it a crusade or jihad.  Problem solved. Instant, thoughtless (apart from what you tell them to think), fighting machines.

Doped up - so as not to think.  Shocked - to know when to think. But they forgot to include the micro-bacterial food implants which would provide months of nourishment at a time.  The little critters will be taking all the energy they'd need from available light, the soldiers recyclables (yes in keeping with the tone of a previous post, what i meant to say is; shit, piss) and moisture from the air. 

Oh yes, nothing nicer than nourishing yourself.

Perhaps it's me but i'm thinking, just change the colour slightly...   and...

superfutureboy

its a starship trooper.

Tale of two stories

So here are two different takes on the same breaking story, from two organisations that are not really known for their barking at the moon mentality! 

The guardian

guardian1

The bbc

bbc1

And the paper that's been breaking on the trough snufflers over the past few days?

The telegraph

telgraph1

So as with all things that fly across the; ether, net, air, papyrus or other, not only needs a pinch of salt, but very own personal quarry.

Tuesday, 19 May 2009

Tits above

Warning! Content contains rude words - eek!

I've never really understood why it's fine to watch dismemberment, or send people abroad in our name to die, or allow the continued construction and research into ever more horrific weapons; yet we get all up-tight when it comes down to sex or bodily functions? 

What a fucked up, twisted around, arse above tit global society we've become.

I mean, when people pick their nose they say they're picking their nose, and not excuse me whilst i re-align my mucous membranes; although the way things are going, even that might be taken the wrong way.

Instead of saying i've just had a colon cleanse, what's wrong with saying i've just had my arse cleaned!  Obviously something financial institutions and political parties forgot to include in their respective recruitment clauses.

How big do your nuts grow?

Yes summers ongoing march is slowly fritzing the last few cells of responsibility and it's nearly time to get ready for those paunches over belts, wobbly knees and smelly public transport links that makes you wish for the return of nosegays.

But in the meantime the nuts i'd planted, that finally poked their heads above soil and looked like...

From small nuts ... at the start of april.

Now, nearing the end of may, all seven are still growing and are looking more like ...

mygrowingconkers1

... and I think six will soon be in need of new homes.

Monday, 18 May 2009

Now we wait

The LTTE have been defeated.

How will the Tamil minority now be treated? 

If the Sri Lankan majority treat them with respect - despite the past two decades war and numerous horrors, they will as a people have taken a major step forward. 

Time.

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Online tents

Good to see that the empire is getting its thoughts around to making a few more millions.

So we have a paper - let's say the Times, about 70 pages with 50 pages of adverts, cost 85p?  So average article's about 1/3 a page so that'll give us a grand total per article of £0.01p per article.

At a cost of a penny per article, I might just be tempted to pop down to my local library and read it there, if i must. But i'm sure there'll be countries around the world more than happy to provide a feed.  Either that or some smart alec will twitter the best bits.

And like tents in a gale, there goes another one...

Friday, 8 May 2009

A paucity of pygmies

The government's been more than happy to bail out banks to the tune of $2.26*tn, yet they have thousands of people on the streets who are homeless.

Imagine if they took 1 percent of that whopping £1.5tn.  They could, at let's say £80k per new built flat (bit more expensive for a house), build at least 187,000 new flats. 

But that would hit the housing market, and people would lose money they've sunk into treating housing as just another commodity.  But there'd be no homelessness!  Everyone, or at least nearly everyone in the country, would finally have a roof over their heads.  It'd be cheaper than constantly having soul destroying meeting after soul destroying meeting carping on that there's just not enough housing, what are we to do. 

Who know's whole new towns with new infrastructure, new jobs (the new tech's) could be created, and with the mistakes learned from the disasters of the past, perhaps they could be avoided this time around.

Imagine 187,000 new flats, with the fastest easily upgraded broadband service, excellent public transport links, excellent community facilities, excellent green spaces, the latest environmentally efficient technologies, recycling, solar heating, solar powering, if done properly these could be feeding electricity back into the grind, and for how the old pollution ridden cities could be.

But as vision is the one thing seemingly lacking in today's uk, it'll probably only happen when things really freeze over.

Oh yes, how much would 187k homes contribute towards council tax payments alone per year?  £172mn.

* $/£ rate of 1.5069 as at 13:15 8th May 2009

Saturday, 2 May 2009

Glorious

Last nights glorious sunset just had to be snapped.  And like Douglas Adams' fabulous sheep, every sunset's a new day.

2nitsskle

Friday, 1 May 2009

Chesties

No, nothing to do with spare pork ribs, fried avian wings or bbq'd legs.  But, there is a lovely picture of bubbling beans.

Horse chesty seedlets, 30th April 2009

DSCF2152

Bubbling beans

beans

An extra, stray

spid1

Thursday, 30 April 2009

In to the out

It's always funny listening to the arguments been used to keep the 48 hour opt out, and keeping it going come hell or high water.  

At one stroke - whilst blaming it on those lazy arsed european politicians - you could ensure that no one in the country has to work more than 48 hours per week.  

What better way of ensuring wealth, equality and increasingly scarce work is distributed amongst those who have been left out in the current cold clime.  I doubt - but naturally I could be wrong, whether it's the vast majority of employees scrambling to hoist the repel-all-borders-flag up a flag post, or going 'of course I want to work a 100 hours a week, I really really really love my job.' 

Those who enjoy ticking off the hours are usually the ones whose pension pots makes the income of a small city visibly pale in comparison.  Whose main thoughts lay on the side of accruing huge wealth simply for the sake of it. 

But spare a thought for those whose working hours miraculously merge into unpaid overtime hours, who believe they have no choice, and no option.  If they're lucky, they'll have seen that innocuous bit of paper hinting at the concept of loyal paternalism; of course you want to work more than 48 hours to make this the worlds greatest and successful company, don't you?

Indicating that you wish to keep your legal opt-in, immediately marks you out as a glass-ceilinged shirker.

But in the meantime they really should drop the name Working Time Limits and give it its proper title; let's work the buggers till they drop.

empspfdm

Now then, who mentioned flu sniffing?

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Washing hands?

With the not yet pandemic scale of what's turning out to be an interesting outbreak of flu, It's a bit disturbing that people have to be told; don't sneeze on someone, and wash your hands.  Eew, eew, EEW!

Perhaps they should start teaching the basics in schools and religious institutions, before even bothering to wonder where the flu came from, how it evolved, unless of course its been created by some intelligent designer with a great big designer laboratory behind him or her.

Ban it

Ban everything, as we've finally discovered that everything - in one way or another - is bad for us.  We should, on that fact alone, ban everything!

Ban going outside.  As thunderous hailstones or lightning or a falling plane might put an end to a life.

Ban cars, and not only from the obvious the amount of pollution they exude, but for the cars habit of bursting into flames, careering into drivers, pedestrians, bollards and eventually ending up as scrap in a river somewhere poisoning a food source.

Ban watching tv.  As too much tv watching rots the brain and has it oozing out and down the dead persons double chin.

Ban food, due to its toxicity and the fact people only end up stuffing their face, and taking up more than one seat in economy.

Ban flying, just in case a toilet comes hurtling out the sky.

Ban anyone who wants to ban anything.

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Parachutes ahoy

So those who are earning more than £150,000 are boo-hoo-ing that they'll have to pay an extra £2,900 per year, in tax.   Are they aware that that £2,900 they are paying is the equivalent of 87% just over two million people have to live on? 

So will the new 50% tax rate produce the threatened mass exodus of talent from the city of london?  Hopefully.  Just feel sorry for the next city the talent decide to land on and improve.

The real beneficiaries from this budget are the under 25's and those isa savers who are, or will be 50 by the time october 2009 comes around, and can take advantage of the higher saving levels. 

Oh yes and those who buy the gilts and bonds to pay for it.

22-04-09

earth-sos

 

for more

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Prick that nutty bubble

As bubbles come and go, it's surely time for the fundamental bubble to be pricked before it pops and takes half the world with it. 

Did anyone really expect pres. mahmoud ahmadinejad to do or say anything else?  I'm sure he's one of the escaped spitting image puppets that's had some life breathed into it and and is running amok, wrecking revenge.  And then we have the unfolding debacle in pakistan, give us what we want and we'll think about giving up arms... ha, no we won't.  If they (fundis) believe those of their same delusional belief system who have no truck and wish to have no truck with their delusions should be eradicated, as well as those who believe in a different version of the same delusion should be eradicated; how did the authorities ever believe they could agree anything that didn't, at some stage, involve that time honoured tradition of having fingers crossed behind your backs.

Onto happier and more lighter moments.  The horse chestnuts are doing remarkably well.

Let's have a quick recap of the timeline so far...

2nd april 2009
12th april
020409 120409

... and now how they look today.

21st april 2009
DSCF2139 DSCF2140

Friday, 17 April 2009

Nails

"At what stage will you wake up to realise you no longer have any freedom?

Perhaps you never will, as you no longer know, what freedom is."

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Ambassadorial duties

I wouldn't know a past participle from a split infinitive if it hit me over the head with a pa... damn, used that one already.

But moving on to other pointless things, its a bit of a slap in the face when your nominees are rebuffed by the representative of the word.  Perhaps pres o. is looking at it in the wrong way.  As the pontiff obviously only wishes to be surrounded by nodding ducks, then perhaps he (obama) should just send a sack-full of them.  Which should be more than sufficient for the amount of sense which would be exchanged anyway.

Oh yes, forgot to show my support in the previous poke at religious nuttery.

SupportDenmark2EN

Well better 3 ¾ years late to show some free speech solidarity than not at all.

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Colour views

Extremist views on racism strangely coalesce when you reach the edges of the debate. 

Regardless of the the colour of a persons skin, the more extreme their particular view on race (whichever race), the more in common they have with their counterparts.  Sort of a racist code of diametric agreement.  The extremes of the brotherhood feel they are, or have been, or will be the victims.  Both feel to have been oppressed or held back or overlooked by those in power.  Invaded, discriminated against and the interlopers should be kicked out. 

And luckily, the web allows us all to be on our guard.  To say no.  Things can be different. 

Monday, 13 April 2009

Three cheers?

The problem with waking up and starting to early...

“I have to kill the children and my wife and send them to heaven. I don’t care about killing myself and going to hell.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/13/nyregion/13shoot.html?ref=nyregion

and in another part of the globe...

"Shop warned for selling offensive shoes

The customer protection section (cps) recently seized shoes with the name of god printed on them.

The department announced that the shop was selling shoes in direct violation of rules and regulations and could not be tolerated. The acting head of the cps, said that the department's inspectors acted swiftly following a report from one of the customers [read busy body, curtain twitcher, righteous angry, or another shop owner getting rid of the competition].

The department investigated the report on the spot and concluded the complaint was genuine, and inspectors acted immediately.

Inspectors raided and seized huge quantities of shoes and summoned the shop owner to the the Department. He was ordered to sign a pledge never to import that type of shoes in future and the shop was issued an official warning, a copy of which was kept in the shop's file.

The shop was penalised as per article no. 10 of the penalty scheme, which stipulates that those who circulate products that directly harm islamic laws and the decency code, are penalised.

This was not the first time, the department's inspectors had seized shoes with the name of god printed on them, in a way which badly harms muslim feelings.

She called on the public to be extremely careful when they make purchases in the emirate and to contact the department in case of any possible doubts."

http://archive.gulfnews.com/nation/General/10303246.html

and elsewhere, but a different time...

"They tell me to burn in hell and good riddance,"

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7853325.stm

 

Reviewers noose

A reviewer (freelance mind) of Origins:Wolverine gets the chop by pasting a review, in which he also mentions, he'd seen it via the web. 

The actions of his erstwhile employer, fox, is to sack him.  The same fox which is now related to the old big daddy of usa news journalism, the new york times; yes incest's on the menu.  They and the film co's seem to have lathered an amount of free pre-fervour advertising for the film that, if otherwise conducted via usual channels, have added a good few extra zeros on top of an already large budget.  Maybe it's all part of the overall plan and he'll be back working for them in no time at all, or maybe he thought it would slip by unnoticed, especially with most of the industry snarling away in sweden barring - if only half - charges at the pirate bay.

But it jogged a memory. And I recalled the last time this occurred, admittedly only stargate sg1's final days - with way less budgetary requirements to claw back than origins will require.  But it was strange how and with it not happening before, the final two episodes (minus vfx or full sound fx) managed to escape carefully vetted security clutches and ping themselves online.  Surprisingly, the extra publicity pulled in more people than the studios expected, and - probably - helped to assist with the planned films.  Yes, all very strange.  And strangely to, that particular episode hasn't satisfactorily been solved to this day, well not that i've heard anything about.

So yes, x-men origins:wolverine is available for download via any p2p service - without the vfx.  Which, if it's any good, will wet peoples curious appetite ensuring the seed's successfully planted and ready for the films release.  And people will subconsciously prime themselves to experience the films huge sensation-numbing thx greatness.  After all, as tobacco companies have more or less been indicating publicly for years, "just because it's out there, and plastered on everything, of course people won't be influenced to buy."  If it's any good. 

Content producers will have to climb out of their bunkers and start engaging in a more meaningful way the very people they are supposedly producing the films, the books, music for.  Yes the consumers.  As opposed to just thinking "how much money can we make from the suckers." To engage them when they produce something that's really good, as well as admitting when they've produced a total dogs breakfast and not worth the popcorn squashed onto the cinema floor let alone cinema ticket, and give something back to those who have wasted good money.  But no doubt that would lead to another can of worms with people saying everything they've seen is crap and where's my next freebie!

The days when consumers were nose-led by old media dinosaurs is, hopefully, diminishing. But deep within darkened tunnels (golf courses) a rear guard action continues by those who want nothing more than to get back to the good old days of totally dictating how consumers can use a particular piece of media, then gouge them for as much as possible, all the while bringing out the most mediocre rubbish, minus the odd sparkling gem, as possible.

Silly mistake by roger friedman? Potentially, time will tell. 

Brilliant free advertising for the film?  Way beyond anything the companies probably hoped for. 

Will I see it when it's out?  Damn, should have booked front seat tickets.  x-men

Sunday, 12 April 2009

Spring colours

Something natural, lighter and strangely hopeful.

Yes i'm growing horse chestnuts, but out of 12 planted only seven have poked heads above soil.

The first pic was taken on the 2nd of April, and the 2nd take a few moments before posting.  At this rate, barring a very bad frost, in a months time the horse chestnut seedlings will have to be given new homes.

Pic 1 2nd April 2009

020409

Pic 2: 12th April 2009

120409

And although the angle of capture's slightly different, in the 1st picture you can just see the second shoot popping up out of the soil on the right hand side, which in the second picture is the one just about to open its leaves, in the lower right hand side.

Ah yes before I forget and get totally carried away, here's the lovely spring climbing rose and yellow something which escapes me.

Pic 3: 2nd April 2009

020409.1

So let it be

For the moments that have gone, and the moments that are.

so_let_it_be

Saturday, 11 April 2009

Flapping through the breeze

Brings a different twist to it.

"It's hard to fathom and digest,

but I digress.

A world-wind flapping through the breeze,

stopping, making us think.

An alien's invaded,

1600 pennsylvania avenue.

Four more years?  An unbearable crutch.

Navigating craters, leaping superbowls of dust,

avoiding the on-rushing surge,

of apocalypses surrounded by armageddons.

But thankfully it's finally happened,

an alien's invaded 1600 pennsylvania avenue.

When that last drop of oil dribbled to a stop,

so, so long ago, and the world descended

into old fashioned mowing,

and killing and dicing, of lands anew.

Peace finally happened, when an alien landed,

and invaded 1600 pennsylvania avenue."

Nothing's ever perfect

So much to do, so little time and a quarter of the year's already slipped into the clutches of history, whoever records that history. 

But at least in the future, if bright sparks ensure the technical information regarding the plethora of codecs are kept, our descendents will be able to enjoy streaming hours of chortling fun wondering how we managed to survive and even more amazed at why we would watch knowing, directly into their cortex.

 

Us


Them

Kettling and the herding of dissenters, as all protesters are potential terrorists/anarchists and "deserve what they get."


The cafetiere's on and they're huddling around after the bust up (well except in metropolitan suburbs after inter-racial riots).

Bosses send out emails or sms's informing employees they're fired. Employees grumble, shout a few words then shuffle off to the dole queue.


Workers receive emails. Proceed to lock bosses in broom cupboards, dust off and put on scratched editions of la terreur blanche.

Police and strikers stand around, barracking, goading each other, exuding nothing but loathing and pure contempt.


Police and strikers barrack and goad each other, then afterwards get down to a good chin-wag, some decent lunch and talk about the shocking state of the world.

Renaissance in the home cooking of cabbage.


Wondering who in their right mind would eat bubble & squeak.

Starting to realise the thatcher & blair years might not have been quite so enjoyable, for the vast majority after all.


Trying to catch up to the thatcher & blair years.

And as the start of another good friday comes to an end, it's good to know that at least the weather is keeping to the wonderful tradition of providing a cold, rain-sodden, miserable bank holiday experience.

Friday, 10 April 2009

Easter

Wishing everyone a contented easter.

AOL contracts

My aol contract is up in two days time and I decided to give them a call to discover what they could offer someone who has been with them for (it transpires after been told) nearly nine years.

Yes, after nearly nine years of faithful dedication as all my peers shot by on the speed stakes and laughed at my paltry 2mb then 6.7mb instead of 8mb, I stuck and remained with them. Even after missing out on the laptop or ps3 offer the last time my contract was up, I remained a faithful and loyal customer.

The past week has been spent champing at the bit, waiting until a couple of days before the end to look around and seeing what else was available before making that call.

Nine long years.

When does loyalty pay off?

Apparently never if you're an aol customer. Even surgery's give you excellent treatment for been loyal nowadays. But not, it seems, aol.

hallelujah!

We talked and I was congratulated at been one of the lucky ones to receive nearly 7mb speeds as many get less than that.

hallelujah!

And we can throw in a free wireless router? I already have two.

hallelujah!

I notice you don't have a bundle, let me do a quick calculation... we can offer you a full package for £25 per month.

That's nice, but that's £5 more expensive than i'm paying now and I have my services with separate providers!

After nearly nine years as a loyal customer, the best they can offer (for me to receive the same service) is a price increase of 25%.

HALLELUJAH!

Thursday, 9 April 2009

Hacking the light fantastic

After all the to-ing and fro-ing, by the us over the gary mckinnon case, it now comes out that most if not all the energy & utility networks are moled through by pesky spies of the commie persuasion!

With the scale of devastation any potential governmental hackers (unofficial or otherwise) might cause, shouldn't the government be bringing the same amount of disproportionate force down to bear on those infiltrating the life blood of the country, as it has and is currently undertaking against gary.   Who, let us not forget, was only looking for proof of ufo's.

Could this be the first salvos in the real life serialisation of Jericho?  Must dig out some popcorn.

The great unlimited debate

Well not really great, and not really a debate.  Perhaps the asa requires an up to date dictionary whilst returning the one they were forced to borrow from ofcom.

Today, well it was a while back - before i had a break, (and lo and behold they've popped along 'n snuck something in for a rescue), the british advertising standards authority (asa) allowed mobile companies to use the word unlimited in their advertising, regardless of the fact that an advert (which sparked the initial complaint) from carphone warehouse's spin-off - e2save; had in microscopic handy small print a clause stating unlimited meant, "data transfer that is limited to 250mb per month".

Now before i popped the word (unlimited) into a couple of online dictionaries, i wandered through the dusty reaches of the vast echoing emptiness that passes for my mind, searching for the accumulating morass of meanings i'd come to understand and associate with the term unlimited.

From everything i dredged up, i could only deduce one over arching meaning.  It meant without cap.  Endless.  Goes on and on and on and ... the antonym of limited.  You know, the full 180-about-faced-slap-reversing-two-sided turn.

The sort of scenario where if fund manager were to say "'i'm going to ensure your income returns are unlimited," you know to keep them talking whilst pressing the fed button.  But back to the definitions...

A quick brief clip from the free dictionary

un·lim·it·ed (n-lm-td) adj.

1. Having no restrictions or controls: an unlimited travel ticket. 2. Having or seeming to have no boundaries; infinite: an unlimited horizon. 3. Without qualification or exception; absolute: unlimited self-confidence.

Even if they'd utilised version number 2, who in their right mind then went on to suggest that 250mb was just peachy?

And just in case i've copypasted the wrong bits, here's another from merriam-webster

1 : lacking any controls : unrestricted <unlimited access> 2 : boundless , infinite <unlimited possibilities> 3 : not bounded by exceptions.

So a term and its meaning, which has more or less been agreed upon since the 15th century, the asa and ofcom have decided (seemingly) to hijack, for the benefit of... the industry.

Wednesday, 8 April 2009

Thoughts

Heartfelt condolences, thoughts and best wishes with the people of L'Aquila.

Sometimes governments are quick and speedy enough to get things done; other times lumbering bureaucracy and face saving get in the way of helping to rebuild.

There are many ways of keeping up to date with the current level of disasters occurring around the globe, and for more than a five minute hand wringing and further information:

Make a difference, get involved.

Pension stakes bilious bile

Would the backlash and floggings so many fervently wish to heap up against the ex-masters of the universe have been so great, had the banks (retail) and bankers not been so adamant about the righteousness and moral certitude of the overdraft fees and interest charges, they said everyone who had the audacity should expect as a penalty for been lax with their money.

On that level, with the way they forecast this historic record breaking run, they should be put in stocks for at least two years and pelted on a regular basis with: turnips, offal, fed the weakest of gruel, and then have all their assets foreclosed on.

Good to see the shareholders of rbs, voting by a whopping 90% to register disapproval, a shame more didn't vote in previous years.  True the talent might have flown to other institutions, but then there still might have been an independent non-merged bank.  And with this sort of talent spotting, i'd rather try my luck winning the national-lottery jackpot prize four times in a row.

So, in the great unemployment banking stakes

poor average-pay sods: 29,999  vs.  really rich trouter: 1
(or put another way,
newly unemployed rbs employee: £3,343.60p pa.  vs.  ex-head-trout:  £702,000 pa.)

But, could the whole financial meltdown have a silver lining?

The very first paragraph of the first page of the executive summary of the ipcc climate change and water says:

"observational  records  and  climate  projections  provide  abundant  evidence  that  freshwater  resources are  vulnerable  and  have  the  potential  to  be  strongly  impacted  by  climate  change,  with  wide-ranging consequences for human societies and ecosystems."

executive summary, ipcc, climate change & water 2008.

With so much freshwater used for industrial/farming use, maybe this will allow us some breathing space to speed up alternative energy creation, improve energy use efficiency, and drastically reduce the waste we lax consumers in so many countries create.

... now where's that picture again ...

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Quitting smoking?

I've given up smoking. 

Well I say given up.  I am on the cusp of the fifth week without lighting up or having the remotest inclination of inhaling one. 

Do I feel any better?

I've been smoking for the last 24 years.   Ranging anywhere from 10 cigs per day to over a 100 fags when socially stress-pressed.   And then one day, four weeks ago, I stopped.  Stopped without needing the usual cold, flu or other bodily ailment as an excuse to refrain from the mad morning scramble of opening a packet, lighting up and inhaling along with my first coffee of the day. 

Ate far less though, as breakfast all the way through till lunch simply comprised of cigarettes and large barrels of coffee.

I thought I'd look and see what health benefits would occur under this newly discovered additional bout of abstinence that's joined the ones of sex, recreational helpers, and the way its going - alcohol, all careering off into the distance, without a religious conversion anywhere in sight!

Time

The theory

The actual

20 minutes

Blood pressure and pulse returns to normal.

From all the blood pressure and pulse tests I have had done in the past, better than most non-smokers let alone smokers.

no

8 hours

Nicotine and carbon monoxide levels in blood reduce by ½, oxygen levels return to normal and circulation improves.

Oxygen and carbo levels were always very good.

no

24 hours

Carbon monoxide and nicotine levels are eliminated from the body.

Never noticed anything different here.

no

48 hours

Ability to taste and smell improves.

Well i can certainly begin to smell london. Didn't realise people bathed in cologne or perfume. Or seemingly nothing at all. Ewwww!

not sure

3 days

Breathing becomes easier as your bronchial tubes begin to relax.

Stopped sounding like a slightly old steam train first thing in the morning, so that's been a plus.

yes

Few days

Fingers lose their yellow stains and skin looks better.

Never ever had those yellow stained fingers. But could have been mistaken for one of the greys from roswell on a muggy dawn.

maybe

1 month

Appearance improves, skin loses greyish pallor and becomes less wrinkled.

A few days to go for this one, but the way the body's deciding to break out and looking more like a relief map of a rice pudding bowl, i'm starting to have my doubts.

starting to

3 – 9 months

Coughing and wheezing declines.

Shall wait and see.

tbc

1 year

Risk of heart attack reduces by half compared to that of a smoker.

As above.

tbc

10 years

Risk of lung cancer falls to about half that of a smoker.

As before.

tbc

15 years

Risk of coronary heart disease is the same as a non-smoker.

Aren't I dead or uploaded yet!

tbc

I do seem to need more sleep - if that were possible. But that would cut into the 16 hours I spend in front of the computer screen, anyway. 

Eating more, but have cut down on alcohol, down from 1818+units (and had to check a couple of times to make sure) a month to less than 15 units a month.   The upshot is that i will have to take up some form of exercise; there's only so much leeway hereditary genetics will allow the body, before it irrecoverably passes beyond pear shape. 

On this the turn of a cusp week i'm starting to feel something hinting of a beneficial turn, the skin is starting to feel as if its mine again. 

Along with that, the past few months have seen an increase in the flats population of greenery. Help combat the diesel/petrol fumes pouring in from the street as well as gaseous exhausts from my ever increasing bean-laden diet, by adding wonderful surplus amounts of oxygen into the air.  But just in case it does, I'll need to take more antioxidants (fruit/veg and vitamin/mineral supplementation) to combat the potential increase in free radical.

p45's

Amused by the increasing appearance on tv of people who have joined the lengthening unemployment queues. My advise?  Don't worry or panic. It will only become unmanageable if you really let it get to you.  Cut down what you can, cut out what you can sensibly cut out, ensure you eat properly.  As if you let that go, you could end up as a dreaded er statistic.

Liberty?

Sigh. The laudable cry of sovereignty once more rings out as new eu elections are set to take place, in less than three months time.

It's always worrying listening to people who are more intent of talking over and interrupting people to ensure their point is heard when cameras are rolling.  But who's interest does the multi-mill/billionaire business leaders serve, since very rarely does it appear to truly benefit the general populace?  Oh right theirs. No doubt someone somewhere will believe its a microsoft or chinese or russian plot to derail and destabilise the eu powerhouse from the inside.

There must be many people in constituent countries who are able to name ten members of their parliamentary betters and at least five of their eu reps. Why, here in the uk there's jacqs, gord, vince, dave (at least six of them), and for the eu, there's... er.... where's me list...

But when the time arrives i'll have read the blurbs, gone with me guts and scratched my green name; so later down the line I can say "I was robbed" and "that was a bloody wasted vote" with a modicum of self-righteous contentedness.

Yippee!  By 2018 every new built building in the eu will be required to produce as much energy as they consume.  2018?  Nine years time?  The rise in sea-level will probably have put paid to that, as the mad scramble to build-build-build to relocate coastline refugees picks up a soggy pace, and the last thing people will be thinking about is "does it have a pump!"  Just give everyone a windmill-hat and solar powered kinetic boots.

Tuesday, 31 March 2009

A europe any fundamental corporate fascist would be proud of

If that's not you, click below

blackout-EU-150-1 (1)

"The European Parliament may be about to surrender absolute power over the Internet to the telecom operators.

Under the false premise that market and competition rules will solve all problems, MEPs are about to agree to "Net discrimination" in amendments pushed by AT&T, the UK and French governments..."

Thursday, 19 March 2009

Oh blimey

Blimey, I can almost feel one coming.

But in the meantime here's a quick peek...

panaro1

On other unrelated peeks...
"Right then, let's sort out these training schemes. Who first for a certificate learning how to open a newspaper and turn a page? What, no takers? Okay how about learning how to answer the telephone? No!!! You people are never satisfied."

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away and hours apart ...

"Who wants to do nanotechnology or bio-technology and xenotectonics before taking a break?"

Thursday, 1 January 2009

And a happy new year

I would like to think that 2009 would bring a newly found level of inspired politics, hope and decision making.

But the past 2009 years (going from the christian calendar), haven't exactly brought much in the way of new year peace, happiness, contentedness or well being for the globes population.  Naturally such a sweeping statement doesn't affect a small minority, who will always be fine - regardless.  The vast majority however, will continue to be sidetracked by the petty existence of every day survival, higher loftier thoughts only mulled over by those with the time, the space, the wherewithal to contemplate and hopefully distill, nourishing nuggets down to the rest of us.

So, despite evidence to the contrary, here's to wishing everyone a wonderful and fantastic 2009.

Saturday, 27 December 2008

Government and "yeehaw" training

In this day and age you would think the governments "joined up thinking" would have a included the sensible approach to making sure the increasing millions soon to hit the dole queues, would be eligible to have training.

You know, to keep their skills up. To ensure that when the country pops out of the depression, we'll be in fighting fit form to take on the world and hold our own with a huge array of newly trained and qualified people champing at the bit with a new found vigour, highly toned skills and boundless reams of energy.

You would have thought!

Sadly, this government thinks otherwise and from september 2009 are bringing in a bizarre system, where they will provide funds for people to be trained. They will actually provide 100% of the funding. But with one small proviso. They will give the training providers 20% of the training costs up front. And then (and here's the kicker) they will fund the other 80% once (so making the magic sum of 100%), the unemployed person has found gainful employment within 6 months of them finishing the training course and been unemployed for 6 months.

So? I hear the cry go up, they're getting training, providers are getting paid?

Well imagine this scenario. You're at work and your bosses come up with a scheme, where instead of you getting paid your monthly salary all in one foul swoop, they give you 20%, and say that if you do a really good job and bring in outstanding results at the 1/2 yearly review stage they'll give you the other 80% of your salary in six months time, if you can keep it up.

Happy with it now?

The governments cack-handed approach to this has of course meant that meaningful providers who would have given the unemployed meaningful achievable training routes back into employment or self-employment, are now pulling out in droves. Leaving the really bad, or the ones who can use this now endless supply of even cheaper labour (as they'll get even more money into their coffers), as the only things left for those seriously unemployed; who could well end up to be a new underclass, permanently pinned on the spokes of poverty.

This might have worked when the economy was booming and bust defeated, and jobs were like confetti on ticker tape day. But in the current cooling clime, it is one of the worst ideas they have come up and stuck with.

Once people realise it, the ranks of the disaffected and jump-shippers could finally become a stampede.

Naturally when it is brought in and fails, they will blame the providers for not living up to the schemes expectations. Instead of them standing up, throwing their hands in the air and just going "yep, we cocked up."

This is nothing but a rear-guard action, by a rear-guard rump of a government, for which everyone else is to blame for everything's that happening, and they happily waft about losing the precious few tenuous grips on reality that they once had.

The one happy thought which trickles through peoples mind is, like dust in a storm, they'll be summarily kicked out of power come the prevailing electoral wind. Will things get any better afterwards? Oh where is my sick bag.

We are interconnected as never before. Our prioritise used to be small; the family, the village, the town, the city, the county, then the country states. But we've reached a stage where what happens on one side of the world, will in seconds impact the another. We have to think of ourselves as global citizens, and not the old insular back-biting, back stabbing, parochial entities of old. We have to go beyond the "every person for themselves" motto as that's plainly failed, in all its iterations.

"We are a species that goes beyond our limitations," says Ray Kurzweil. A shame governments religions, and fundamental fruitbats try to place so many restrictions hindering the pace of change, pace of development and pace of fairness for the whole of humankind.

And talking of wheels coming off wagons. Oh dear. Is this already the start of the end, of the obama love-in?

And in keeping with the time of diy, here's my wee little homage to the season of happiness.

Friday, 19 December 2008

With minutes to spare

Just when it looks as if the second brain cells died, it kicks back into life, and with minutes to spare.  So here it is...

Another look at the special christmas countdown; as doom and gloom is scattered around with more liberal abandonment, than anyone knows what to do with.

6xmas

Thursday, 18 December 2008

End of year thoughts - part iii

As good as seeing water turned to wine and world peace announced would be, things just won't be the same.

  1. The few remaining doctors discover a new form of hallucinogenic mushroom growing in the dampness of reservoirs used by the ruling elite in zimbabwe for their drinking water; but are shot as traitors, when they try to administer detox programs.
  2. England win a cricket series 5-0.  The hedgehog cricket series.
  3. Sterling plunges to an all time low against a basket of currencies, as a journalist breaks a remarkable story.  Clambering down a beanstalk, the out of breath daring reporter babbled a story about gold reserves and egg shapes!
  4. China, now the worlds cameras have gone, continues its rounding up of dissidents.  But unlike the old days, dissidents now have greater options under the march towards equality; to be used as canon shot, or as the target.
  5. The un officially declares zimbabwe a dead zone and launches a scathing attack on some of its spineless neighbours.
  6. During the christmas address, the queen experiences momentary confusion and recalls the good old days of blair, sorry thatcher, no atlee.
  7. With the lack of after-office appointments, dinner invitations, or even publishing deals coming his way.  Ex-pres george does a 30 second television advert for clark's shoes.
  8. Fat people are people, who simply have a medical problem - they can't keep their mouths shut.
  9. On an unrelated note, a growing number of dentists have been spotted lurking outside the doors of the nations fast food joints, as a new points system for wiring peoples jaw shut, comes into force.
  10. There is huge rejoicing in the union at the outlawing of slavery.  Sadly the british government blows hearty raspberries in the direction of the rest of the continent, and says it's their prerogative to ensure the peasants are flogged before work, flogged during work and flogged twice after work.  Just to make sure they're working.

But onto a more festive theme...

7xmas

Wednesday, 17 December 2008

Ah where's my precious

After spending two days zombified mortified and petrified, with time zipping off into the sunset, the count continues.

Some currencies are up, some are down.  More murders, killings, rapes, pillaging, plots, stabbing's, charity, love and hope.  More nano, less nano, better medicines, more lawsuits.  There are now more people in the world with more time on their hands.  More time to relax and look back on those hectic years of madness they've wasted.  Some to enjoy the freedom of their gardens, some to spend the time idling behind firm barred doors pretending to be lucy, and yet others soldering on hoping for the time of change.

Think that about sums it up for the past couple of days.

9xmas 

8xmas

Monday, 15 December 2008

Trips through twilight thrice

The journey through twilight land takes on an ever stranger twist.  As the minority, who take drugs, are vilified by the majority (according to figures plucked randomly from news headlines), but taking drugs (which have unspecified/mixed results) for the new application of boosting intelligence, instead of been branded as frankensteinian, for unnatural tampering with the natural processes, are welcomed for the potential helpful boosts that they engender, in uni-tasking capability.

Will these pills be made available for the destitute poor in any country?  You can almost hear thought processes whirring away, they don't even have proper nutrition or access to decent water facilities what do they need the pills for, they'll just be even more acutely aware of their dire circumstances?

Basically good is bad, and bad is good.  Cognitive enhancer's good.  Euphoric enhancer's bad.  Although i'm sure if governments started taxing all drugs, the illicit variety would lose its rebel allure.   More people might start talking more openly; apart, perhaps, from those interested in over familiarity with sheep.  Those who still insist upon there use, would at least be able to pop down to their local pharmacy (for a fee) for the obligatory one minute purity & dna compatibility test, on provision of a properly stamped and vated receipt from the ministry of homeland happiness.  Not only that, but with the tax from smoking and oil diminishing, the money we'll all need in the following years of hardship will have to come from somewhere - instead of our children's futures.

But at the end of the day, even if there's only a 5% chance of boosting brain power, I would more than happily pop such pills.  Why?  It might give the remaining two brain cells a bit more company in this tumbleweed infested carapace, and i'd finally be able to remember the end of...

 

 10xmas