Apple

Dim and distant future…

“Here we are at an apple altar.  You’ll first notice the pair of apple shaped handcuffs - which were, according to historians, used by the faithful who believed they were possessed of a grandiose technologically aesthetically pleasing product; thus inferring a status of awehood.  Naturally  wildly overblown, but during the dark days of blue screens of death and the dark empire, this was one product which miraculously seemed to seamlessly work and work well and was viewed by many as the way forward.  Right, any questions?”

“Is it true they didn’t use solar-cell-motion energy or even replaceable batteries? …  Was it the beginning of the end of the oceans? …   What were the handcuffs for?”

“Well the last question is the easiest to answer; people purchased them, put them on when using the hardware, and waited for instructions from on high!”

Gag ball- sorry tar balls

So balls of tar reach a coastline, not far from where a million litre gusher’s happily gushing; and the coast guard says “the source of the tar balls remains unknown at this time,”  which i suppose is good to know that at least exhaustive tests have finally been carried out.

I’d like to suggest the tar balls are actually future tar balls, from future antartican drilling, and have just popped back a couple of years too soon; to help us get to grips with another strata of oceanic pollution, along with the dead zones, plastic zones, hormone replacement zones, as a possibility. 

Light, in paradise

Just another day in paradise, although technically, this is occurring over stockwell, so that counts as hell.

I’m in a humorous mood, must be the extra inhalation of diesel fumes or the energy from next door.

Light

The new dawning

“They died slumped over a keyboard,
they died happy.
Idioms of a new age;
bash, bash, bash...
privacy for the badger!”

Fun?

Hold on, need to find a dictionary…

Blergh!

So obama comes down on the: don’t take the nutters on the web too seriously as there’s a lot of them out there spouting a lot of nonsense, which is just, well, nonsense!

Very true.

But lest we forget governments and official bodies, aren’t exactly renowned for their virgin whiteness and full halooutwiththetruth first-time rings.  Hand on heart all those who believe governments tell everything warts and all?  Indeed, we’re constantly not told things as there’s a belief that if we knew what was going on, all our heads would explode all in one go, or the vast majority would turn on them for holding onto so much for so long.  Instead we’re told that we’re not told for our own good, or the good of national security, or someone else’s good security, or for the benefit of someones over-swelling bank balance; or just in case a group of terrorists decide to swim up the thames, scale the thames barrier and plant slow-release h1n-something that decimates the entire population of the planet.

Sceptical?  You betcha, but open with it and always up for being proved wrong.

There are times when odd thoughts stray across my visual horizon, like when the fringe of any fundamental belief system undertakes thousands of suicide bombings against their own & other perceived enemies, do they really think “yippie, people will come flocking to us and we’ll show them”; or is it someone (dark and sinister) whispering a bit of nonsense in their ear, which they latched onto, which culminates in their demise, after all how much murder mayhem ministrations can people take, even if things are supposedly done for their benefit and all their lobes have been removed?

So the world turns and new things come along to keep everyone on their toes, never a moment to think, except for their hope it will be better in their child's or grandchild's lifetime, something which if we go back through annals of history seems to be just as old a hope as those looking for a good time involving someone from the oldest profession.

If you ask the vast majority of the globes population, whether they want to invade ‘x’, have war against ‘y’ they’ll probably ask ‘why’ and then go ‘hell-no,’ (probably one of the few times i’ll wholeheartedly agree with something said by one of those who rudely twinge the underpinnings of the nutty fringe), unless they’re attacked first. 

Even those who are suffering privations, generally don’t want war, yet war we continuously have, supplied by people and industries & country’s that have outsourced their arguments to those areas far (in the past at any rate) removed from the immediate outraged eye of their own citizens. 

How can they do that? What would they have to gain? When was the last time you saw a world beating major international weapons manufacturer producing the latest and greatest, in let’s say somalia?  The only thing coming from there now is a brief run on bottles of rum, and even that’s now being ransacked.

So why are we always suckered into it, when in the majority of cases these operations are run by people who have never been in war, never had first hand experience of war, who don’t have off-spring in war and if you said front-line would think first of the riots that occurred many decades ago wherever their nearest riot prone place happened to be, i.e., brixton.

It should be mandatory that if you want to call a war you need to have front-line experience, have lost colleagues and friends and experienced the bloodiness, the futility and the loss that war encompasses, unless of course the adversary is someone like hitler where strangely even that regime was funded by the same bankers who funded the other lots efforts - for many years; unless it was a war like that – and with proof – then it would be a no-go, not happening, not this time around, no way, whose name?

But what does this wandering have to do with the wild out-there theories and the net?  Well, it just seems that with various laws already passed enabling governments to pull the plug ‘in an emergency’ on the wildnet, the new copyright law attacks by media congloms and governments in secret, how long will it be, before the internet is just another version of terrestrial/satellite tv, where every click of the mouse produces more or less the same sanitised and censored guff, all the way up to an ‘approved for’ stamp on the porn channel.

At least with the current situation, we know there are those out there who would love to have their own section of the species as the only things inhabiting the planet, to those who believe people live in pebbles on the beach; whatever it is, whatever the belief, at least it can be found, people can see, people can judge, people can even participate; how much more beneficial is that than the sideshows they keep on pointing our attention to, when they could really use current laws to curb, but instead want more laws to simply neuter it.  Unless that is, they’re making millions, billions, trillions out of it.

Basically then, if it’s fun fun fun, you can watch it to your hearts content, go to sleep, work, enjoy some leisure time, procreate and bring up the next einstein or eye-out-tearaway, drool, and watch more fun fun fun, until the next terror-outing/calamity pops along to shake things up.

Fun? Happy watching.

Stopping Smoking Anniversary

Hurrah?

The one year anniversary of quitting smoking (apart from one stressed out, abortive, puff and gag attempt around the latter part of 2009), arrived and passed two months ago today, and i’m still waiting to see/feel the benefits.

Since cold-turkey-ing, my skin now alternates between shades of grey and full colour, but that's probably more to do with my "vampiric" lifestyle (i.e. simply keeping out of the sunlight and not actually claiming to be “one of the night”), but  more likely it’s the 24/7 belching pollution that permeates this triangular patch of loveliness.

But for those that experience the quitting process, you know when (after abortive attempts) you have properly quit, as you don’t have that rabid and immediate ex-smoker response when someone around your does light up – karmic peace.  Indeed, when friends complain about smokers, i instantly poo-poo their negativity (see i can be positive and upbeat) and jump to the smokers defence. 

If people cared or knew that much about the harm particles were doing they would be more vociferous in wanting a cut in vehicle emissions (did someone say bloody buses?), and a hiking of tax onto air-travel.

I might disagree with what your spouting and actions your taking, but if your actions don’t harm another (without their mutual consent), or encourage the unaware to harm others, then off you pop;  in the meantime, go vitamin d deficiency!

Blatant lies of TfL, it can't be?

The following was the heading of a document in response to a public consultation about a new route number 324:

"Response to issues raised in public consultation for new route
324"

And tucked away in the document is this little gem.

“Noise, pollution and damage to buildings
We do not believe that the proposals will cause significant overall changes to traffic levels, noise, vibration or pollution. Overall, a well-used bus network will have a beneficial effect on the environment by providing an effective alternative to car use. All buses operating on TfL services comply with or exceed the latest European emissions standards. We will use new buses with modern engines on route 324.”

Not cause significant changes?

Hm, having your skull vibrate like a tuning fork  must be normal, wonder why I never noticed that before.  Or not been able to open a window for fear of 20 hours of breathing in belched out bus fumes'; hmm noise, always keen on having a bus driver use their horn 50 times a day – just when you’re trying to concentrate, just so they can say hello or goodbye to colleagues.  Residents? I see no residents.

Since the termini was plumped here we have been subject to practically 20+hours of vibration, pollution, and noise as drivers (enough to seriously make it noticeable) do not bother switching off their engines - despite continual re-assurances by TfL.

So beware.

If TfL want to put a stand in your area, be prepared, for regardless of what they say, due to driver action what you will end up with will be many times worse.

Hm, gambling the fortune.

Sadly, still nothing concrete on the who’ll be holding the talking stick front, but it looks as though nick will eventually cosy up with david, and all that will happen is the lib-dems will be made to look incompetent, another election will be held in the autumn, and the conservatives will emerge triumphant.

And back to boom then bust, then riots in the streets.

However, if we look back to the last conservative administration, they did perfect the art of selling the family silver (better than brown at flogging  gold), so now they could have the perfect opportunity to go the whole hog and gamble with what's left of the family fortune... 'a' roads, ' b' roads, the unemployed (as a job-lot they must be worth a pound or two), flog the hospitals to the largest health providers, whilst in the ‘cutting cost for the public good’ bring in the american system of healthcare - every man/woman for themselves (with usa health companies who must be on the look out for pastures new to grow their caring considerate health sca- sorry schemes); or, the conservatives could really push the boat out and privatise the electoral system. 

No doubt if it was turned over to the market, just imagine how efficient and productive it would be?

Congratulations to the ferndale labour team for their re-election to office.

Lecture day

Posit?

Positing?

Positioning?

Vote.... vote, vote. Vote...  Vote vote vote vote.

What?  Oh not again!

Forgotten

In the sleepless nights of yore, i knew there was something i’d forgotten – and it wasn’t the election after all.

Erk?

Sleep, who needs sleep?

It's for the weak, for those who need to be subjugated, for those letting the sands of time run through their han-... why's that rabbit hopping across the ceiling...

… and it’s nearly over …

What a busy start to the month this has been, which will no doubt make up for the vast desert expanse of the remainder of the month – unless something else slimes onto the moan-o-meter.

I would have loved to have a gushing report about how, on the last night of merry-making there was no reasonableness and they played louder than ever. 

Actually, for a brief smidgeon of time, it appeared as though they were going to show a semblance and nod to the fact that residents exist.   And until 00:34hrs it seemed to be the case.

Then it hit 00:35hrs and up the levels went.

So I will stick withy my nothing, nada, nought, zilch consideration shown towards resident, shall though call the council but won’t bother asking for anyone to turn up, because by time they do, the volume will be back down again.

Now, where’s my little wheel…

What?

Not another ‘they were so scared out of their wits they couldn’t remember how to park properly in time square (although not sure what the parking restrictions are so could be wittering nonsense), nor mix the correct densities of explosives, nor probably remember that more than one sugar is overkill in a porcelain cup of tea!’

It’s good that no-one was hurt and there was no fireball; but, really.

Three-nil?…

Yes, the third night of “nightmare at may mass” is nearly over – queue gushing fountains of blood, screams, creaking undergrowth and a spooky tumbleweed bounding down the street.

So let’s take a spin of the new “wheel of misfortune” to see exactly where our focus lands, before delving into the entrails of the nights dystrophic twilight episode…

… never know, it as after all 22:39hrs and might be proved wrong; but the increasing frequency and loudness of the thud, thud, thuds look likely to disprove that.

E-what?

Knew i forgot something – there’s an election on.

Well, more a continuation of the same that’s been happening for a few centuries, because regardless of who gets into power the civil servants will be the ones providing the information, the ones providing the collated data gathered from the interested industry pushers who will be munching ears over lunch, or dinner, or at the launch of a new initiative. 

Regardless of who gets in, barring some calamity that always looks as if its about to break and plunge us into headless chicken mode, we’ll continue living in an increasingly shrinking global village, regardless of whether we trade more with ‘a’ or ‘b’, we’ll still be trading with a block that has less concern about their citizen employees, or a bit more concern about their employee citizens; we’ll continue to travel (volcanoes' willing), travellers will arrive (volcanoes' willing), so what exactly will group ‘x’ do apart from tinker around the edges in an attempt to keep as many of us psychotic idiopaths occupied for as long as feasibly possible?

So with good political candor, let’s answer a different question.  What they probably won’t do (delete as appropriate) is:

• Really pip the poor – there’s not enough prison places to put all the rioters who’ll be up in arms, going french,
• Excessively pip the rich - and they’ll just snub a took and go elsewhere offering slightly less than zero tax,
• Pip the middle who’ll boot them out as quickly as they can and not talk to their off-spring whilst waiting in the halls during a break from form c’s theatre evening with parents steaming to to see the master.

So whoever gets in, some group(s) going to get it and be mightily miffed.  In light of that, perhaps it’s time to do something for the planet; for instance have a no car driving week so it can breathe more easily, or not have another species go extinct for ten years for the sake of a pair of shoes or a drawer full of shirts, where light pollution in cities’ reduced to a level you can look up and see more than a dozen stars.  Where we don’t need to buy the latest and greatest “oh it’s so shiny” every six months just out of sheer slavish bored licking, of the hand of ad-dom.

Oh, that and cameron looking like bambi startled in oncoming headlights, brown really reminding everyone of bagpuss with each passing day, and clegg just has too much of that blair tinted colgateness – and look where that ended us; means it is indeed time for a parashift.

Ah there it is.  My wonderful, friendly, green, recyclable solar-powered veg-garden in a window-box, pen.

Two noisy, one more to go!

Yes, this is part two of the three nightmares of may.

Just when, up until 23:32hrs, it was looking so promising; sadly, it just wasn’t to be.  How can I describe it? It would be akin to heathrow throwing open a third & fourth runway, both opened especially for the night time with the loudest planes they could find, with all holding patterns full, all landing slots taken and a stream of buses reaching back to the centre of london, with engines revving fit to bust all the away.

So the club could (for a while at least) keep the noise within levels that didn’t have residents tearing their hair out in frustration, the question is why they don’t do so normally, and then why the council isn’t more proactive in finding out why people are so ticked.

Up until 23.32hrs it was tolerable, then it slowly increased to at 00:30hrs now have the pulsating thud, thud, thud, thudding away, like your own private tuning rave in your front cortex, where, strangely, each thudding tune emanating from those speakers is easily recognisable – something which is part of the environmental subjective “is it loud enough, do we really have to do something?” strategy; so either someone’s left and been seen driving away or it’s been saved specifically for after midnight and beyond, and someone has looked at their watch and gone “oops, time to whack it up”.

No, the whole thing really is a nonsense, they obviously have no consideration towards their neighbours; and just in case there’s a bit of doubt - they really don’t care, they (and this is from the evidence of sitting here and experiencing the noise, the vibrations) shows that really, when all is said and done, they have none, nada, zilch, zero consideration unless it’s the front facing face that’s twice facing backwards.

Screechy! Here screechy screechy.

One has to admire london buses when it comes to bus & station signage and display methodologies, they're a world-beater.

"...signs supplied are to satisfy all relevant European and British Standards and specify precisely the methods of quality control applied in all aspects of the production process...

...the surface finish of the material shall not be punctured by visible fixings, unless no alternative exists, and the panels are to be checked for warping and twist...

...that all product design is a successful blend of economics, aesthetics and functionality with the aim to meet the needs of both customer and operational staff..."

Everything's within a nano-whisker of dimensional perfection, then we have the drivers.

When the temperature hits -5c I can understand the need for engines to be kept ticking; and in the summer, when the temperature hits 40c, for the air-conditioning (although the times in summer when the heating’s on, yet in winter strangely not working’s always a worrying mystery) to be on for them to keep cool. I do understand; and not for a solitary moment am i envisioning sulphurous flames crisping their short & curlies as they’re been devoured from the inside out, over and over and over again, by a basket full of over voracious maggots. No, not thinking anything of the sort…

What I don't understand (apart for the bloody-mindedness part) is why they sit at the stand/terminal with their engines on (despite immaculate signage saying "switch off your engines whilst stationary at the stand", not for 5, or 15 or 30 seconds. But 3, 5, 10, even 20 minutes belching out pollution, and radiating mind jarring low frequency emissions; that is, when they’re not screeching the brakes or tooting horns 16 times per go.

What's that you say?

A dog with a bit between its teeth?

How dare you call bus-drivers dogs, I won't be having any of it. They're earning a living like everyone else, and some of my best friends are bus drivers… but perhaps they're right too, and some do need more training.

Yea

Happy May day!

Picky about noise?

As international noise awareness week ends with the screeching start of a three night 3am ending “rave”, does having to wear ear plugs and headphones behind firmly closed double-glazed windows & doors, and still experiencing the thud, thud, thud reverberating through the cranium - classify the noise and frequencies as being too loud and a nuisance?

Or am i just one of those too sensitive and picky souls, and am actually tossing and turning at this very moment; dreaming that i’m living in a twilight borough, where a church can get hauled to court for playing drums too loudly during the day and is viewed as a greater assault  on the strictures of noise pollution than a club playing deep bass thudding tones that keeps its residential neighbours involuntarily bouncing into the early hours of the day?

What’s that? It’s not a dream?  Oh right, its the never-ending nightmare.

Effing beeps

Stuck in a hole, 
with holes on dryers, 
being eaten alive by moulding damp flies;
with the whistle of engines,
twisting blown cochlea's,
a few notches down,
from a killing spree line.

"But, ne'r mind,"
says the streak of red viscous rust, 
so closely matched,
to gaping wide throats - 
that bubble in bile - 
as the whistle of engines,
and holes on dryers,
convert havens
into tranquil beeps...

Noise Day

International Noise Day is here, and the peace lasted… 2 seconds or was that 1.956 seconds; will have to check, just to make sure.

In the meantime here’s a wee graphic thingy, a pdf clickable one is somewhere…

Int. Noise. Week

Yea.

Happy international noise awareness, abatement wee- hold on, let me just tuck these ear-plugs in a bit closer; cut out the din from the buses and racers.

Yes indeed. Happy noise week, and in keeping with the theme, what better way of placing my brass-tacks and taking part than by providing my own little collaborative snapshot of various past and present goings on affecting this little patch of diesel stained, vibrational flattened, noise challenged greenery.

Which will be up and proud and celebrating for the day itself, once its looking more presentable, than it does now.

Archie Bronson Outfit

After a brief wee sojourn into other places, I had the greatest pleasure in meeting a member of the aforementioned band – not only that but also listening (for the first time) to a copy of their latest album coconut.

What can I say apart from it’s exceptionally brilliant. 

Haven’t yet watched the dvd that came with it, but from the cd my favourite track is, without any doubt or bluster, sharks tooth – so much a favourite it took me two weeks before I stopped catching myself absently humming that addictively catchy tune, closely (nano-sliced atom closely) followed by strawberries.

So for those who have never heard them, head off over to their website and enjoy a return to the days of thoughtful, inspiring music. 

Well worth it.

Mirrored muse

“I want you dead, because you are not me.

I want you dead, because you are an atheist/christian/buddhist/hindi/jewish/muslim/agnostic piece of trash.

I want you dead because you are a communist/fascist/crypto-socialist-anarchist-capitalist.

I want you dead because you are asian/black/white/oriental/native/non-native.

I want you dead because you don't agree with me.

I want you dead because you drink tea, which is two degrees celsius too warm, and your coffee's aroma reminds me of bees.

I want you dead because you eat meat.

I want you dead because you don't eat meat.

I want you dead because you are killing your unborn child, that was forced on you without your consent.

I want you dead because you forced me to bring this child into the world.

I want you dead for only giving me boys/girls/disabled/non-disabled children.

I want you dead because the voices in my head tell me to.

I you dead because I have been ordered to kill you.

I want you dead because you are of a different...

tribe,

country,

species,

sex.

I want you dead because that will make me rich.

I want you dead, so my descendants can dance over your grave.

I want you dead, because you are me.”

Crime

“Worried about crime?

Worried about walking and viewing the causes of crime?

In fear of your life or just people that you’ll meet,

confronting the hooks and lies?

Swapping spies.

Never fear, it’s a toasty, wet, spicy slice,

of juicy full-fat life.

St. George has slain the dragon of crime.”

Chestnuts — the return.

Strangely, i was surprised by the seedlings which last year looked as if they were peering over deaths door (from the seemingly unstoppable march of the numerous diseases to afflict the species), that have now (hopefully due to the 30 year record cold-snap) sprung back into vigorous, robust and excitable (if stressed) life; whilst still occupying the same sized terracotta pot as last year.

If anything, it's probably going to be the lack of space which finishes most of them off, as they're already taller than the depth of the pot, plus the other plant that took up residence (courtesy of the higher floors) is a heavy water addict, meaning that something will eventually have to give.  I just hope it’s the pot.

In the meantime here's a pic of the the semi-happy octo-sharers…

… and a link to how they looked last year (notice the distance of the camera from the lens)

It was a lovely cloud free day

If only europe had weighed in and helped iceland during its crisis the volcano wouldn't have spluttered into a rage and winds would have blown the nasty stuff westwards depositing it into the well deserved laps of wall street, if only.

Luckily it never, and instead the skies above london have enjoyed many cloud-free, contrail-free, nice and warm spring days.

Many of those held nothing but a crisp clear blueness, slightly dappled with a sprinkling hint of lolling haziness.

Oh its good to be back.

Well (and did you expect anything else) it would have been, had the buses had their filters clogged with crap and been unable to run; the boy-racers (all three of them) ended up in a ditch somewhere - instead of destroying what would otherwise have been a historic few days of peace and quite (naturally except for christmas day) in any year that I can remember since i was popped into the world.  Or is that just since i moved to the capital?

Oh well, back to the pictures.

Picture ‘a’ - with trails, picture ‘b’ without trails or even clouds.

Picture ‘a’ (at least six con trails)

Picture ‘b’; clear blue yonder

Amazing the difference a few days of clear con-free air can make.

But I suppose it will soon sadly come to an end.  Which is probably no bad thing (especially for those travelling); as if it continued it wouldn’t be too long before the bread fights, food fights, wiping one's bottom on the nearest trashy newspaper commenced, the spectre of rationing haunting the land - well haunting the poor at any rate. 

Hm, i wonder what a bit of rationing would do for my petite, slim-line, cargo-sized waist?

The vote is yes.

"It is amazing and laughable how effective the brainwashing of the vast majority of the planets bi-pedal sapient population has become; in fact, stupidly amazing.

Just give them another few years. The pendulum will have reached its moment of piquant apogee, before starting its rapid retreat to the other side and taking their civilisation with it..."

Ides

Andromeda

Source images from NASA

Puss & Boots

You are about to blow up a plane.

To kill hundreds of people in the air and possibly on the ground.

It doesn't matter whether you do it in the plain light of day, or tucked away out of sight; the end result will be the same.

But, then we have the two attempted plane bombers - who we shall call: puss & boots, if the intention was to bring the planes down, then why after flying for so long, why at the last moment do they miraculously lose their focus and turn from being martyrs of adoring waiting virgins, into a terrorist version of frank spencer?

Surely if the aim was to down a plane, wouldn't you inject your pants whilst sitting on the loo in the loo, at least you'd have minutes of peace to make numerous attempts without having those very same people you're attempting to murder trying to pummel your ineptitude into an orbit all of its own?

Remember, this is from the very people who planned the destruction of numerous iconic buildings whilst they cosseted it up thousands of miles away, in the dusty bleak wasteland of the mountainous east; managing to hijack planes and thwart the best that trillions in defence spending could offer on 9/11.

Is it me, or does each time this particular shoal manages to bob its way to the surface, it has a disturbing tendency of smelling like a trawler full of nasty old pollock?

Yipper-yapper

Despite all the yapper about an election year, it doesn't feel like an election year, in fact it feels more like an old grizzly lumbering its way to a scratching post and getting ready to aim a rump at the front row, just in time for the prime-time circus.

With less than four(?) months to go before a swarm of "x's" change the stripe of the same jacket, and despite the continual ya-bo-sucks-to-you politics in parliament, it feels as laden with energy as a fallen yorkshire pudding feeding a family of 20. 

I could, however, be mistaken and simply missed the pulsating venom of change coursing its way through the populace with each passing day; a case of casting out the old, by replacing with the same-old.

Notes in time

Total insanity has been achieved... tom tancredo... depressive webs... vitamins... money grows on trees and you are the tree... upgraded speeds... ah screw this, i'm off to bed.

Bubble prick, bubble prick

Scour... scour... scour...

Ah, how nice the austrialian internationaliased  porn watcher's managed to keep a hold of his job, after his fiporn escapade — no doubt in contravention of his employers (macquarie's group) terms & conditions of employment; you betcha if he was watching anything else 'appropriate' he'd  have been out on their ear, hounded and vilified for life, which shows that if you want to watch "appropriate" porn at work — move to australia!

Scour... scour... scour... 

South Wales Police said it had been called in to investigate a 61-year-old man from the Vale of Glamorgan on suspicion of possessing indecent porn.

Indecent, not appropriate and it hasn’t been splashed all across the globe, good to see no  avenue, branch or sprigs being left unturned in the collection of this damning evidence.

Scour... scour... scour

In new delhi the chief justice of india k g balakrishnan suggested on sunday that the government should impose a ban on websites that exclusively display pornography and hate speech. 

I'm only moderately surprised the term terrorism didn't pop it's wee head onto that list. 

So three different takes on the issue of porn dependent on where you are, who you are and how popular you are in the moment.

I would scour myself, but need to find a port.

Coldest, warmest, time for a stringy thermal?

Well the past few years have seen some of the warmest years since non-fudged records began: more floods, more mud slides, more heat-waves and associated fires, and even winterest winters; this year's already providing the worst snow fall on record to affect parts of the states, europe, the coldest in the uk (well at least for a while), each week seems to set another record before being surpassed by another-... ohh  circustainment's here...

"And what is going on with mps and their expenses?"

Damn, wrong channel....

"Yes studio it's a blood bath, the mobs beating the crap out of the chinchilla because it's deigned to snap a sneeze, whilst the great big st. bernard/rottweiler/gorilla combo — that's already bitten off a couple of arms and heads — is actually being given a box of treats by a flurry of trembling hands poking out from bloodied bitten, holed and shredded vests.  Amazing!"

Around the world in 80 sleeps

In 80 days time it will be international noise awareness day, for all of you who will weep on this day, i'll be there spiritually weeping alongside you; but, in the meantime i shall be sending out appropriate and timely emails to those entities that have shown as much regard for their neighbours as a dealer selling ingredients fit for inclusion in a victoria sponge claiming it would give you the best high since sliced bread.

The 28th April 2010 is the date, and this is it's 15th year.

I wonder how many cumulative years are spent by people who’s every waking moment is spent just battling against the rush of even more gadgets that you just want to smash, or break or shove wear the sun don't shine — sometimes when thoughts flicker across the idea of how devastating a major planet-wide calamity would be, it's quickly followed by thinking how peaceful it would be on a dead airless extinct planet, yep pretty peaceful. Selfish? Oh yes - remember this falls under that environment thing i mentioned a while back.

So if you're suffering noise of any kind that's a constant irritation: record, log, tabulate, contact your environmental department, get a pair of noise-cancelling headphones (a pair are on their way so i will test them out and see), which might be the thing that briefly helps you retain a scintilla of sanity, leaving you to querulously observe the approaching white van coming to take you away, before you start gibbering incoherently about stabbing speakers with a jug of ionised water.

As much as i doubt the council, the club and the centre for conveyancing (sorry but tfl just doesn't have the c*&?# in it), doing anything other than retort with the usual platitudinous response upon receipt of their emails, always but always give them a chance; if they do and things change, i'll eat my headphones*

Stick it in the diaries, 28th April 2010 — international noise awareness day, otherwise known as turn that bloody racket down day!

* sugar spun headphones contain 80% sugar and constitute 20% of your simple carbohydrate rda.

Soft and smelly chocy drops

So, it's the end of an era at Cadburys as the soon to be ex-chief (mr stitzer) will be leaving apparently with a potential package worth about £20m - no need to worry about contacting the jobcentre then, but it might be worthwhile as in a few years he'll be eligible for the winter fuel allowance and with fuel costs set to increase by 20% over the next decade, it might just be worth that call to prevent a horrid dent in his savings – well at least for an hour.

Once Kraft gets through with the takeover, and the job cuts (terry who?) start whether this or next year, i doubt the ex-employees will be given a severance package anywhere near as beneficial, which would probably be a good thing as anything over £6,000 and they'd have to fend for themselves as far as the government’s concerned.  But when 5,947 of them are worth the ceo’s leaving handshake, of course the government will have to take a very dim view of why they've made themselves deliberately unemployed by not working harder in the first place.

So remember the next time you don't receive a pay rise, or the pay rise is so small that it just covers the price of a second class stamp, that you are doing your bit by saving your company from rack and ruin, and ensuring that those who deserve it, get it.

New horizons

Hm, from every major disaster there's a silvery lining - or so that particular rubbish saying goes; as believing in the best, from the worst tragedy, is always our way of dealing with things when reality deigns to not play ball.

So nasa might have missed out on the extra cash they wanted for a manned base on the moon or a manned mission to mars; which is sad considering that it would have cost less than 10% of banks mega-bonus annual billion give-aways to bankers whose usefulness to the vast majority on the planet is a smidgen above zero - absolute zero.

But, i don't recall hearing anyone say anything about not building a base on an asteroid whether manned or automated, and i'm not talking those little small football sized asteroids, but asteroids a good few kilometres in size - something like ceres at 466km, they'd provide a vastly greater challenge than building on a planet or a moon - and just imagine the huge net of sensors with their only power requirement being to sense and transmit, as propulsion would be provided by the asteroids own motion as it zips its way through, round or out of the solar system, in the end even the greedy industrial corporations would scramble to get on board; the entire process for the fly-bys could be fully automated, eventually the  asteroids could be moved with small and regular gentle nudges to change their trajectories and speeds, until - over time -  the process could position them into a nice high orbit and make them available for mining, which would do away with having to destroy our environment, which would allow building to occur in space cheaper and even  (in time) maybe alleviate the need for countries to invade other countries for their resources whilst trotting out the usual specious excuse of "we're here to help the people" as there would be more than enough floating around for the most greediest of greediest power mad gits out there to be bathing in it until they breath their last.

Ah, keep on forgetting that for 100% greedy or power mad in the world, enough is never ever enough.

And at least the hawks in governments could put their loony star-wars-lets-rain-death-from-the-skies equipment to some useful use to point and take out stray asteroids, which may or may not suffer technical trajectory malfunctions ending up hurtling towards some major megacityburb.

Or we could just wait for a major disaster (a when not if) to come about, with those watching in their floating hotels been on the last technologically capable outpost, the last  survivors with only a couple of months supplies, until they too perished.

Choices choices…

"Eating decent food instead of junk crap is a lifestyle choice; deciding whether you'll be wearing levis, wranglers, dickies or slumps is another lifestyle choice, deciding whether you’ll hang with bums or swing with the stiffs is another lifestyle choice, wanting to believe that rock you stubbed your toe on whilst surfing is god - is a lifestyle choice..."

"Nothing to see here, be a good citizen and move along."

Disparate ties

"Terrorists must be communicating acts of vileness against us by using the net!"

"It's the pedos under every kiddies bed communicating and practising their vileness using the net!"

"It's the godless, if only they would turned to god and be saved, if not we'll have to kill them to save them!"

"It's the criminals making our online lives a vile misery by using the net when all we want to do is spend, spend, spend - save us!"

So goes the neutering cry, as another avenue of anodyne blandness is restored.

Language

Sometimes when waking in the morning and uttering words in regard to breakfast (lunch), english comes across not as a first language but a second, no scratch that, third, fourth… two hundred and fifty sixth language, and all without the aid of anything remotely exotically toxic; perhaps it’s just anything longer than a twitterance.

Buses and TfL

After picking up the phone and verbally complaining - in measured tones (apart from a slight hysterical rant towards the end - which i'm putting down to the frequency of my virtual phone/fax software assistant oscillating in synchronisation with the guest & hosted os's) to tfls customer services (buses division) about the constant idling (no not drivers asleep at the whee- although saying that should really post some of those pictures) of bus engines been constantly left on idling (ticking over) let alone the revving of them, sometimes you could almost be forgiven for thinking you were at a formula one starting grid, on top of the increasing frequency of brake squeals and horn use; and sorry but no, using a horn 16 times outside of rush hour with no traffic holding you up in a residential area is not acceptable.

Sadly it would seem that yesterdays boy/girl racers have turned into todays bus drivers - even the aged ones.

So i was impressed with the attention given by customer services at tfl despite having to numerously repeat the bus numbers every other sentence so they could work out which companies to send the complaints to, indeed I was so impressed that 11 minutes later i detected a slight thawing in my attitude. So much so, my original mad bashings titled 'lies, lies, and tfl customer services' that i was going to put online (which for those who have somewhat followed the odd post can just imagine with that headline what the body of burblings contained) has been temporarily put to one side, not deleted, just placed on hold to allow sufficient time for those extra chances (as though five years isn't long enough) to see how well things could improve over the next couple of weeks - although the ongoing chugging (and screech of heavy brakes at four minutes to midnight) seems to indicate which side of the hill this particular saga's continuing to slide down on.

Because you just know that if the sound was on the other foot, which would be the equivalent of burning down the bus garage, finding every relation of every bus-y driver who refuses to switch off their engines and doing a dexter - whilst the driver is watching, then doing away with the driver too, then ferkling out every official supervisor who has received and read complaints from residents (anywhere) in relation to noise issues yet singularly done nothing about it, to subject them to 24/7/365/4 years worth of 200db taped noise (and yes I know eardrums burst at 120db - remember this trail of mayhem murder and mischief is bit of fiction simply added for indicative effect - and to slowly work ones way up the "chain of command" to the directors, place them into cannons and launch them (feet first) from one side of the channel to the other (and yes I know the success rate of cannoning a person from the english shores to the french has been zero - they simply needed to add more bloody powder) however many times it takes until they get the message: that this is how ignored environmental events can impact on those in the nearby surrounds... i'd be tasered every millimetre of the way to a prison cell and deemed a severe menace (well bar any knicker scorcher flying over that is), until the end of my days.

Loud? When is loud too loud? Maybe i'm just becoming more sensitive as the years tick on by, which would be bloody sad as i was quite looking forward to incipient drooling senility, and the only time i would need to inanely socialise is when been digested and shit out by earthworms - but despite full-ear fitting ear-plugs, over which is a full-ear covering set of headphones i can still hear the squeals of brakes or bus horns, and all through double glazed windows - believe me it's loud; and i am not the only person complaining about it.

To think only a few years ago I was fondly thinking of bricking up all the windows...

Oh my, maybe it really is time to move to the country - middle of antartica about 200m below the surface, or maybe i should install secondary glazing (it already has double before some smarky tit interjects)-, no tertiary glazing and turn one room into a panic/silent/two-fingers to the noise, room with air-purification, lots of plants, foam backed walls to absorb sound, slightly lower the ceiling with padded foam on the other side, suspended floor with noise cancelling inch rubber thick matting and wooden panels... it might just make at least one room semi-nice to live in once more, even if it no longer has the space to swing a dead newborn rat.

Update 30/01/10 15:44 slightly amended to improve readability.

E-perts

A source from experts said that the moon will disappear from Earths orbit, in a few years; but a few years before that fateful time the earths oceans will boil, mars will be our new home and jupiter will be turned into the solar systems biggest diamond.

Another source said all of that was a pile of rubbish and shouldn't be taken with anything but a crate of prozac to calm the first source down.

A third source said they were both barmy and that if you sailed off into the sunset your boat would fall off the end of the world.

Another source said that everyone within a 50 mile area was providing terrorists with material that could possibly be of material benefit to said terrorists: so all sales of toilet paper, oyster cards, birthday cards, newspapers should be banned, corner shops, supermarkets, knicker shops should be cordoned off with everyone required to show their passports and id cards before reaching checkouts.

And as the wheel of the sensible bus hurtles after the bus over the edge and into the canyon below, just before exploding on impact the last thing to flash before your mind...

... our water's taxed - and poisoned, our foods taxed and value added along the line, our travel's taxed down to our shoes and scummy trainers (yet try to go down the street bare-feet and in the nude and you'll be arrested for shocking the public), so even if you grow your own: the land's taxed, the delivery of goods to you or from you is taxed, not to mention the water's taxed with tax on top which only leaves the air; the only thing they haven't yet manage to singularly tax - unless you're flying through it - will, once they finally get their way, be taxed as an environmentally sound thing to do and surprisingly, and naturally wont be spun as simply a tax just t-…

Unshaved sheep

"So how do you get to sleep?"

"Well I put my head down and within seconds I'm counting sheep."

"And what about you madam?"

"I have a cup of cocoa, put my head down and before I realise it, i'm dreaming of knitting odd socks."

"Wonderful.  Excuse me Sir, how do you get to sleep?"

"Well, first of all i put in my ear plugs, then i cover them with dense cotton wool, then a thick towel, then i put on headphones and turn the volume up so i can just about hear it."

"Isn't that a bit extreme?"

"Not as extreme as what i'm doing to those bloody sheep!"

Quaking fallouts

Limbaugh reminds me of a sick puppy, one that scrambles around shitting itself at every opportunity because it just can't help it.

So he criticises obama for taking three days to give the nation his spleen over the attempted bombing of the airline over detroit - in which no one died, no plane was brought down, even "pants on fire" survived. But a country, not exactly a million miles away, suffers the most devastating natural disaster in over 200 years with many thousands (even hundreds of thousands) dead and he's critical that obama responds within 24hrs.

Perhaps mr p should have waited two weeks before responding, but no doubt that would have brought on the clamouring charge of indifference.

A sick, mad puppy.

And as for robertson… sick, mad, bad, nasty, viscous, hateful…

But those are just my idle thoughts, i could be wrong.

Linuxmania?

It's been an interesting time, after data breach, hdd loss and the like, i reverted to an os i've been wittering on about for a few years with a bit of hesitation, what with using a slower processor, a drive that under windows crashed with more regularity than a alcoholic trying to avoid that "final one for the road" has, with linux, done nothing of the sort; which is happily chugging along on a system xp choked over, but is allowing me to trudge on until the time arrives when some of the crap i'm working on finally succeeds in trimming the time i spend in front of a screen down to a manageable couple of hours – leaving the rest of the time to watch either a sunrise or a sunset whilst sipping a cooling refreshing breeze and contemplating my navels.

As a quick and easy back-up measure linux has more than proved itself. Quicker to set up and run, stable, hasn't crashed or seized up once since installing and that after putting on ubuntu 8.04 with a livecd, upgrading to 8.10 by streaming over the net, upgrading to 9.04 by another stream (and vowed never to do it again), then in moment of delirium and pitching all concern to the wind, i finished off by using the 9.10 alternative cd which upgraded the 9.04 in no time at all; an unexpected useful fall-back in an emergency, despite having to spend even more time in front of the bloody screen learning things anew.

The one thing this chapter has ensured is that after many abortive attempts linux is now my os of choice; and i am pleasantly pleased.

Hm. Bash? Man? Grep? Bash a mans grep, what the?...

Boodlynewyear

Well the old memorable decade and especially rubbish (starting to get the impression of a theme here) year are nearly neatly inturned, so with the usual nonsensical tradition of wishing in a better new year, my new years wish in best competition answering mode is "for an end to the mentality of ...

them against us, shaft or be shafted, law of the jungle, survival of the fittest, cops and robbers, beauty and the beast, good cop bad cop, good evil, god devil, angel demon, for us or against us, shitty options, shifty options, options that don't land us in the shit."

that always seem to hold us back.

Now, i just need to minutely examine my breath for an increase in superlatives.

Wishing everyone a wonderful, happy and more peaceful 2010.

The one day...

No buses polluting the air with revs, vibrations or fumes, no queues for thudding ear-splitting events "tossing the casket" with split pressure bangs, no relations nor relatives nor dogs slippering the streets, no cooking nor been cooked for bent double in the eve, no music, no crackers, in fact nothing pulled at all, no rubbish tv, no presents to open and say "thank you," before taking them back, no watching presents being opened and seeing them thinking of taking them back, no hordes of boy/girl racers outdoors, christmas in its own strange way is the most perfect day of all.

For a hermit.

Spiriting future

Day rotates thru night and the quiet, sulkily departs,

but, before the frost begins,

a screech rents the air.

"Punta. You tart," splits the silent night in twain.

When did I start dreaming in Spanish?

"Punta"

And i'm aroused...

To find the windows slight crack's filtering sounds,

no longer braced by fully formed foam.

A girl/wife/missus in flagrante with a brother/father/son's been found?

Then, as the fallen plug's popped, the last few hours skid,

into a filed abyss late 20 10,

riding blossoming morning sun.

Spiriting pasts

As 'mentalists in uganda pick up the cudgels and banners of hate, for the sake of "what is right", the ghost of amin past spins, if only half approvingly, in the knowledge a destructive legacy's still on the path.

Merrymass messages

In today's world you can't change your mind - changing your mind shows indecisiveness, caving in, being supine, falling under a guise, being a ditherer, neither martha nor arthur, in the air, air-head, wishful thinker; whilst going from birth to death in randomly different ways (even though on that final day our bodies slowly decay into worm food or take the quick flash-burn into energised atoms) is akin to a cardinal sin (to borrow from the floweriness of the rosary convention) unless, of course, you have the ability to snook-a-took at the mores, conventions and chains that tie you into our modern-cohesive-social-inequality prisons which dictate that you're doing okay, or will be okay, just as long as you put these blinkers on and don't deviate to far against the norms; sure make billions but don't obviously rip too many people off, or if you do (and get caught) don't look too smug; yes in the name of profit screw those far poorer just to cream that extra one tenth of a hundredth of a thousandth of a percent to show your competitor (or fellow presidents) who rules the roost, after all its only lip-service cutting the ribbon then adding an extra swiss zero: before flowing on to say things will get better as communities the world over cling to unending years of indentured hopefulness.

Oh, nearly forgot.

Merry cmas one and all.

Ho

Taxing happiness

It's amazing how people are quick to accept the worst (when it concurs) with what they expect, yet you can talk till your blue in the face and they just won't believe - but tell them what it is they wish to hear (true or false) and they'll hang onto those slivering scintillas like words of laws etched in stone.
So it was with the failed copenhagen climate summit - no really it was a momentous failure. We can already see the next bubble finding its feet, testing its bonds, flexing its teeth, as it will (in time) be another global behemoth added to the bills that we pay through sites which will have passed the veterinary test of anodyne inanity especially when they come to fully opening for your loyal injection or compulsory patriotic voluntary vote.
But things really go down hill after you pick the wrong contestant to win in the national v-factor, and you only evade communal-sanction by correctly placing your "x" next to the "correct" overlord in the nepac elections. Not to worry. Everything will be hunky everything will be dory; but above all, everyone will be happy!

I

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Passion and drama

A while ago, many years in fact, an advert used to run on terrestrial uk networks, in the papers, on the tube from a company whose brand has gone the way of many an old-world dinosaur institution (either been taken over or had a name change), saying “we never make a drama out of a crisis!”

It would seem that in the todays world things no longer need to be at crisis levels, before baby, bathwater, entire bathroom's pitched into the event horizon of despair by a misheard word, a misunderstood phrase, or just an "i" that haplessly wanders out of place.

Now though, we're conditioned upon hearing the words "terrorist" or "pedo" or (for those across the pond) "socialist", for the terms "no smoke without fire" or "they wouldn't go after anyone with proof" or "didn't know him/her/them well, they kept themselves to themselves" and so on, into mistakenly believing the kitty litter we're fed as being the only truth, the total truth and so true that nothing else can ever be true that contradicts what we've been told; otherwi- beepbeepbeepbeep...

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Stools of wrath

The uk government's recently (couple of days ago) been accused of treating religions like a problem?

• Pilgrim fathers
• Catholics vs. protestants
• Missionaries (destroying other people beliefs and ways of life)
• Jihads
• Crusades (for bits of parched land)
• Dunking stools
• Stonings
• Cutting off of hands
• Human sacrifices
• Inquisitions (of which the current pope b has more in common with the fourth innocent pope than with one leg of the trinity)

Maybe the government should tag the belief in religions as a form of delusional insanity, which like drugs (ecstacy, prozac, ritilin, cocaine) help to keep people happy and wide swathes of populations contentedly subdued until they need to be roused to a wrath for the next cause.

And yes the "secular" (global grouping) side has had its fair share of over-exuberant proponents, but they tend not to keep hostilities going millenia in, millenia out.

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Blasting the cobwebs of history?

The saying goes; "those who forget history are bound to repeat it," and i know there's something at the edge of my consciousness that just refuses to go away or clarify!

Something various parties (judging by the amount of column/pixel inch coverage) due the rapidly approaching election seem to have forgotten - even when those inches refuse to add anything towards a good sound-bite. Whichever hue of government comes in there'll be a surprising development (whether home or abroad) that will mean a sharp decrease in our security and so our already harshly trammeled privacy, more regulation adding to the over burdened law books, more (but at least greener) taxes to ensure that the children's children children might have a hope of staring up at a clear cloudless blue sky without the fear of been burnt to death by the combination centuries concentration of pollution and more activity from our star.

But there'll be so many laws that the conservatives (barring a major upset in the prediction stakes) will have to repeal in relation to the few the labour government actually allowed that it will be the 3rd to 4th year sitting that we'll see how "fundist" the righters will be once they finally oust the young pretender in favour of someone more frightening than tebbers ever was in his prime!

Ah yes, the one thing history teaches us is that regardless if there's the poll-upset to unseat all poll-upsets and either the liberals or greens manage to get their hands on the mace, in the end we'll still be at the whim of global trade routes, traders and financial centres - otherwise known as jungles.

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Blagging the hack

It would appear that the us is conducting two differing types of reactions to unauthorised intrusions from unauthorised personnel into sensitive areas of power.

On the one hand we have gary mckinnon with (all those years ago) his search for ufo's and those hiding them, who has been hounded by the american justice department for peeking (and hence showing up the lack of security) into the drawers of nasa the pentagon..., and on the second hand two people (tareq and michaele salahi) who fooled security to enter (what should have been) the most secure conscious dinner/party room on the planet, well perhaps apart from the one surrounding laden.

Maybe we'll see if the same or similar rules apply and with so many of the "great and good" gathered in one place providing such a security target, to show how dim a view such behaviour is viewed in, whether the pair will be dragged into the spotlight of incarceration until admitting their "obvious guilt" and showing up the general incompetencies surrounding the security involved with the protection of vips for the next decade or two will probably slip into the "whatever happened to" department.

Predictions

The ability to predict, like alchemy, is something of a holy grail which has been sought all throughout the recorded mists and depths of hoary time; after all he (or she) who could predict the future as well as changing crabby dirt into the most precious of gold, would control the reins of power and have an easy life - even if having to watch your back for the knife.

Sadly, the ability to predict the winner at the 15.10 race at kempton by taking a wild guess based on whether a horse has a particular letter in its names; but you have never seen a race, let alone any of the horses in the race is the same as predicting when/if/how/why you will fall in/over/out (whilst wondering what those effervescing electrons actually do whilst cascading down the pathway towards that ethereal social meme) of love and predicting (for a year) all of the world's lottery games lottery numbers correctly.

Now where did i put my 50 year predictions... oh bugger!

All thoughts

All thoughts, whether skipping around a meadow under a lightning-tornado-rain sodden ridden sky or the thoughts/image of blood spewing from someone's decapitated head by a passing helicopter as they practice acrobatics helter-skelter down a skiing slope; are all images and thoughts which are put down and filed away for potential future use, under the headings of you never know.

But many of them are simply that, idle thoughts and will eventually dissipate to the back of a filing system, or (if you've got a dreadful memory like mine) dissipate from mind and may at some far flung time in the future when only a smidgen of a sliver of the original thought will remain, and be forever lost as to its relevance. In many respects having that occur i believe is a very good thing, at other times it could be viewed as bad. Imagine remembering everything you've ever thought about whether for a fleeting second to that opus taking chunks of years at a time.  It would be the equivalent of never deleting anything (files, programs, data) from a hard drive whilst adding to it daily and expecting it to still work flawlessly and as speedily as the first day you brought it, 20 years later.

As I always say though, wouldn't it be a dreadfully boring world if we were all the same, did all the same things, thought exactly the same, and all wore the same - well that's today's thought; attack of the clones, eat your heart out.

Agreeing to disagree?

Has the art of discussion gone so far out the window that the ability of agreeing to disagree has swiftly flowed out with it?

It would appear so.

If you are constantly informed of another persons point of view, yet don't want to accept their point of view is true because it doesn't coincide with what you believe or want; it doesn't make their thoughts or views false. Just different to yours, and part of the agreeing to disagree process.

We can think of gorbachev and reagan, two past leaders who encompassed distinctly disagreeable extremes, yet managed to agree on many things whilst disagreeing on some fundamental ones.

I wonder if there would be far less hate and violence if more people, who didn't agree, acknowledged and were able to get on whilst still disagreeing?

Who knows, only time will tell.