Fun?

Hold on, need to find a dictionary…

Blergh!

So obama comes down on the: don’t take the nutters on the web too seriously as there’s a lot of them out there spouting a lot of nonsense, which is just, well, nonsense!

Very true.

But lest we forget governments and official bodies, aren’t exactly renowned for their virgin whiteness and full halooutwiththetruth first-time rings.  Hand on heart all those who believe governments tell everything warts and all?  Indeed, we’re constantly not told things as there’s a belief that if we knew what was going on, all our heads would explode all in one go, or the vast majority would turn on them for holding onto so much for so long.  Instead we’re told that we’re not told for our own good, or the good of national security, or someone else’s good security, or for the benefit of someones over-swelling bank balance; or just in case a group of terrorists decide to swim up the thames, scale the thames barrier and plant slow-release h1n-something that decimates the entire population of the planet.

Sceptical?  You betcha, but open with it and always up for being proved wrong.

There are times when odd thoughts stray across my visual horizon, like when the fringe of any fundamental belief system undertakes thousands of suicide bombings against their own & other perceived enemies, do they really think “yippie, people will come flocking to us and we’ll show them”; or is it someone (dark and sinister) whispering a bit of nonsense in their ear, which they latched onto, which culminates in their demise, after all how much murder mayhem ministrations can people take, even if things are supposedly done for their benefit and all their lobes have been removed?

So the world turns and new things come along to keep everyone on their toes, never a moment to think, except for their hope it will be better in their child's or grandchild's lifetime, something which if we go back through annals of history seems to be just as old a hope as those looking for a good time involving someone from the oldest profession.

If you ask the vast majority of the globes population, whether they want to invade ‘x’, have war against ‘y’ they’ll probably ask ‘why’ and then go ‘hell-no,’ (probably one of the few times i’ll wholeheartedly agree with something said by one of those who rudely twinge the underpinnings of the nutty fringe), unless they’re attacked first. 

Even those who are suffering privations, generally don’t want war, yet war we continuously have, supplied by people and industries & country’s that have outsourced their arguments to those areas far (in the past at any rate) removed from the immediate outraged eye of their own citizens. 

How can they do that? What would they have to gain? When was the last time you saw a world beating major international weapons manufacturer producing the latest and greatest, in let’s say somalia?  The only thing coming from there now is a brief run on bottles of rum, and even that’s now being ransacked.

So why are we always suckered into it, when in the majority of cases these operations are run by people who have never been in war, never had first hand experience of war, who don’t have off-spring in war and if you said front-line would think first of the riots that occurred many decades ago wherever their nearest riot prone place happened to be, i.e., brixton.

It should be mandatory that if you want to call a war you need to have front-line experience, have lost colleagues and friends and experienced the bloodiness, the futility and the loss that war encompasses, unless of course the adversary is someone like hitler where strangely even that regime was funded by the same bankers who funded the other lots efforts - for many years; unless it was a war like that – and with proof – then it would be a no-go, not happening, not this time around, no way, whose name?

But what does this wandering have to do with the wild out-there theories and the net?  Well, it just seems that with various laws already passed enabling governments to pull the plug ‘in an emergency’ on the wildnet, the new copyright law attacks by media congloms and governments in secret, how long will it be, before the internet is just another version of terrestrial/satellite tv, where every click of the mouse produces more or less the same sanitised and censored guff, all the way up to an ‘approved for’ stamp on the porn channel.

At least with the current situation, we know there are those out there who would love to have their own section of the species as the only things inhabiting the planet, to those who believe people live in pebbles on the beach; whatever it is, whatever the belief, at least it can be found, people can see, people can judge, people can even participate; how much more beneficial is that than the sideshows they keep on pointing our attention to, when they could really use current laws to curb, but instead want more laws to simply neuter it.  Unless that is, they’re making millions, billions, trillions out of it.

Basically then, if it’s fun fun fun, you can watch it to your hearts content, go to sleep, work, enjoy some leisure time, procreate and bring up the next einstein or eye-out-tearaway, drool, and watch more fun fun fun, until the next terror-outing/calamity pops along to shake things up.

Fun? Happy watching.

Advertising dilemmas

You read about people sticking on various ad-links, urls to their blogs, pages, web-sites, and soon afterwards retiring on the proceeds they've had pouring in from day one.

Naturally I thought what a good idea, and set about setting up my google adsense widget.

I had a bit of a dilemma, wondering whether to have everything from news links to wart remover, scattered all over the page. In the end I decided upon having just the one advert text box, and at the bottom a little strapline with the latest breaking bit of information.

The widgets have now been on for quite a few weeks. Not really sure why I put the widgets on after all, sort of second thoughts especially after finding myself re-viewing and seeing companies that I rank amongst the likes of Pol Pot, Stalin or Idi Amin gracing my pages. Must sit down and work out the exclusions list: banks, lawyers, solicitors, banks!

Although just having fluffy clouds and lily pads gracing the page, is probably defeating the entire purpose!

So how did this budding new advertising mogul's plans pan out?

Customer service - the elusive fleece.

In this, the speeded age of the fulsome broadband experience, more and more people are getting used to quick replies, instant-action-purchasing (even if the goods might take a couple of weeks to arrive), browsing the globe; instant gratification all at the click of an anonymous button! 

Many companies (good and illicit) are out there, searching for the best way of making money – and anyone who has worked in an Investment Bank above the level of cleaner will know that most of the massaged figures and egos that need soothing, mean that they have to work harder chasing us for our dollars, pounds, euros or yen, eager to part us from our cash, whether hard earned or not.  

So with an eye on the virtual world, the activity of venturing into 'real life' establishments usually;

  a) sends me scurrying back to the keyboard,
  b) leaves me amazed at how far behind so many real world (bricks & mortar) businesses are,
  c) how badly most are failing, in relation to their customer service,
  d) constantly wondering why so many people still stick with them - inertia!
  e) is it me, or have people been taking to much notice of reality shows.

The main incidents which brought home the disparate ability of companies to get things right are Nationwide, Amazon.co.uk, Sainsbury's, Curry's .digital, and finally Holland & Barrett. I shall go through a brief run-down of the varying experiences.

Nationwide – Online, remarkably good service. Far better than the Co-operative Bank, HSBC, or Lloyds TSB offerings. Sadly most of that effort appears to have come at the expense of the retail arm and its high street offerings. Offline - going into the door, you are greeted by a forest of people, slowly moving shuffling forward. Two receptionists, one sitting the other standing are both talking, proactive isn't the first term that springs to mind. Friend goes over to the counter and commenced the 20 minute wait to be seen by (considering the queue is nearly out the door and it's way past lunchtime) the only cashier which is open out of three. After 10 minutes the chatting receptionists turn to the growing sitting group which has been patiently gathering and finally asks “does anyone want to be seen?”. Nationwide had taken over the Portman Building Society in August 2007, and as just goes to show that the accountants bottom final swish of the quill carries far more weight than customers having to wait half an hour. In one particular location the bigger Portman Branch had been closed, whilst a much smaller Nationwide branch (less than 30 seconds walk) remained open and which now services three times the customers. As the cashier said in sad resignation, “It's always this busy since we took over Portman, there's just no extra staff!”. Surprised there hasn't been a riot.

Amazon – Online, excellent exemplary service when ordering and for delivery. If your goods are electrical then sadly that's where things can start to go wrong and fall down. That's were the problems start, as they try fobbing you off by saying you need to return the item back to the manufacturer when in fact if the goods are defective they should replace or refund. However books and Cd's have always been delivered in full functional order.

Sainsbury's – Online, as Amazon and Nationwide, very good and easily navigable, but somehow manage not to have what you order in stock on the actual day of delivery, so they either don't send anything or if the do, the substitute is not acceptable.  Offline - usually the queue in one little local is around 20 people strong, with it been positioned so close to the tube station. But more often than not, all the tills will be open and the staff, speedily conducting customers, purchases.  Speedy, friendly and very efficient.  But to the experience... popping into my local to obtain some mince pies, double cream and bread; hadn't realised it had been a long time since I'd set foot through the doors and was somewhat confused.  In the end had three members of staff finding me the cream, taking me to the bread, and showing me the location of the mince pies.  Couldn't ask for better service.  Shopping would be so much more an enjoyable experience, if we all received the same treatment.

Curry's .digital: Offline, pop into the store and as you wonder around aimlessly (practically devoid of shoppers just after lunch time - with over six members of staff), it takes five minutes for one store assistant to simply look along the aisle and make sure no items were been lifted or touched, before another store assistant finally pipes up and queries if any assistance was required.  Online, very good.  

Moss Bros: Offline, you wouldn't wish this slovenly (their bearing as opposed to dress) bunch of depressing shop fitters on Imelda Marcos, let alone wishing to help in the purchase/hiring of any item.  Online, too much time spent trying to navigate around.

Holland & Barrett: Offline, pleasant and courteous staff.  Within seconds of entering the store greeted and asked whether they can be of help.  Highly recommended.  Online, what can I say but excellent.

With the Christmas season (for those who believe or just enjoy the festivities) there will, no doubt, be people wishing to purchase a whole hoard of goodies, whilst paying the least number of pennies. So here is the OFT website (for those based in the UK), which should be thoroughly scanned to ensure you are aware of your rights, whilst avoiding the spivs, scams and schemers.