Saturday, 15 August 2026

Meanwhile and long overdue, in Alternate Reality 45823...

The dust from the last great Bust & Hype Tech fallout cycle has, almost, settled down leaving only the faintest skiddy scent of burnt ambition, watered down artisanal coffee and a swathe of tech bros who have been uncharacteristically absent from the public eye for months.

It's now 2042 and in a small café Brenda and her friend are having problems with their Eye Pendants which have become utterly ubiquitous. Simply strap it to your collarbone and a little glowing beacon of synthesised intelligence, manages your ambient emotional throughput.

"Mais non," hisses Brenda, adjusting the little chrome piece on her companion. "The pendant just told me I need to generate more 'wholesome serendipity' by staring at decorative pebbles for 20 minutes this evening. It's exhausting."

"Mon Dieu, Brenda," her friend replies, whilst sipping her lukewarm tea. "At least it’s efficient. Earlier today my pendant kept urgently pinging. And what did it want? It was simply flagging the inefficiency of your emotional bandwidth. Apparently, you’ve been spending far too long dwelling on the banality of your existence."

The Eye pendants are a universal requirement now. Everyone needs a bespoke, wearable, micro-miniaturised cognitive adjunct to tell them exactly how deep and meaningful their meandering consciousness truly are and whether they're keeping on track. Who knew that the only requirement for true happiness was a stylish little bauble.

Why is it called the Eye pendant? Initially it was called the AI pendant, but too many people found themselves being impaled in their eye by them.