Have you popped your daily dose of ‘Bio-Co-Enhancing Propopissbiotics’? Which I gather is simply fancy talk for some sort of slightly fermented municipal run-off.
You have to admire the confidence of wellness influencers (and by 'influencers,' I mean some dodgy merchants selling crystalline tinctures from suspiciously large vials) suggesting that one can, via dietary osmosis and placing a drop of said tincture on the moon, somehow ensure that after your five millionth dose you'll achieve ‘optimal seminal viability.’.
The concept itself is baffling; as if the biological output of a decent night’s sleep were merely an annual tax return requiring aggressive pruning. We are now expected to pour over the nuances between 'l-arginine,' 'zinc bio-complexes,' and whether consuming fermented hummingbird milk 2 to 50 times a week constitutes adequate anti-oxidant coverage.
I was supposed to be preoccupied with the structural integrity of my nether regions, not the optimal ingestion sequence for testicular vitality - although with the bone shaking which occurs in many of the underground lines, I'm surprised balls haven't fallen a clatter at many a grinding section. At some point, surely, this pseudo-medical beautification 'maxxing' phase - is going to hit the buffers where they just recommend quitting sex entirely and sticking your parts in a boiling gold vat of yoghurt instead.
