In alternate reality 45823...

The latest edition of 'Democracy for The End Times', lands on the desk of the British Prime Minister. "Are you a PUSSY LICKING DRUGKING, or PROGRESSIVE LOVING DATER?"

The PM smirks, and licks his lips. He hadn't tasted the good stuff in quite a while. And with all those paparazites outside, it might be a while before he would again. As for the other stuff, his young fillies were doing rather well. Jeni even beat the bookies with a 100 yards to spare at the Goodgrove races

He looks down his to-do list and maniacally mutters. "Scuppering Parliament, check. Drowning the Speaker in a grab the apple contest, in progress. Hanging out promises of a better tomorrow without jam today, that's our mantra. In the record books, even as the shortest serving PM since 1827, by Jove still on track!"

As financial, social, and international storm clouds gather in growing intensity, the asymmetric flapping wings of destiny ferociously beat towards an approaching darkening maw.

Floppy bits

I had an email pop in regarding the exciting news of “going from a couch potato to 5k in just 9 weeks".

Why?I wondered to no one in particular. I neither have a couch, nor do I wish to run 5k - never have done. Plus there’s hardly enough hours in a day to get a dot of what I wish to, and the bits that I do are interspersed with bouncing between walls before bed. Time to run? Hardly time to gather thoughts and firmly tie them down with coherent ropes of logic and reason.

For those out there who do 5k’s, you are an inspiration. Keep up the wonderful work, but remember that couch potatoes exist, so everyone else can feel good.