Sunday 9 June 2019

In alternate reality 45823....

“Before we begin our next show 'Orange is the old Lemon', breaking news from the leafy suburbs of Slurry Peath. Hildabrad, just what is going on?”

“Yes, good evening Daviard. We are just outside the home of constituent mp Mr Cove. We have been led to believe that he will soon be making a statement, regarding. Wait, hold on. The front door has just being opened a crack; and yes, Mr Cove's shiny pate is peeking out, and I can confirm that his mouth is moving. Quick point it over the there.”

"...my name is Michael Cove, and I have a confession. I took cocaine 20 years ago when I was working in a pig farm, and I was so off my tits that I might have made sweet happy love to Betsy, once or twice. It was a mistake, over which I experience deep re-. No, sod it. It was the happiest years of my life. Vote for me, to ensure everything's all legalised, tested for purity, and taxed the same as alcohol and cigarettes. Buy two, and get your own Betsy for free. Vote for me!"

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