Thursday, 1 November 2007

Blissful awareness.

At the age of six, I had my first sexual experience. At the age of nine I attempted to incorporate a bank whilst in junior school for the benefit of fellow classmates; but that, was soon lanced!

When my becoming a banker scheme was discovered, teachers - in concert with a large high street competitor - allowed the opening of kids accounts. Parents, who obviously couldn't recognise a bargain when it slapped them around the face before dropping into their lap, naturally consented. I was even going to offer an incentive, 1.5% above the bank base rate. Sadly all the initial takers dropped by the wayside and suffice to say I, reluctantly, conceded defeat.

But been young, full of it, and at the time un-cowed by the slightest knock back; I flitted through the next batch of hatch-able plans.

So it was, that by the age of 11 whilst coming up with some exceptionally moribund prose, I helped out in the local Tandy store, a mere five minutes leisurely stroll from the front porch. Nothing illegal, I eagerly threw my services at them. First befriending, by popping in on a daily basis, and informing them of how geeky and into Computers I was, and then after a couple of months, what could I do to possibly help? Well the thought of possibly getting a recommendation from the Manager for employment in the chain at some future stage, floated across my eyes like a mirage.

Amazing how much practical knowledge can be gained by working in an electrical store, so boxes were unpacked, things placed on shelves or arms, and in return they allowed me to use brand new computers which came in-store with the odd break for soliquid refreshments.

Before that particular plan had a proper conception, it come to an abrupt end! Namely in the form of a new manager and assistants – personally, It was more a case of not wanting an 11 year old with more knowledge showing them up over the rubbish they started selling. But with the knowledge gained, I eventually badgered my parents into purchasing a Sinclair ZX-81, still shudder at the thought of that monstrosity. Very surprised it never melted, and as for the printer paper...

At the tender age of 12, I produced my first batch of gunpowder – with ingredients purchased from Boots, and made small sachets which I sold at a profit to fellow schoolmates, but I wanted more. Sadly when the form bully got hold of some and didn't pay, the nasty thoughts which deluged through my mind made me hastily decide to call it a day. Before something happened, that I would have later regretted.

It was all downhill from then on, until I reached the ripe old age of 18. But it was at 19, with another set of dismal exam results clutched before me, that I started work on my first symphony. Then in the maelstrom of moving over the following two years, the finished piece my pride and glowing joy, I'd misplaced – and with the memory of a fruit fly as much as I tried, could never re-create the full piece. But every now and then, odd haunting bars bubble up, so perhaps one day it will make another appearance.

Did, films, photography, acting, holidaying, even running a club. Kept up to date with the mad technological flow of the InterWeb. Sort of held down jobs, but as I've found out over the years, there is nothing more dispiriting than working for people who really shouldn't be given given the slightest sniff at power - let alone put anywhere near a 'managerial' role - and who if exhibiting any form of hankering for climbing up the greasy pole of careerism, be given nothing more satisfying, than a good Tasering.

Now, for some happy pictures...

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